<p>On the other hand, I know a family. Their daughter was competing for a highly prestigious full ride scholarship to a very, very good school. Meanwhile, she got an EA acceptance from an outstanding school - actually, overall considered a cut above from the one she was competing for a full ride for. She may have actually gotten the full ride offer: she was placed as the first in her regional competition going in to the final selection process (her region is very competitive to begin with). But, when the family decided to pay full freight for the EA school (they did not qualify for FA for this expensive private school), she withdrew from her scholarship competition. The family reason? This was going to be worth $50K for another candidate who really wants and needs it, and it’s the right thing to do to let the others to have a better shot at it. </p>
<p>Note that EA is not ED. She had no obligation to withdraw her application from anything. Yet, the family encouraged her to do so so that others might have a better shot at it. Now, supposing she got the full ride offer (very high probability), that would have been one hell of a bragging right. </p>
<p>Thanks for that post. Great to hear and thanks for sharing!</p>
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<p>This strikes me as being ‘below the belt.’ Let’s keep to the issue at hand. </p>
<p>Clearly as other posters have made clear, staying on as a viable applicant when you are not one is going to cost another child and his/her loved ones a very bad day. There is too much money involved for a college not to manage their ‘bed count’ quite closely. It’s fine to rationalize that when a kid finally does withdraw his or her application, that another kid will be chosen at that time. The facts are that some kids might lose the love for a college that’s puts them on a waiting list or make them feel they are second class citizens to those that were already admitted. Some may decline a waiting list when they should have never been on that list to begin with if others play nice in the sand box.</p>
<p>And she has several friends (and her BF) at a prestigious private hs that tends to look down its nose at our public, and some kids she knows from those schools applied to some of her other schools, so she just wanted to know how she stacked up.</p>
<p>First congrats…</p>
<p>However, if your D really wanted to know this info, she shouldn’t have applied ED.</p>
<p>*The only place the college mentioned withdrawing other applications was on their ED agreement on the app itself. It wasn’t in the page of instructions that came with the acceptance.
*</p>
<p>Since WHEN did a point of a contract need to be mentioned more than once!!!???</p>
<p>Geez people! 22 responses in 2 hours - I really hit a nerve!</p>
<p>Biohelpmom, D is NOT going to change her mind. I wouldn’t allow it anyway, she applied ED. </p>
<p>Northstarmom, by a “shame” I meant that a lot of work went into the other apps (not to mention app fees $$$ - although I knew it was a possibility when we sent the money that it was a waste). D is thrilled with Dream school, and in the scheme of things we’d take this result every day and twice on Sundays, rather than being deferred and needing to hear from the other schools. So you’re right, it’s not a shame at all!</p>
<p>I talked to D and her apps will be withdrawn via email this evening. </p>
<p>However, you might all find it interesting that I happened to run into the head of our guidance office after school. I told her D and I were arguing over whether or not to withdraw the other applications, and the head of guidance shrugged, “It doesn’t really matter.” I asked if the ED school would find out, and she shook her head. </p>
<p>I also still find it interesting that ED school sent a full page of instructions with the application called “Early Decision Applicants - Things to be done NOW!” which included “successfully complete your senior year” and sending a final end-of-year transcript, and it made no mention of withdrawing other apps.</p>
<p>But be that as it may, for the sake of those who are still anxiously awaiting word from the other colleges (including several of D’s friends) and because the original ED agreement she signed said she would withdraw the other applications, they will be withdrawn tonight. So if her friends don’t get into the other schools, they can’t blame D for taking their spots!</p>
<p>"However, you might all find it interesting that I happened to run into the head of our guidance office after school. I told her D and I were arguing over whether or not to withdraw the other applications, and the head of guidance shrugged, “It doesn’t really matter.” I asked if the ED school would find out, and she shook her head. "</p>
<p>I think your GC doesn’t know what she’s talking about. I’ve seen many posts here on CC about this, and it has been very clear that students have lost ED admissions due to leaving applications out. Keep in mind that when students don’t withdraw applications, they may change their mind about what school they wish to attend particularly if they get unexpected merit aid from one of the RD schools.</p>
<p>My sons’ former GC told about how a student didn’t withdraw RD applications after an ED acceptance that the student didn’t let the GC know about. Then, the student accepted a RD school. The ED school learned about this and called up the GC and blamed the GC. For at least several years, the ED school also turned down all students from that high school.</p>
<p>Here’s one other thing: it’s probably better not to know how she would have done at the other schools. Knowing could cause her to second-guess her decision to apply ED to the dream school.</p>
<p>Again, D is NOT going to accept an RD school, she never even considered it. She just wanted to wait a few weeks before notifying the other schools (they were all EA and should be notifying her fairly soon anyway). But they have all been withdrawn now.</p>
<p>Your guidance counselor is mistaken. As NSM notes, failure to withdraw the RD apps can cause problems for the high school and future applicants from the high school. My kids’ private school is all over students to promptly withdraw RD applications, and even provides pre-printed post cards for the students to make sure it is done (although an email would work as well).</p>
<p>Now that she’s done the right thing, I just want to say that I understand the curiosity factor. My son withdrew all his apps after being accepted EA, and we still wonder what might have happened. But I’m convinced deep down that it’s better not to know.</p>
<p>Yes, I understand the curiosity factor, too. At the same time, I think it’s better not to know because having more acceptances may lead to temptations not to go to the ED school. As many of us have seen here on CC in April, when students have several acceptances, they usually have to think about which school to choose even when they thought they had a clear favorite. If merit money or something like where friends are going is put into the mix, students may choose very different school than they originally had planned.</p>
<p>Hunt and NSM you are right. Dream school is 700 miles away, and at some point the anxiety factor will set in. This way there can be no second guessing.</p>
<p>Anyway, congratulations on your D’s acceptance. I hope you have a nice celebration planned.</p>
<p>Do be aware that virtually everyone feels a tad of buyer’s remorse after selecting their college. It’s very normal, and IMO when our kids express that, it’s our cue to remind them with confidence about all of their excellent reasons for selecting that college, and in the case of ED students, how lucky it is that they can sail through the rest of senior year without having to worry about college acceptances.</p>
<p>This is one of those teachable moments for a parent. A promise is a promise, a signed contract is a signed contract. *** did its part, it offered her a spot, so now she does her part, she fulfills her end of the agreement. It is unethical to breach the agreement because you or she is curious and think no harm will be done if you or she get this curiosity sated. I cannot believe you raised your daughter to believe, well, just because we agreed to something doesn’t mean we have to do it. You can’t ignore her obligations by putting quote marks around the word signed. You should be careful; *** may have the right to consider the ED agreement voided by her refusal to withdraw her other applications and it might then withdraw its offer.</p>
<p>The quote marks were only because it was submitted electronically. That doesn’t change the significance of the agreement, just the way it was executed. </p>
<p>The emails were sent. Turns out part of D’s reluctance was that she just didn’t know how to do it - “What am I supposed to write?”</p>
<p>I think this is an unfair statement and the OP deserves the benefit of the doubt. Isn’t it possible that she was away from the computer while those 15 responses came in? Isn’t it possible she agreed with the majority after seeing the first post, but by the time she had a chance to read it, an hour had elapsed? I think you’re making a pretty big assumption that “it took 15 replies” to get her to see the right decision.</p>
<p>Correct me if I’m wrong, because it’s been a few years, but isn’t there a Common App ED agreement form that has to be signed by the student, counselor and parent? And doesn’t it state that you must promptly withdraw all other apps, and submit no other apps if accepted ED-- unless you are a FinAid candidate, in which case you can wait to withdraw until you are notified of your FA package.</p>
<p>If a parent and a counselor are signing this agreement shouldn’t they be abiding by it despite a student’s reluctance? And shouldn’t a GC have a record of ED candidates and make sure they have notification of decisions in order to proceed with the rest of the process? </p>
<p>A simple email to colleges stating “I have been accepted ED to “ED U” so, please withdraw my application” with perhaps an added message that your school is a fine institution, too and a thank you… is pretty easy to accomplish. Also, when a student decides where to matriculate after RD, isn’t it an accepted courtesy to send an email to the colleges that he/she is declining. It need only be an "I have decided to attend “Elsewhere U” and a thank you. This shouldn’t be so difficult once the decision has been made. Just my 2 cents.</p>
<p>This is not totally analogous, but there are always students to apply to many schools, including many if not all the ivies just to see how many they can get in. </p>
<p>I see the temptation, especially since the notification date is so close. Still, it is ethical to withdraw right now for reasons that have been mentioned. Not only because a contract is a contract but also because not withdrawing, if only out of curiosity rather than the wish to break the contract, has consequences for other students.</p>
<p>The ease of submitting multiple applications is partly responsible for the current frenzy. It is a vicious cycle. No one should contribute to making it even more vicious than it already is.</p>