Will she fit in?

<p>My d has applied to Vanderbilt and we are planning to visit in a few weeks. She is absolutely NOT a fashionista or sorority type person. She is sociable, but would not enjoy going to drinking parties. She wears jeans all the time and doesn't wear makeup. She has a great sense of humor and is willing to try new things- she's just one of those idealists who believes what's inside a person is more important than the exterior facade. She also has no interest in sports. Could she fit in to the Vandy scene??</p>

<p>of course....that is just like me.....i do not plan to drink in college....and I absolutely hate makeup..i believe that vanderbilt has a group for everybody....she seems like they type of person i would get along with....lol...</p>

<p>Vanderbilt is large enough that most people can find a group. Your daughter would be in the minority among the women there but by no means alone.</p>

<p>It is my son who is a student at Vanderbilt, not my daughter, but I'd say he is the male equivalent of your daughter. Not a drinker and could not--literally--care less about clothes. He might attend a sports function just to hang out with his friends, but let's hope no one expects him to offer a knowledgeable assessment of the game. He has found a large group of friends and likes Vanderbilt a lot. </p>

<p>Your daughter should keep an open mind when she visits. I'll bet she likes what she sees.</p>

<p>BTW, I just noticed that you are from Houston. There are a lot of kids from Texas at Vanderbilt. Every other parent I spoke with at move-in-weekend was from Texas.</p>

<p>pipmom: Visited Vanderbilt two years ago with my son and wife. Spoke at length with two female students neither of whom wore make-up or drank. Both loved Vanderbilt. Also met several other students and some parents, all very non-Southern Belle types and all, without exception, had only praise for Vandy. Where else is your daughter applying? Did you visit other schools? Middlebury College, Northwestern University, Dartmouth College, Harvard Univ. and several others that we visited "sound" as if they may match what you & your daughter are seeking in a university ( although drinking is an issue at Middlebury and Dartmouth). Georgetown & Stanford were also great experiences. Several schools, however, were not, but I would rather respond to your questions rather than to discuss our non-matches. Also loved Chicago & Davidson. Word to the wise: If Vandy asks your daughter to fill out a scholarship application, it is best to do so. Our son absolutely refused to do it and, as he was away, I had to explain why.</p>

<p>Your daughter sounds like lots of my friends, and even me now considering that my once beloved high heels have turned into <em>gasp</em> a good pair of boots or tennis shoes. There is something here for everyone. Best of luck to your daughter!</p>

<p>My D spent time on Vandy's campus a couple months ago. She saw plenty of girls walking around in jeans with no make up. She asked random students how they liked the school & if they had any complaints. She found that everyone loved the school and no one had complaints. She talked to girls like your daughter (who sounds like my daughter). The bottom line is that your D will fit in just fine.</p>

<p>I'm so glad to hear there are others applying with the same concerns as me - it sounds like I wouldn't be as out-of-place as I thought :)</p>

<p>Thanks so much- I feel so much better now. She has applied to a range of schools from most selective to safety- UT Austin. UT is the largest school on her list and she applied only because it is a safety for her- really doesn't want to go to a large large school. I am hoping she likes Vanderbilt- she was asked to apply for the Cornelius Vanderbilt scholarship and has done so.</p>

<p>so this greek-life dominant, hip-fashion southern belle image of the Vandy social scene is overblown? I hope so. As a guy, being surrounded by a herd of shallow, appearance driven, unintellectual girls would disappoint me. This thread has really reassured me a bit.</p>

<p>There are some of those, to be sure. However, there are plenty of nonstereotypical girls to be found. Enough that the girls who aren't stereotypical will feel comfortable ... and enough that the guys who like the nonstereotypical girl should be happy!</p>

<p>I'm a senior and a member of a sorority: YES, that stereotype is overblown ... in the sense that the image implies the girls are "shallow" and "airheads."</p>

<p>Remember: it's a stereotype.</p>

<p>John-
Ignore this 'cd' person, IF he is indeed a student at Vanderbilt he is embarrassing the university and for some reason trying very hard to perpetuate a stereotype.
Only you will know what is right for you. At Vanderbilt, as I have said before, there is something for everyone. I have friends from around the world, literally. I noticed that you are from Ohio-I've met many, many people from Ohio, the northeast, and definitely Texas.
There are people here who study 24/7, others that don't, brilliant people who are as nice as they are smart, sporty people, people who don't like sports, people who have never had a drop of alcohol...I could go on forever.
Most of my professors love teaching and treat everyone, even undergrads, with the utmost respect-and are willing to do whatever they can to help you. Even in the few large classes that I've had, accessibility was never a problem.
The Commons is going to be wonderful for the incoming freshmen and, in my humble opinion, propel our university forward.
Please visit, if at all possible, and if you cannot visit talk to alumni in your area.
Best of luck to you as well, I am sure you will do fine whatever your decision!</p>

<p>The "cd" person's post has miraculously disappeared. Thank you, moderators.</p>

<p>vandy 08, thank you for the reminder that relying on negative stereotypes is unfair and, in the end, unfortunate for all concerned.</p>

<p>What was this "cd" person's post about? i wish i could have seen it!</p>

<p>In high school, my d wore a little bit of make up on certain occasions, and although we cannot afford designer haute coture, she has always liked new clothes and cared about her appearance. She is very smart and a very serious student, but NEVER went to h.s. parties where there was alcohol or other drugs, and was a very straight arrow. Her concerns about sororities and the kind of culture discussed on this thread were minor prior to her going to Vandy. Mine were major. So she got there this fall, and reported LOVING every single thing about the school. She loved her classes and found them extremely challenging, interesting, and provocative. She made lots of new friends. She slept through most of Thanksgiving break, but when she wasn't asleep, she was studying/doing homework. At Xmas, she was a different girl. She wanted to go shopping constantly and begged for expensive, status-label clothes. She got some. She went back and joined a sorority. Without going into details, I have learned that she drinks now, and has been so drunk on occasion that she has been sick. Her grades for first semester were so-so, MUCH lower than she had ever gotten before. She is the happiest she has ever been. So: things change.</p>

<p>Thanks for the different perspective. You are right- things do change once the child is off in college. </p>

<p>Since I have never personally had experience with sororities ( I went to a college with none), can someone describe what types of things, advantages, etc. they offer other than the drinking parties for which they seem to be most known. What does "rush" actually involve?</p>

<p>If you haven't seen it already, you might find the (Greek</a> Life at Vanderbilt University) website helpful, particularly the "For Prospective Members" and "For Parents" sections. The section on NPC recruitment is fairly comprehensive.</p>

<p>Vandy sororities, in my experience, are NOT known for sponsoring drinking parties. We're not allowed to purchased alcohol with chapter funds; also, the University has been known to place harsh penalties on chapters who provide new members with alcohol. (That doesn't mean older girls won't give alcohol to younger girls, but it does mean they will be penalized if found out.)</p>

<p>With that said: membership in a sorority provides girls with a number of advantages but it depends on what the girl looks and works for. Your daughter can be as active or as inactive as she likes. I will spare you from a VERY long list of benefits I discovered of being in a sorority the past 3 years (you can PM me if you are really interested) and say that Vanderbilt is my home first and foremost because my chapter is my home. Not to sound trite, but the bond of sisterhood is above and beyond friendship: it's about growing up and becoming (as one of my advisors always says) a better version of yourself through shared experiences with your sisters and traditions that have been passed down (for some of us) for over 100 years. It's something that unfortunately cannot be explained but only experienced.</p>

<p>Mirimom-
While I <em>wish</em> that I could state that what you have posted is absolutely, positively, never the case, I cannot. I watched it happen my freshman year, and not liking what I saw I chose not to rush/join a srat. My hope for your daughter is that she, first and foremost, is careful-we have had some 'incidents' recently re: some new sorority members becoming so intoxicated that they had to be taken to the ER...it was a hot topic at a meeting I attended recently as well as written up in one of our online pubs so it is not a secret...and I've heard that they will be 'cracking down' on this behavior.
As for the grade thing, my experience has been the opposite. My grades are so much better than they were in high school-I've been on the Dean's list every semester-but not because of incessant studying. Excuse the cliche', but learning here is (for me) more of a joy than a chore, mostly thanks to the profs and the people in my classes.
I really hope that prospective students (and their parents) aren't scared away by what they read about the greek/party scene here(not mutually exclusive, by the way). In the end it is a personal choice. Vandy 08 seems to be the epitome of what is good about the greek system. However, there are equally as many of us who love life, love our friends, and love Vandy without going greek!
P.S. to midmo-for some reason I couldn't reply to you, but thanks, you are a sweetheart!</p>