<p>Like you know how it is. I got like suspended for getting wasted at my prom. What’s with that? Now like it could have happened any weekend, but the prom is a big, long thing, and it’s hard to go all those hours without getting smashed. I barfed in the bathroom with a whole bunch of friends. And then got stoned in the limo - and they had videos! You know the kind. You been there. And look at you today, a successful like admissions officer and everything!</p>
<p>I can’t wait to go your school. There seems to be a party like three times a week. And once I’m gone from the ‘rents’ pad, the possibilities are endless. Please admit me and give me some bread. We really don’t need it, which is why we didn’t apply for financial aid, but my parents like will get off my case if they can puff their chests out to their friends. And I do deserve it, and I will be a credit to the school, and work hard and play hard, as they say. That’s your reputation and I’ll fit right in. And wouldn’t it be cool if we could like party together?</p>
<p>Your soon-to-be friend,</p>
<p>XXX Mindy"</p>
<p>Now that I’ve got that off my chest, I really do sympathize. Kids do stuff. Some get caught and some don’t. Some face significant consequences, and some don’t. Luckily, the kids are young, and they do rebound, and it is better that they make mistakes at 16 than at 30. It’s part of growing up. </p>
<p>Does she need any counseling? Do you really know how often she drinks, or was it a one-time thing? (Having worked in the field, I very much doubt that.) The terrible thing is not that she was caught; it could be that it is a wonderful thing that she was caught, and that she can get the help she needs. I’d be far more concerned about that. Hope all goes well.</p>
<p>More to the point - this binge drinking behavior is absolutely condoned by these very colleges. The college culture is full of binge drinking behavior. Perhaps these colleges should have these perfect HS students sign pledges that they will NEVER, EVER binge drink while on their campus and let’s see how many actually sign it or better yet, live it.</p>
<p>This girl got caught in HS. She is fortunate b/c she has learned early on what the effects of binge drinking can be. I am relieved that there was no citation. It can be used as a life lesson for her and it may actually be a blessing in disguise because she will be the one who thinks twice about this behavior. Many students with perfect HS records will go on to college and get caught up in this behavior pretty routinely and could face far worse circumstances than she.</p>
<p>Mini, your letter is not representative of my daughter or her situation. Not sure why you feel the need to mock us when I am asking for advise to help us through a terribly upsetting time. I do not believe I conveyed any information that would lend one to believe either she or I am taking the suspension or its cause lightly.</p>
<p>I feel for you OP, I really do. Kids do some stupid things, and the way the world currently works makes them pay for those stupid things for a long time. </p>
<p>That said, the statement that your principal made was interesting. I thought that the GC had to answer questions about suspensions/discipline also on the GC form they fill out. So even if it is not on the transcript, wouldn’t it still be in the record and the GC required to disclose it?</p>
<p>Sorry! I’m mocking ClassicRockerDad’s post #19, not your situation.</p>
<p>I spent much of my career working in the alcohol and drug prevention and treatment field. I know the impact that alcohol and drugs can have on kids later in life, especially the links between early use and longer-term alcoholism and serious substance abuse problems among adults. I think it is unlikely that this was a one-time event (it could have been, but that is relatively rare), and college admissions could be the least of your challenges.</p>
<p>Vlines, I honestly don’t know. We’ve not had to request a letter of recommendation yet from the GC. I will have to add that to my list of things to check on. I certainly would not expect the GC to withhold information that is specifically requested. I’m just not sure how much discretion a GC would have in reporting it on a LOR.</p>
<p>Mini, understood. Thanks for clarification. Although not the topic I’m seeking help with here, we are addressing the drinking. I think it was an experiment that went badly awry. I do not believe she is an experienced drinker. But, we are handling the issue head on and with eyes wide open.</p>
<p>"“I think it was an experiment that went badly awry. I do not believe she is an experienced drinker. But, we are handling the issue head on and with eyes wide open.”" </p>
<p>I’m thinking she wasn’t experienced either or she probably wouldn’t have gotten caught. That’s the rub in situations like this…Kids that do it (drinking, drugs, cheating) regularly know HOW to do it so that noone is the wiser. </p>
<p>For my own information…how do GC’s LORs work in situations like this. If the police were not involved it is at their discretion whether to mention the event? Or is there usually a policy on the school books about it? Seems an honest and open conversation with the GC is definately the place to start. I can’t imagine that any GC would want to stand in the way of young persons’ chances at college admissions based on one not-great decision.</p>
<p>It does not sound like a kid who drinks often to me. If she did, she would have known WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY better than to drink at prom itself.</p>
<p>my daughter was got with a pot brownie on campus, or rather she was one of six girls “caught” as two got sick and then told on the rest, which I understand</p>
<p>Anyway, she was suspended for a day, had inschool suspention for two weeks, couldn’t do ecs at school for a month. She took her punishment, which was warrented with great humility. The school told her as long as she behaved for the rest of her high school career, she would not have to mention the suspension anywhere. It would not be anywhere. So on the applications, it was not an issue.<br>
She ended up with a great relationship with her gc and the dean of students, who handled the suspension and punishment.</p>
<p>point is, this doesn’t have to be a giant black slash on her file. its not a “requirement” to have to share a suspension. The school has leeway in how they handle things. And colleges are aware. High schools don’t want to wreck a kids college dreams for a onetime event. Its used as leverage and to scare them, which is fine.</p>
<p>As for the drinking/being drunk, at prom, sad to say and before many big events, girls often don’t eat properly, they may diet more then usual, exercise more, and when they do have a drink, or three, it can hit them really hard. I have seen it.</p>
<p>They pregame and drink fast so the buzz hits them hard. I wouldn’t see this as a huge warning sign of some bigger issue. WHen I look at myself, my friends, my husband, etc, and how we were in highschool, this isn’t so bad.</p>
<p>Yes they did. They can put it into a students file however they want and call it what they want. </p>
<p>Sure there is selective reporting. As I stated, schools don’t want to wreck a students chances if they are good kids, and made a mistake in judgement one time. Would you want your chances ruined if you were 16 and drank too much and got caught at prom? </p>
<p>That would be pretty draconion and cruel. </p>
<p>My daughter had to go to drug counseling meetings, she did extra volunteer work, did a talk to freshman about what happened, she more then made up for her stupdity and the school saw that. WHat would the point of double punishment be? </p>
<p>No kids are perfect and even the smartest nicest kids do stupid. It shouldn’t follow them for ever.</p>
<p>My daughter had to drop out of the school play, miss a retreat, and not try out for a sport, should she have been punished even further?</p>
<p>I just googled the list of colleges using the common app. It’s nearly 500. Most of the ones we are considering are listed. I am disheartened. It looks like the suspension will have to be disclosed. I can’t imagine it not having a negative impact on merit consideration at those schools. Sigh.</p>