<p>So you’re saying that if a student ever received detention in their four years of high school they should report it on the Common App?</p>
<p>You can read it as well as we can, I would think.</p>
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</p>
<p>and so it goes. </p>
<p>We get it. It is OK that your daughter lied because she got away with it. And you are OK with her lying. </p>
<p>I have NEVER lied on job skills or a job application. Never. </p>
<p>I’m sure I have lied for why I did not want to meet with someone or go to an appointment. Guilty. Don’t exactly think that is the same thing.</p>
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<p>it is not just detention, but “any disciplinary action” per the common app. That could be many different things.</p>
<p>Well if detention counts, than color us liars too. I’ve never been on the wrong side of “the law” before! Cool!</p>
<p>Perfection, its nice that so many have attained it. The rest of us will be less judgemental, as we still are imperfect.</p>
<p>keepingitlight, only if the detention was related to any academic or behavioral misconduct. </p>
<p>I am not sure if detention because of something like being tardy 4 times for class would be considered academic or behavioral misconduct or not. I am not sure though. I guess it could be.</p>
<p>seahorsesrock, no one is saying they are perfect.</p>
<p>My company recently dismissed someone who lied on a job application about a prior arrest. It was very sad; if he had disclosed the reaction would have been, “It was a long time ago; thank you very much for coming clean”. But instead he answered “no” to the question 'have you ever been arrested" and got hired, and eventually the background check came back revealing the arrest.</p>
<p>so sad.</p>
<p>Folks, the coverup is ALWAYS worse than the crime. (cf Watergate, Weinergate, “Walking the Appalachian Trail” when you’re with your Mistress in Argentina.) Always. College admissions offices are filled with real live human beings. Corporate HR departments are filled with real live human beings. You get points for honesty when it hurts to disclose. You get points for discussing a mistake, an indiscretion, poor judgment, whatever it was at the time that it happened. And the younger and stupider you were, the more points you get.</p>
<p>But you gain nothing from trying to mentally expunge something that was, in fact, recorded somewhere. The truth catches up and when it does it is very sad. Our employee would have had to take three minutes to explain his youthful indiscretion and we’d have all moved on. But checking that box “no”… oy vey, what a moment of stupidity…</p>
<p>Eh, whatever. I’m convinced that a sincere acknowledgement of what she did, and why it was wrong, and what she learned from the experience…and how it won’t happen again (until the first weekend at college where no one will give a rat’s raisin) will right all wrongs.</p>
<p>What we are talking about here is our sense of integrity. Do we feel it’s okay to lie a little to get ahead, or is it more important to keep our conscience clear? I am reminded of the following poem:</p>
<p>The Man In The Glass
Peter Dale Wimbrow Sr. </p>
<p>When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.</p>
<p>For it isnt your father, or mother, or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.</p>
<p>Hes the fellow to please never mind all the rest
For hes with you, clear to the end
And youve passed your most difficult, dangerous test
If the man in the glass is your friend.</p>
<p>You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If youve cheated the man in the glass.</p>
<p>I believe that the question “Have you ever been arrested?” is illegal. The question “Have you ever been convicted?” is not illegal.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>[Illegal</a> Interview Questions - Business Insider](<a href=“Illegal Interview Questions”>Illegal Interview Questions)</p>
<p>FWIW, I’m with those who think an admission of the mistake, followed by a few paragraphs on lessons learned, will not count against the OPs daughter.</p>
<p>I would have her disclose because she has integrity, period. </p>
<p>But even if she didn’t, I would have her disclose because getting caught lying calls her integrity into question which calls into question EVERYTHING in the application, at least it should. </p>
<p>Now we can make the same argument that maybe a large fraction of admissions officers lied and cheated, and sympathize, but I think that’s a harder one to get up and justify in university admissions committee. </p>
<p>I think integrity violations are much more serious to a college than getting caught drinking.</p>
<p>And the disclosure from something that happened Junior year requires three lines. What happened. What the consequences were. What I learned from it. Case closed and moving on. Not disclosing requires the mental ingenuity of Socrates or at least Bill Clinton. Too much mental effort for something so minor.</p>
<p>Interesting thread! </p>
<p>Whew! So relieved that I sat down with D13 on Friday BEFORE her prom and told her that any bad decisions may cost her the scholarship that she has been awarded. Why are we so afraid to talk to our kids about these things and are then surprised when they happen? Ask the pregnant HS student if she thinks that one mistake should follow her the rest of her life? Sex or alcohol or drugs. We don’t know when it will happen, but it does. What we do next is the biggest lesson for them of all… And then we have consequences. So now there may not be a scholarship. Maybe there is a greater lesson in your D attending a state U where the merit aid isn’t an issue for you, but she will absolutely make better decisions the next time.</p>
<p>
Was this a private school? (Just curious.) So any kind of disciplinary infraction is “expunged” if it’s a first-time occurrence? (All those lies on the Common App from this school’s students?) I bet this school encourages a culture of dishonesty in lots of other ways.</p>
<p>We reap what we sow. Prepare yourself for years of dishonesty if you perpetuate the lie. </p>
<p>I like what someone said earlier… that it will take so much more energy to cover it up. It doesn’t really matter whether or not the school expunges or “forgives” this incident, you have to live with yourself and sleep peacefully at night. I know I couldn’t do it.</p>
<p>it was a public school, and no they don’t encourage lying</p>
<p>the question is far to vague and if the school doesn’t think its reportable, then I for sure wouldn’t report it, that would just be stupid</p>
<p>yes officer, i did roll past the stop sign, and oh you missed that i didn’t have my blinker on, so be sure and ticket me for that as well. </p>
<p>the question is vauge and unfair and as each school diciplines in a wide range of ways for the exact same breaking of the rules, then ie one day in house vs two weeks suspension for two kids caught at same after prom party, two different schools</p>
<p>i am done here, as I am such a bad person looking out for my kid and making sure one mistake didn’t wreck her future, and for not being sin-free like the rest of you, i feel i am unworthy</p>
<p>There is nothing in the least vague about the question.</p>