<p>I didn't mean to suggest that Vandy had turned my daughter into an alcoholic or an idiot. She just changed. She went from almost all A's all the time to As, Bs, and a C. She explained that as a function of the fact that Vandy is hard, and the professors are hard graders. I believe her, because I know she studied. (Her high school is consistently rated in the top ten in the nation and she had stellar standardized test scores, so her high school grades weren't a fluke). I have no sense that her joining a sorority was the first step toward a life of substance abuse, academic failure, and shallowness. She just started to have some fun, and it seems that trying alcohol has allowed her to do this. I am not thrilled that it took alcohol and a sorority, but there it is. My point is that I had one of those daughters who wore nothing but jeans and t-shirts, and now I have one who drinks and aspires to appear as if she hangs out at the country club. That's all. It is by no means a disaster. I am actually very happy for her -- as long as she keeps things in perspective. I just thought it needed to be said that kids change in college...</p>
<p>hopefully everything will turn out great for your daughter!</p>
<p>it's not entirely accurate to simply say "kids change in college." I think mirimom's d is a perfect example of "colleges changing kids"
had her d gone to a different school, she may have become a different person, for better or worse...</p>
<p>Oh, please ... of COURSE kids change in college & college changes kids. Young people are still growing up at that time, and they are bound to change in some ways. To "blame" a college for anything is naive. I know that some of the things I had never-done-yet-did-in-college were things one might associate with being at a party school ... but I was at a school few would consider a party school. Change can come about anywhere.</p>
<p>I've been thinking a lot about mirimom's post and about how kids change in college and colleges can change kids. Although I think it unlikely that my daughter would get real involved with a sorority, I certainly would have no problem if she did. If she met up with fine girls who sparked her interest in sorority activities, that would be fine with me, as long as she keeps everything in proper perspective. Undoubtedly, many people have grown positively from their associations with frats and sororities. I am glad to hear, however, that social encounters at Vanderbilt are not one- dimensional(ie. only frat and soro). Thanks all for the input!!</p>