<p>I made the assumption based on experience (and also to put it out there waiting for others to either confirm or dispute). Maybe they only take so many kids from certain locations. In our area, it seems like getting into Ivy (at least some Ivy) is not such a big deal whereas getting into AE seems a lot more difficult.</p>
<p>Full disclosure here: After graduating from SPS I attended an “Ivy equivalent” college. I do not have an “elite” job now but I feel that my career embodies the best of what I learned at SPS. I’m in public service doing fascinating, challenging work that requires excellent communication skills, balanced critical thinking, and the ability to understand and apply technical knowledge. I very much attribute this and other fulfilling aspects of my life to my BS education. The fact that I ended up in a selective college is way down on the list of what I value about my BS experience.</p>
<p>As for whether I would send my DD to SPS if I knew she would end up a the “infamous” BU afterwards - hell yes! </p>
<p>So, as SevenDad put it, I’m firmly in the “BS as an end in itself” camp.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>If I “know” for sure, to be honest, I’d be in doubt and hesitant to send DC to AE. But the fact is, I don’t know. For now, it’s a possibility that I’m willing to accept. DC is competitive and I don’t think DC will be happy at BU (no disrespect to BU or any other colleges at the similar levels). But who knows after four years? I’d be happy to see DC follow heart. </p>
<p>I’m willing to spend $$$ and separate from DC because of my concern over the quality of education for next four years, not over the quality of education four years after from now. If stays home, DC is on track to become a valedictorian and have a serious shot at HYP (sounds funny). But I can’t insist upon four more years of extreme boredom and mental torture. So, if your kid is happy at the current school and will have a great shot at Ivy, I’m not sure why you and your kid are looking for anywhere else.</p>
<p>Well said, SharingGift. I am from the BS is an end in itself camp. </p>
<p>DD is thriving at BS, in a way that was simply not possible locally ~ even at the most selective private school in the area. I think some kids genuinely crave the challenges, academic and personal, that BS affords them. Seems like BS has awakened a whole new series of DD’s axons and dendrites previously dormant.</p>
<p>BS was the right thing for her at this age. That’s all it is to us. She is savoring every moment, and taking advantage of every unique opportunity and challenge BS provides. </p>
<p>My hope is that in a few years, she finds a university that is as good a fit as the BS she currently attends.</p>
<p>To your question of “What happened to these kids who otherwise should by Ivy bound if they had stayed at their old school?” Our daughter transferred from an independent school and chose PA as, amongst her alternatives, it ‘just felt right’. The process was driven by her because she wanted to be around kids like her, didn’t want to commute and loved all the academic alternatives. She went from being a top student to 75th percentile and, I suspect, that her realistic choice of colleges is down a notch. But, for us, that is a secondary consideration as she’s really happy socially and academically and is maturing really well. </p>
<p>So, what seems to be happening is that we have a happy kid, heading to a non-ivy, rather than an unhappy one which is ivy bound. We are really happy with her choice and she would do it again in a heartbeat.</p>
<p>Where is the like button?</p>
<p>You guys have no idea what you are missing at BU, they have the best dancing in Waco.</p>
<p>What is your final goal? An IVY for your son? Or do you want to provide a challenging environment for him? Which is more important to you and to your son?</p>
<p>If a good college is your final destination, dont send him to AE. He will do as good at current school. Perhaps he will have a better chance there than at AE. 200k is not a small money. </p>
<p>If you want him to enjoy challenges and make good friends and do not really care about goong to IVY, AE will do him good. </p>
<p>To me, BCs are more for lifetme experience than for college entrance.</p>
<p>As a parent, you want the best for your kid, in the end. So you look at the BS / college combination and as well as their impact on your kid in the long run. If your kid is motivated and competitive, then it should be equally important for him/her to be in a challenging environment at BS and in college. To say that the kid is happy now so whatever happens later is not important doesn’t make too much sense for me. We want them happy in the long run, not just now.</p>
<p>Would we send our D to Exeter again? Yes, without hesitation.</p>
<p>But it really depends on your kid, and some of it is hard to predict. Exeter is a challenging environment. You want your child to thrive, and hope for success and confidence. College matriculation stems from a good fit.</p>
<p>Things I would suggest contribute to success at Exeter:</p>
<p>1) They visit and love it. They visit again and love it more.
2) They like to work hard. They keep trying.
3) They are independent
4) They love to become immersed in learning.
5) They like to speak up in class.
6) They have a passion, something they are really good at, that they can cling to, because they will learn quickly that other students are better than they are at most other things.
7) They like teachers, work well with adults, and feel comfortable asking for help
8) They are in good health and if medical problems exist, they are pretty good at managing them independently
9) They get along well with other kids, are social, avoid drama, and steer clear of trouble pretty well.
10) They are generally resilient with adequate emotional reserves and have the basics of self-reliance down (laundry, eating, sleeping, time management).
11) you as a parent are willing to let them go (harder than it looks). </p>
<p>Any other BTDT suggestions from parents?</p>
<p>I’ll bite. DD graduated from PA this past June. Would we send her to PA again? Yes.</p>
<p>I’ll start by saying that we’re not a private school/boarding school family. I’ll add that we’ve done just about every education option there is: public school, GT magnet programs, homeschooling, early college classes…</p>
<p>Boarding school was DD’s idea. She was the driver in the process. She was in a top nationally ranked public IB high school, doing well, but she wanted more. More discussion. Less test driven learning. Peers who were passionate about the subjects they were learning, not just about getting good grades. She’s a fiercely independent and self-motivated kid who was just ready to “get out of dodge” and the traditional high school scene.</p>
<p>That said, she applied to boarding school with a calculating eye, only applying to schools with equal or better college matriculation results than her public high school which were a cultural fit. As a thread on the main board describes it, she chose to “go big or go home” and only applied to PA and PEA as a new upper. She was waitlisted at PEA, got into PA (7% admit rate, btw). The wild card in all of this was the financial piece. Thankfully…very thankfully… she was given very generous aid.</p>
<p>At PA she was able to dive into senior level electives right away because she had already done the prerequisites. Such a treat. Small classes, lively discussion, passionate and highly intelligent teachers. At PA, really for the first time, she was pushed to her absolute limits academically. In that crucible she finally “found her people” – the friends she’s made there will be her friends for life. For this kid, that’s huge.</p>
<p>When it came to college applications she took a similar go big or go home approach. Did she get into every Ivy that she applied to? No. But more importantly for her, she was accepted at the top university in the UK and is very happy there now. It’s the right fit. She strongly believes she would not have been a viable candidate had she stayed at her public IB magnet. Would her U.S. acceptances have been different? Perhaps slightly better. But it doesn’t matter, because she’s in the right place for her now. Looking back, there is no way she would choose her old high school. If anything, she wishes she had opted for PA earlier. </p>
<p>According to her, the top students at PA usually end up getting into at least one Ivy, and everyone finds a place where they’re happy. Not every kid wants to go an ivy. There are kids at PA who chose LACs even though they were Ivy legacies or possible development cases, who wanted art schools, who chose schools for financial or sports reasons. In her case, the college outcome was good–if it weren’t I’m sure she would have been disappointed. But PA is was much more than college outcome, and i can see the meaning and her attachment to her school and to her friends actually deepening having now that she’s left the school. It’s more important now, if that makes sense. </p>
<p>I guess that’s why they’ve been around for 235 years. They’re doing something right.</p>
<p>I have two at PA now, a boy and a girl. So far the answer is definitely yes. Unbelievable education. Keeping our fingers crossed though because of the academic pressure (And, college admissions are the last things we care about. After the education they’re getting college will take care of itself).</p>
<p>PS. BU is a wonderful school. I went there decades ago (after boarding school). Maybe you don’t know much about BU.</p>
<p>Thanks for “biting”, winker425. I started this thread with an obvious intention to bring out those who started where you were but ended up having second thoughts. Everything you say make sense to me and I have every reason to believe S will benefit as much as your D did. I believe what your D experienced is exactly what he is looking for, otherwise he wouldn’t be applying to AE, given that his current day school send 25% to Ivy or equivalent. Human nature, however, tends to make us hide behind rationalization even if we did make mistakes and I view it as my job as a parent to see the the downside too. I am not having too much success here apparently. Things can’t be all rosy otherwise I wouldn’t see so many kids end up going to colleges there was no way they would choose before EA. But it is what it is. In the end you just have to look at your kid and ask yourself whether he/she will thrive in an environment a lot tougher than they imagined. Thanks for sharing again.</p>
<p>My sense as a parent is that there are several reasons why some of those formerly Ivy-driven kids go elsewhere.</p>
<p>They are taught by teachers that have gone to many first-rate colleges–not just Ivies but excellent LAC’s as well, which broadens their vision of top colleges. In assembly and other programs at school, they are introduced to incredibly successful adults who graduated from or lead some of those other colleges.</p>
<p>They’ve become used to small classes, actively involved peers, and close relationships to faculty, and–for example-- Harvard’s lecture classes (even if taught by Professor Everybody-Knows-His-Name) with discussion sections led by grad. students begin to have less appeal than a college where smaller classes taught by professors are the norm from the beginning. </p>
<p>They’ve already had the experience of being accepted by a dream school–so the drive to win the game maybe isn’t as strong.</p>
<p>College counselors know and can steer kids to many great schools that fit who they actually are. Matriculation lists don’t show things like the great research project or honors college that might entice a kid to a “lesser” school. </p>
<p>This is not to say that lots of prep school kids don’t have Ivies on their wish lists–just that they have lots of other good options too.</p>
<p>I can’t believe I’m wasting my time biting CounterPoint’s bait again, but just in case someone might blindly believe that that 70/30 stat has some basis in reality, here’s Exeter’s college matriculation stats.</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.exeter.edu/documents/2013_Profile_for_Colleges(1).pdf[/url]”>http://www.exeter.edu/documents/2013_Profile_for_Colleges(1).pdf</a></p>
<p>Just doing a rough count, I found the total number of students matriculating at what most of us would probably consider non-top tier schools roughly equal to the number matriculating to Ivies. That’s just Ivies, not including MIT, Stanford, Williams, Haverford, and the like–I stopped counting, but that number is well above the number attending either Ivy League or lower tier. So, conservatively, reverse that 70/30 ratio.</p>
<p>What I find most useful is noting the schools where multiple students matriculate. My guess is that the one student who went to a community college or to Indiana or Iowa University had a unique reason for doing so (scholarship, family issues, etc.). I would never assume that those schools are the dumping grounds for the bottom half of the class.</p>
<p>ProsParent,</p>
<p>Your child attends an excellent day school where “25 percent” of the senior class matriculates to the “Ivies or equivalent” schools. Hence, you correctly seek to balance the benefits and detriments of attending Andover or Exeter. I agree that Andover and Exeter provide remarkable advantages to their respective students. However, I also believe in the “if it’s not broken, don’t fix it” rule. So, I will play the Devil’s Advocate by suggesting some factors you might want to consider. </p>
<p>If your child is a top student at his current school and does well on the SAT (2250+), there is a good chance he will be Ivy bound if he otherwise has all the indicia of an elite college applicant. However, if your child attends Andover or Exeter, his class rank may considerably suffer. If it does, his chances of getting accepted to an elite university may plummet as well. Not surprisingly, this may result in considerable consternation if students he academically outperformed at his old school get into more prestigious colleges than he does as a student at Andover or Exeter. </p>
<p>People argue that prep school should be regarded as a good in itself. I view things differently. For me, prep school is a good means that helps students achieve beneficial ends, one of which is getting into college. However, even if prep school should be valued as a good in itself, this argument would logically extend to college as well. Hence, attending Andover or Exeter may entail a Hobson’s choice where selecting the intrinsic good of an elite prep school means potentially sacrificing the equally, if not more important, intrinsic good of attending an elite college. Moreover, the same desire for excellence that motivates you and your child to consider Andover and Exeter now may also powerfully attract you to an elite college when he is a senior. And if it does, arguments about the intrinsic good of prep school may be of scant solace to you then. </p>
<p>Of course, your child may attend Andover or Exeter, graduate in the top 5 percent of his class, and get accepted EA to Yale in December and then receive an early admit letter from Harvard in February. Then again, he may study six hours a day and graduate in the bottom 50 percent of his class only to discover that all his hard work, sleep deprivation, and academic stress did not pay off in an acceptance to a top 15 university or a top 5 liberal arts college. If that occurs, both you and your child may find yourself second-guessing the decision to attend Andover or Exeter. </p>
<p>Most students prosper and immeasurably grow from their experiences at Andover or Exeter notwithstanding these risks. But there is no point in pretending these downsides don’t exist. Most kids willingly accept them. But they often have a compelling reason to do so because Andover, Exeter, etc. can provide the benefit of small classes, excellent teachers, outstanding students, and expansive extra curricular opportunities they would never otherwise receive in their public high school. In your case, these attributes may be less compelling since the college matriculation success of your child’s day school suggests that it offers benefits similar in kind, if not perhaps degree, to those Andover and Exeter provide. </p>
<p>Only you and your child can weigh these risks and rewards. However, if the risks of attending Andover or Exeter exceed these rewards, you might consider applying the “if it’s not broken, don’t fix it rule.”</p>
<p>Many people referred to BU… does this mean Boston University? or something else?
Patronyokr said “To me, BCs are more for lifetime experience than for college entrance.”</p>
<p>What are BCs?
What is BU?</p>
<p>Thumbs up, jmilton!</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Oh for goodness sakes. Honestly. Some of those students who “get” into a top school don’t always stay. People never seem to look at “retention” rate. Also - students who are “tops” at their local schools might be that way because the standards are more relaxed than at a boarding school (no matter how hard you think kiddo is working at home). It just depends.</p>
<p>People who use boarding school as a stepping stone are deluded and the lower acceptance rates compared to years ago might be a reflection of the “wrong” type of families applying to BS for that purpose. You can smell the intent from miles away. I don’t mean to sound cruel - every family must choose their paths based on their own needs. But the “I want to use BS as an IVY stepping stone” mantra, and the “If you don’t get into an IVY then you’re a failure because you went to a lower tier school” is so wrought with inaccuracies I’m stymied as to even where to start in debunking.</p>
<p>It should occur to some IVY wannabe’s that if a student’s parents have bought the farm and delayed other investments (retirement, home rehab, food 
) to help pay for boarding school, then a $50,000 annual bill at an IVY compared to a full-ride at another school with a strong alumni base can enter into the equation. My daughter has a first choice college. I spoke to parents who have children at the second and third choice schools who noted that their children TURNED DOWN college #1 because the other two provided more aid and the family was looking at a lower total debt at the end of the four years.</p>
<p>Likewise - IVY’s are not ubiquitous in what they offer for course selection and alumni networking. Looking at who is heading most major multi-national corporations, or working in the political sphere suggests that there is a broader range than what is coveted by IVY seeking parents. </p>
<p>And if you get into an IVY so what? Doesn’t mean that once on campus you’re in “the club.” OR that you’ll be able to keep up. OR that you’ll fare any better for the title than if you went to Ole Miss for instance.</p>
<p>So I go back to the sentiment many of us express here. If you’re looking for an IVY feeder, stay home. BS is a poor investment. If you’re looking for a great alumni network, and educational/social opportunities you can’t get at home, you can’t beat the value.</p>
<p>Please - if you’re desperate for an IVY guarantee, or you’re just an overall snob about one college being better than another (or PA and PEA being better than another) - stay home and let some other family who see’s the process more holistically have one of the limited BS spots available. Those families make for a much more enjoyable campus atmosphere - for the other parents and for the staff.</p>
<p>+1 ExieMit</p>