<p>Daughter is turning down the university that went the extra mile and gave daughter more in scholarship/grant when she needed it. We met with the people and the man who worked there was a wonderful person, very kind and nice. Daughter has decided, though, that she wants to stay with the college she already picked. She doesn't want to go back and look again, she is fine, and done. And she has gotten herself excited about the other smaller school. </p>
<p>I am not at all saying she should decide anything based on her younger sibs, I am just wondering if this could affect her younger siblings. I could see this university as being a real possibility for her younger siblings. In fact, I am a bit shocked she did not pick the university. I am fine and great with it, just surprised. I am thinking it is because she does not know what she wants to major in and an LAC will give her a wider variety in classes she can take and such. Universities (at least the ones here) tend to cater more to the more focused students who know which direction they are going. I think her choice is a good one for her. But, with my next child up to go to college, I think that university would be a great fit. The next child is much younger, but is in all high school level courses. He will likely end up doing dual enrollment in high school (or one of those high school/college hybrid programs we have in our area) because he will already be taking calculus in 9th grade so there will not be much further for him to go in traditional high school. And his younger brother is much younger (and not advanced at all) just headed to middle school next year. </p>
<p>I am trying to ask if I need to worry that when she turns down the university, will that look poorly on her younger siblings? We have a very uncommon, ethnic last name, that I think is easy to remember, but, so uncommon that I have never in my life met anyone with that last name that is not my own relative. It is actually an extremely rare name in this country. </p>
<p>Do not worry, I do not intend to tell her that she needs to take the offer from the university for her younger siblings. I am thrilled with her choice of school. It is a great fit for HER. I just want to know if I should worry at all about this affecting her younger siblings. And should she write a letter to the man she was working with thanking him for his help? Or try to turn down the admission quietly and he might not notice? He was from the financial aid office.</p>
<p>Simply stated, you should have no worries about this. My younger sister did very well with schools I turned down. After all, schools know you can only attend one school at the time and also know that most people HAVE to pursue several opportunities and financial aid. </p>
<p>Definitely do what’s right for your older daughter. But also definitely write a thank you note to the financial aid person, too. College administrators are professionals and realize that they will not get all the students they work to attract, but I’m sure acknowledgment and appreciation of their personal efforts would leave a positive impression of your daughter and her family. </p>
<p>College/university staff and faculty, in and out of the admission’s office, see kids come and go every day. For every kid that accepts a spot, many more say thanks but no thanks. For a million different reasons. That’s the way the admissions game is played. Not to say that your child isn’t special, I’m sure she is…but her college selection process is alot more personal to you than anyone at the school she passed on. Definitely write the letter/email. Thank them for their extra efforts. I’m sure it won’t be a factor for future kids. </p>
<p>By the time your freshman son applies, two and a half years will have passed. I doubt anyone will even think about your daughter’s decision to go elsewhere.</p>
<p>My second son had zero issues with schools his older brother turned town. Have the same choices and applied to 80% of schools his older brother did. And this was only one year apart. </p>
<p>I would have her write a lovely note to the admissions officer thanking him for his time and effort to end things on a gracious note. And my D got into two schools that my S turned down so it shouldn’t be an issue (she ended up turning the schools down as well). </p>
<p>I appreciate this thread, because I have the same question! My oldest turned down an honors program and full-tuition scholarship at a small school that I really liked. I don’t think his younger sister would get as much money, but I would love for her to go there. It’s good to hear I don’t need to worry about her chances.</p>
<p>If it’s a big university I wouldn’t be concerned. IF she went back to the well and asked for more money, got it and now she’s turned it down I agree that thanking the person who went to bat for her is absolutely called for. This would be even more important if it’s a smaller school your #2 has it in their sights and as you say, you have an unusual name - a big uni no one will remember in 4 years.</p>
<p>Sending a thank you note is NEVER a bad idea.
1- your D may end up hating where she enrolls, and having a good relationship with the “turned down school” may turn out to be a great Plan B. We have all read so many sad posts of kids who end up at first choice college and are miserable by Christmas. How nice if your D has a backup plan (don’t tell her that.)
2- Admissions officers change schools all the time. Spread some good will with an unusual last name, regardless of where your younger child applies.
3- Huge teachable moment. When someone goes out of their way to help you- it’s nice to acknowledge it. I hire people for a living, and you’d be shocked by the number of times I’ve dug back into a database to retrieve an old resume of a candidate who got turned down for a job three years ago but who might be perfect for a need we have right now. I don’t bother to remember the names of the vast majority- but a candidate who writes a gracious note always gets a notation. I’ve gone out of my way to help candidates and barely got a nod when they passed me in the hallway during their final interview day- I’ve gotten nice notes from candidates saying that although they didn’t get hired (or turned the job down, probably a more frequent occurance) and I remember those.</p>
<p>I can’t imagine that admission officer would even remember… but a thank you note never hurts. </p>
<p>4 The important thing is that she officially declines in a timely fashion so that other deserving students have the opportunity for the unspent funds well before May 1 decision deadlines. </p>