<p>My D was accepted ED to her first choice school. She is thrilled. </p>
<p>The ED agreement she "signed" (electronically) said if accepted she would submit the deposit by Jan 10 - we have done that - and withdraw all other applications upon receipt of her acceptance to Dream U.</p>
<p>D definitely plans to attend Dream U. But she doesn't want to withdraw her other 4 apps, because she just wants to know if she would have gotten into those schools. She only had one true "safety," so I admit I'm curious as well (especially about the semi-reach school). She has multiple friends who have applied to her other schools, some from other high schools, and she just wants to see if she COULD have gotten into those collegees.</p>
<p>I have told her that she signed this agreement and should abide by it. We have discussed that other kids are hoping for spots at these other schools, although we both know all colleges over-admit because they know not everyone admitted will attend, so she's not really "taking someone else's spot." I have also mentioned how over-worked admissions committees are, but D responds that I paid the application fee for them to make a decision.</p>
<p>So.... is this worth fighting over? Should I enforce the point: "You signed that agreement. Now live up to it." Or after all the work and visiting colleges and agonizing over grades and tests and what to write on applications and paying application fees, should I just let her wait to hear whether she would have been accepted to the other 4 schools?</p>
<p>She must withdraw her applications to the other schools, as she agreed to do in the ED contract. By keeping her name “in the mix” at schools she has no intention of attending, it distorts the application pool and, yes, may hurt another student’s chances of admittance. It’s natural to be curious, but that’s the price you pay by applying ED. Not everyone is able to apply ED. Don’t ask “what if,” buy a college sweatshirt for a holiday gift, and don’t look back.</p>
<p>100% have her withdraw those applications. She has achieved her dream, now please allow the other kiddos out their have a chance for theirs by not filling a slot that will not be taking. I am a very curious person too and I understand that side, but it is dishonest not to withdraw them and it is a wonderful lesson for your daughter.</p>
<p>yes, it is unethical not to withdraw them, plus being against the ED rules she agreed to.</p>
<p>Yes, they over-admit, but if there’s a choice between two students from her school, and they only take one, and it’s her, this will have a direct effect on the other student.</p>
<p>If she was EA and curious, fine. Here, there is no gray area. Not withdrawing is simply wrong.</p>
<p>Contracts should not just be honored just when it is convenient. The school honored their side by extending her the offer. She needs to honor her side now. She must withdraw the applications.</p>
<p>As a practical matter, given her ED acceptance, I assume her high school will not send out her mid year reports to the other 4 schools, so her applications will never be complete for consideration.</p>
<p>But that’s not really relevant: she has made a commitment and should withdraw the other apps now.</p>
<p>“So… is this worth fighting over? Should I enforce the point: “You signed that agreement. Now live up to it.” Or after all the work and visiting colleges and agonizing over grades and tests and what to write on applications and paying application fees, should I just let her wait to hear whether she would have been accepted to the other 4 schools?”</p>
<p>If you believe in doing your best to rear your daughter with integrity, of course you would enforce the point. You wouldn’t consider doing differently.</p>
<p>" I assume her high school will not send out her mid year reports to the other 4 schools, so her applications will never be complete for consideration."</p>
<p>This only would be true if the D informs the h.s. that she was accepted ED.</p>
<p>This exact question came up recently on another thread and one parent brought up the point that he was under the impression that schools share information about which students were accepted ED for the very reason that they want to be sure students have honored their commitment to withdraw other applications.</p>
<p>This may not be true, by why would you even take the chance.</p>
<p>We were in the same situation we our DD… She got into her top choice ED but really wanted to know what Yale and Penn would have said. But tough luck, the agreement calls for withdrawal of other applications and that’s what she had to do. You Just can’t have it both ways. (But I sure understand wanting to know…)</p>
<p>Congratulations on your D’s Lafayette acceptance. </p>
<p>ED colleges actually do share their ED acceptance list with colleges that tend to share the same applicant pool.</p>
<p>You do realize that if Lafayette learns that your D hasn’t withdrawn her applications, Lafayette could withdraw her admission, and the other colleges also could reject her because she didn’t stand by her commitment to Lafayette?</p>
<p>The colleges could also blame your D’s GC for your D’s not upholding her commitment.</p>
<p>If she does not follow her portion of the agreement, her ED contract could become null and void and her ED school would have the right to rescind the admission. How would they find out? There are often ways this is done.</p>
<p>Above and beyond that, I find it more troubling that she would find it so easy to not live up to her part of the contract, perhaps because she thinks she can get away with it? Not a good precedent to start off her adult life with. I know in my household, there would never even be a question of what we would be doing. Not trying to be holier than thou, just my very strong opinion.</p>
<p>Absolutely she should withdraw, and the sooner the better. If she doesn’t, she’s violating her agreement with her ED school. In principle I suppose this means they could rescind the ED offer, as she’s breaching first. That seems unlikely, but it seems a morally shabby way to treat her “Dream U” even if the agreement is not enforced.</p>
<p>Second, it’s a morally shabby way to treat the other schools to which she’s applying. By keeping her applications in force even after signing a binding agreement to attend her ED school, she’s misrepresenting her status. She’s now no longer a genuine applicant, she’s a mere curiosity-seeker, wondering if she “could have been” admitted. But that’s not what their admissions process is for. It’s an abuse on her part. Sure, at the margins, what’s one application more or less when they get thousands? But what if everyone who’s accepted ED did what she’s doing? What if everyone who’s accepted EA or Rolling Admissions or even RD did what she’s proposing to do and played the “wonder if” game, declining to withdraw their applications after making binding commitments to attend other schools? It would wreak havoc on the college admissions process. That others are not as selfishly curiosity-seeking to do what she’s contemplating doesn’t excuse the behavior.</p>
<p>Third and perhaps most importantly, it really could be messing with some other kid’s life. The excuse that “she’s not really taking someone else’s spot” because “all colleges over-admit” just won’t fly. Colleges calculate their expected “yield” very carefully. If the school expects, say a 50% yield, they’ll accept exactly twice as many applicants as there are places in their target entering class. If she’s applying to Ivies, their yield may be significantly higher, approaching 80% in Harvard’s case. That means if she is accepted, it really could mean some other applicant who otherwise might have been the last one admitted gets placed instead on the waitlist, and may end up accepting somewhere other than their own Dream U before they ever get off Harvard’s waitlist—all because your D selfishly wanted to “see if she could have been accepted” at Harvard even though she has no intention of attending. That’s deeply unfair.</p>
<p>It is very, very, very wrong of her not to withdraw. This is a clear violation of the contract. Theoretically the ED school could withdraw their offer of acceptance even though I don’t think any school would actually expand the energy or ways to find out whether the applicant did or did not withdraw other applications. This is akin to one of those things that will get you fired if they want to fire you to begin with and start looking for excuses to fire you with a good cover story. You get my drift. </p>
<p>But, even without this, just on the ethical side, it is so wrong of her not to withdraw it. She is impacting her friends’ odds of getting acceptance from the other schools. It is not true that she is not taking somebody else’s spot. Even though colleges never openly admits it, they ALL want to balance the student body among diverse geographical regions, schools, etc. If she is a strong candidate, by admitting her, they are limiting the remaining spots for others from the same background - not necessarily, but possibly. It does not necessarily cause her friends to get rejected, but she is upping the odds of them getting rejected.</p>
<p>If I were you, if my daughter is still stubborn after all this discussion, I would call the other schools and withdraw her applications. I usually don’t intervene and make decisions for my kids or act on their behalf: I am the type to let them make mistakes and learn from them. However, I draw the line when it comes to their actions that harm OTHERS. If my child’s immature, selfish and childish behavior is harming others, she called for my action: it’s a justifiable intervention.</p>
<p>Northstarmom, D is not attending Lafayette. She didn’t even apply there. (S is a junior there and DH and I are alum, though). </p>
<p>I know for a fact that the other schools admit multiple kids from our school every year - there’s a large number of kids from our hs at two of these schools. We’re talking state flagships with at least 10,000 students each, not Ivys or small LACs.</p>
<p>And yes she did IMMEDIATELY tell her HS GC that she was accepted ED. They won’t send a midyear report to anyone unless D brings in the form and the envelope, and her ED school hasn’t even asked for one. </p>
<p>Dream U’s list of instructions that came with the acceptance told her to:
Pay her enrollment/housing fee. (done)
Ask for her early FA estimate (already done before we even had the acceptance)
Successfully complete her senior year
Send her end-of-year transcript, immunizations and health record by July 1. </p>
<p>The only place the college mentioned withdrawing other applications was on their ED agreement on the app itself. It wasn’t in the page of instructions that came with the acceptance.</p>
<p>But I know you guys are right, the apps need to be withdrawn. It’s just a shame after all that work. And she has several friends (and her BF) at a prestigious private hs that tends to look down its nose at our public, and some kids she knows from those schools applied to some of her other schools, so she just wanted to know how she stacked up.</p>
<p>But I will tell her she has to withdraw them, and if she wants me to do it for her I will.</p>
<p>It’s difficult for me to fathom that you are a parent, yet it took 15 replies from other parents to get you to see that your daughter should agree to uphold agreements in a document she signed. Eh, she’s curious.</p>
<p>:::shaking head:::</p>
<p>This is a wonderful opportunity for you to teach your daughter what the word integrity means, and when you weigh integrity against curiosity, integrity should win out. And if you don’t teach her that now, I hope you’ll let her future roommate know she should hide her diary and any other personal items. Eh, your daughter might be curious.</p>
<p>Congrats to your daughter on getting into her dream school! Agree with the others that you should be firm in telling her to let the other places know now, so that others can get into their dream schools as well.</p>
<p>"The only place the college mentioned withdrawing other applications was on their ED agreement on the app itself. It wasn’t in the page of instructions that came with the acceptance.</p>
<p>But I know you guys are right, the apps need to be withdrawn. It’s just a shame after all that work."</p>
<p>Why is it “a shame”? She is withdrawing apps because she got into her dream school. If she had been deferred or rejected by her dream school, that would have been worse. If finding how what schools would accept her was tops on her list of things to accomplish senior year, she should have applied RD.</p>
<p>I actually know a kid whose life was changed by doing this. Wealthy, prominent, big donor family. Accepted ED to a prestigious LAC in New England and was accepted. Kept in applications to HYP “just to see what would happen.” and was accepted. Tried to get out of the LAC and go to HYP. Phone calls were made, ugly meetings happened, and ALL acceptances were rescinded. Kid is now studying a a university overseas, and I feel bad for him, because it was the unethical adults in his life who guaranteed the outcome.</p>