Will suspension affect merit aid offers?

Parents Forum
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<p>“So the school condoned not disclosing on the Common App? Interesting…”</p>

<p>So did she lie on the common application? I mean the language is very straightforward.</p>

<p>"“Have you ever been found responsible for a disciplinary violation at any educational institution you have attended from the 9th grade (or the international equivalent)
forward, whether related to academic misconduct or behavioral misconduct, that resulted in a disciplinary action? These actions could include, but are not limited
to: probation, suspension, removal, dismissal, or expulsion from the institution.
Yes
No”</p>

<p>It doesn’t even have to be a suspension. ANY disciplinary action. Doesn’t sound like there is a gray area to me. So schools come down on the students for drinking, then tell them and teach them to lie. Nice going.</p>

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<p>basically, they told her to lie. </p>

<p>It is not a loophole.</p>

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<p>It’s not that I don’t agree with you. I think the system is punative to our kids. And does not really allow for “lessons learned”. </p>

<p>Accepting and completing your punishment is necessary. But lying about it on the college ap, and being encouraged by the school to lie about it is what is disheartening. The question on the ap is not “are any infractions posted to your school record”. It pretty clearly asks for any form of infraction to be disclosed. Period.</p>

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<p>I wouldn’t be too disheartened. The language on the common app is something like…“explain the circumstances and reflect on what you learned from the experience.” I’m sure if she writes an honest account of what happened and what lesson she took away from it, she’ll be fine. I’m hard pressed to believe that any college will be shocked by it.</p>

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<p>what the school told her was they would not “post it on her school record” if she followed all the rules, completed the punishments, etc. So they never posted it to her record, so she did not lie. They said if there was another event, they would post it.</p>

<p>So its not lying. It how the school and many schools handle these types of situations. So it doesn’t say any infraction has to be posted, just ones on your official record and if the school decides to hold off posting, i would assume that is the schools right. And if the school never posts it to your record, then you are not lying if you do not disclose.</p>

<p>In my daughter’s case, they said they would hold the incident in a file, and if anything else happened it would be posted, but as she did all that was asked, and went above and beyond, they felt no need to post officially.</p>

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<p>seahorsesrock…I hear you. But the truth is that she WAS “found responsible for a disciplinary violation at any educational institution you have attended from the 9th grade (or the international equivalent)
forward, whether related to academic misconduct or behavioral misconduct, that resulted in a disciplinary action? These actions could include, but are not limited
to: probation, suspension, removal, dismissal, or expulsion from the institution”</p>

<p>It does not matter if it was on her transcript or not. And it was most definitely in her record somewhere. Schools can’t dole out any punishment without documentation of it.</p>

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<p>“So its not lying.”</p>

<p>It’s lying. It’s a simple “yes or no” question. If there was a disciplinary action (detention?), the answer is “yes”; if there wasn’t a disciplinary action, the answer is “no”. Doesn’t matter what the school says about “files”, “expunging”, “keeping quiet”, “no one needs to know”, “not posted officially”, yadda, yadda, yadda.</p>

<p>“And if the school never posts it to your record, then you are not lying if you do not disclose.”</p>

<p>Question is simple: was there a disciplinary action? </p>

<p>The school should be ashamed of itself.</p>

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<p>If the school is willing to expunge the record, then they have that right. It was erased as if it didn’t happen, which seems fair to me, so long as she did all she was asked to do and more</p>

<p>the school didn’t feel it warrented further discipline and further punishment. so they wisely chose to let my daughter move on and not fear life changing consequences for a one off event</p>

<p>she was punished, there were consequences, just they didn’t need to follow her for years to come</p>

<p>as for the question, is overly broad and overly punitive, imo, and sure, disclosing may not be perfectly honest, but how much more punishment does a highschool or a college want to put on a kid for being stupid once?</p>

<p>It like, no officer, I didn’t know I was speeding. Egad</p>

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<p>Seahorse - As noted above, this is directly contrary to the language on the common app. (And the common app does not qualify the question so as to exclude disciplinary actions that were “expunged.”)</p>

<p>If the student reports it, and the school does not, I would like to think this would reflect favorably on the student.</p>

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<p>No . . . but can the same be said for her dishonesty?</p>

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<p>Then there are those students that were honest on their app…despite the fact that it was easy to lie.</p>

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<p>the school should not be ashamed of itself. It didn’t want a kid to be doubley or tripley punished. should a stupid event a kid did follow them for years if no one was hurt and they did their time?</p>

<p>apparently so, they should lose out on possible merit aid, not get into a school, or whatever, even though the rest of their record is stellar, they were punished well and fully at the time, missing out on many school activities, but hey, lets let this follow them forever!!</p>

<p>juvie records seem more sealed and private then the common app does</p>

<p>statute of limitation on crimes are often shorter seems then the common app question</p>

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<p>all of those statements may be true, seahorsesrock. But the fact is that your daughter did lie on the common ap. It stinks that the system works this way, but it does.</p>

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<p>hey lets just keep the punishment going long after the event, because, heaven forbid, we should give teens second chances and the opportunity to redeem themselves, and even though they didn’t do anything bad again, we are going to nit pick about drinking at, gasp, prom</p>

<p>How long should an event follow a kid? you want it to possilby not let a kid attend college, because of money, because one time, stupidly, she drank too much?</p>

<p>egad some really mean people here. I believe in second chances, guess some here dont. And if not admitting to something I don’t have to admit to, because I have done my time and the offended party says its iver, well, good enough for me</p>

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<p>I agree with this approach. It has to be reported. If the police were involved, a lawyer is needed. However, I don’t think it’s going to derail an otherwise good application. </p>

<p>Perhaps our viewpoints are determined by how drunk we got in high school. I drank plenty. When I got to college I drank plenty too. I learned the hard way not to drink hard liquor. I learned that beer can be self regulating because you get full. I never became an alcoholic. I don’t believe that admissions officers were any cleaner than the general population of the college that they went to, and I don’t believe that they will hold this particular offense against her if it’s reported and she’s contrite in explaining it. A large fraction of them have been there.</p>

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<p>and if you think people don’t fudge the truth on the common application, well dream on</p>

<p>if you think recs aren’t exagerated? we see where profs in school just sign a rec letter</p>

<p>oh the horror, she lied on the common application!!! don’t really care!!! Im glad her school did what they did. They understand kids make mistakes, unlike many here.</p>

<p>bet you all are perfect, good for you, me, not so much</p>

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<p>I hope what you say is true classicrocker. Anyone out there have a child suspended for similar reasons, disclose the suspension on the application, yet still receive merit aid? I need a light at the end of this tunnel. It’s been a rough two weeks at my house and I’m just trying to gauge the extent of the potential fallout.</p>

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<p>C’est la vie. But please tell me your daughter didn’t apply to Davidson.</p>

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<p>seahorsesrock, it is understandable that you are angry for being called out on this. It is difficult to face an ugly truth about yourself or your kids. Your feelings of not wanting something to follow a kid long term are valid. Unfortunately, they are not reality. And it stinks. </p>

<p>Encouraging a student to lie only adds to the culture of lying.</p>

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<p>So, “to keep up with the Joneses,” your daughter should lie also???</p>

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<p>You don’t know that any of this would have happened. Unfortunately, the only thing you do know for sure is that you’ve taught your daughter that when it’s expedient to lie, she should.</p>

<p>Terrible lesson . . . and one that will plague her far longer than a single incident of high school misconduct.</p>

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<p>If the school didn’t want it on her common ap, there was a very simple way out: don’t take disciplinary action. But they did. And then promoted her lying about it. </p>

<p>Sounds like what schools are doing with standardized tests of late.</p>

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<p>“culture of lying” hahahahaha, my sides hurt</p>

<p>It was a not the truth, to the degree, perhaps, college app wanted. But I have no guilt in how we handled the question. NONE
Its not an ugly truth. I own what we did. And we have no regrets.</p>

<p>As for the school, they did what they did so my child would not be punished twice or thrice over.</p>

<p>Please, if you have never lied, ever, about job skills, missing an appointment, covering for someone, whatever, then feel free to post here.</p>

<p>Oh, and my daughter was never caught with the brownie. She never ate the brownie, otherwise she would have gotten very sick, like the other girls. She had tossed the brownie. However the other girls shared and told the truth about who in the group bought them. My daughter told the truth to the school. She did not lie during any part of the actual event. So when it came time to answer the question, as the school felt it did not warrent them discussing, she did not either. Three years after the event, the school knew she was a great kid. She was very close to her counseleors, et al. </p>

<p>So being not perfectly honest on a form years later, well, call us big fat liars if you want. DOn’t much care. </p>

<p>To the OP, I am sorry all this happened, so been there done that, wish the world was more forgiving and less punitive</p>

<p>Those without sin, etc…</p>