Hey guys, I am trying to improve the writing and need your advice. You may grade it and I accept suggestions on any aspect. Thanks beforehand.
Assignment: Is persistence more important than ability in determining a person’s success?
My Essay:
Many people may think that talent and ability play the most important role in determining one’s success because one starts with better than others. However, such congenital advantages do not guarantee success because persistence finally dominates: With persistence , one can overcome obstacles on one’s way, while without such strong determination, one will simply give up. As Marie Curie’s discovery of Polonium and Sal Khan’s establishment of Khan Academy demonstrates, persistence is more important in determining a person’s success.
One encouraging example is Marie Curie’s discovery of a new element, during which her persistence helped her to finish the large amount of work. Marie Curie collaborated with her husband to discover elements that are more radioactive than Uranium. They went through tons of ore in order to isolate only several grams of Polonium. After she lost her husband, Marie Curie had to finish the burdensome work all by herself. Finally, after 3 years of effort, she succeeded in isolating Polonium and that discovery owned her a Nobel Prize and benefited largely to the study of radioactivity. Facing with such heavy workload, Marie clung to her goal, and, although she had no knowledge in radioactivity before, she worked through such pressure. Had she not persisted during the process, she would not have succeeded in her discovery. In conclusion, persistence determined Marie’s success by helping her work through huge amount of work.
Another example from Sal Khan also illustrates the importance of persistence, in which he applied persistence to oversome financial problems and accomplish his goal. Sal Khan, set his goal of developing a website that provides free education to anyone anywhere. Shortly after he started his non-profit website, he encountered financial problem. He could not afford the fee to run the website and the fee to raise his daughter at the same time, but, luckily, he chose to persist his work and made education videos everyday. He later got funded by Bill Gates and now succeeded in building his website and benefited large number of children in underprivileged areas by offering them free online education. Sal Khan persisted when he faced obstacles, and such persistence paid off by attracting more viewers to his website, and thus caught Bill Gate’s attention. Had he not persisted, he would have not established such a great website and he could not reach his dream. Therefore, persistence facilitated Sal Khan’s success because his persistence helped him overcome financial problem and reached his dream.
Finally, we have to admit that persistence is more important than ability in determining one’s success because it can facilitate one work through heavy work load and help individuals overcome obstacles and thus succeed. Marie Curie’s use of persistence and Sal Khan’s strong determination both lead them to success; they remind us the importance of applying persistence to everyday life.