Also? It feels as though this thread as devolved into a place to boast about one’s excellent dietary choices. Not surprising as these conversations happen all the time, everywhere. No wonder women will never not be obsessed with weight.
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I’m not reading it as “boasting.” Someone asked about how people defined “processed foods” and a bunch of us answered. Yes, some are sharing that food isn’t important to them, and others that it’s very central. I don’t think anyone is saying people are right or wrong.
FWIW, I’ve had an ongoing struggle with my weight since I was a kid. I’m back down to a normal BMI (again) but it’s a constant struggle/effort. My spouse is rail thin, eats whatever he wants and doesn’t gain anything. He actually lost 5 pounds on MY diet, doing nothing but not having a someone to share wine with in the evenings. That said, I’ve also been much healthier than him on all blood test measures, even when I was at my highest weight. But, I struggle with a lot of body issues and the original post really resonated with me as I’ve been on both sides of that conversation.
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Definitely the thread has wandered and definitely several posters have tried to bring it back to the OP.
But think about it. The OP was put in a situation where her appropriate weight was brought up as a topic of comment/conversation. If someone draws attention to her/her weight doesn’t she have the right - if she chooses - to say it’s because she chooses healthy habits like food choices, or exercise choices, or whatever? If she chooses to share why she’s of appropriate weight is she bragging?
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My issue isn’t with the OP, who was put on the spot. I’m just seeing this thread as a microcosm of our society that implicitly and explicitly assigns virtue to diet and lifestyle choices, and leads so many to feel a drive toward “competitive healthiness”. It is tiring and, IMO, harmful to so many who struggle with body acceptance.
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Apologies for drifting off topic slightly again, but my wife is not from the US and we lived overseas for many years. Since coming to the US (and continuing to travel domestically and internationally) we often discuss why we have such a problem with excess weight.
We recently traveled to Europe and used buses and trains quite a bit during our trip and one thing we noticed was how seldom anyone snacks. When you travel anywhere in the US it seems everyone is always chewing on something whether it be in the airport waiting area, on the plane, in the car, etc. It seems other countries have not yet developed the habit of constant chewing.
When our son played soccer there was always the sign-up sheet to make sure the kids had orange slices or something to eat during half time…also had to drink gatorade etc…I think in the US the softdrinks, constant snacking and processed foods along with a sedentary lifestyle are the reasons we are so heavy.
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This resonates with me too. That struggle with body acceptance and “competitive healthiness.”
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But a large fraction of people in the USA are unhealthily overweight. What do you recommend as the right way to guide them towards becoming more healthy?
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I don’t see it as my role to guide anyone (other than my children), honestly. Other than generic “eat less and move more” guidance, I’m not sure that what works for one will necessarily work for another. I have friends who go on endlessly about their dietary and exercise lifestyle religions of choice (vegan! paleo! intermittent fasting! Peloton!..and so on). There does tend to be a competitive undertone to it (intentional, or not).
If someone were to put me on the spot about how I maintain my weight, I really don’t know what I would say…I have no idea if I’m just genetically lucky (probably, as I favor the side of my family who are all thin) or the fact that many of the hobbies I enjoy involve physical activity play into it. Most recently, the fact that my GI system is falling apart and I spend more time than I’d like on the toilet is a big contributor. I’m certainly not going to recommend that.
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Not my role either, but it is society’s role to guide people towards healthy living because society as a whole pays for the costs of unhealthy living (of which obesity is just one of many issues). I don’t claim to have any answers; I was just asking if others did.
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Imo it’s a health discussion that needs to happen at the doctor’s office.
Unless explicitly asked, I’m not giving any unsolicited advice.
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Thank you to those of you who agree that this thread has gone off topic in a predictable way.
There is a place to discuss healthy eating habits. I don’t think it’s in a thread where the original issue was why women so often put themselves down because of their weight and what to say when they do.
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Not by guiding them, anyway. The desire to change to healthier lifestyle choices has to come from within. People like OP’s friends are completely aware that their behavior is causing whatever weight issues they struggle with. One of them mentioned not having the will power to control eating. People like that are educated and aware enough.
You can inspire others toward healthier choices, however. That happened to me here with the Weight Loss for Dummies thread. I thought nothing I could do would help because there were some foods and habits I knew I couldn’t or wouldn’t change. The positive reinforcement on that thread inspired me to make choices that boiled down to: eat less and exercise more. And eating less was about self control and portion control.
If at that time, the thread had been filled (as it was later) with posts about all the ideal foods and exercise health devotees were practicing, and that other choices weren’t good enough, I might have given up. I would have thought, no way can I do that, so why even try.
Cliche #1: you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. Unless it’s thirsty.
Cliche #2: the light bulb has to want to change.
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Unfortunately, competitive healthiness, obsessive exercise regimes, and strict diet rules can be indications of the same kind of disordered relationships with food and weight. Of course, it absolutely doesn’t have to be and for so many people it isn’t so please don’t think I’m saying anyone posting here falls into that category. But, this thread was originally about why women’s self esteem is so often related to their weight.
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I had to google this term, “competitive healthiness.” I wasn’t sure what it meant. My google search only gave me answers related to “Is competition healthy?” It sounds like a term invented by someone who’s sedentary and not healthy.
Whatever it means, it’s not translating very well to us as a society, because we’re more obese and obesity, besides its direct relationship to our health, contributes to climate change and the Earth becoming hotter and weather becoming more severe.
Oh, and then there’s the increased cost of healthcare that we all complain about in the retirement thread.
Does society play a role in our environment? The more we eat, the more plastic ends up in the ocean, the more cows fart (
) and the more garbage ends up in the landfill, etc. In another thread, posters are complaining about the shortage and increasing cost of bacon. Really? 
^^^I agree with sentiment. But, yes, back to the OP!
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This assumption is problematic. It’s like saying the term “eating disorder” was invented by someone who is fat.
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No, not IMO. Can you find me a medical study on “competitive healthiness”? I know I can find thousands of them for “eating disorder.”
Please define “competitive healthiness.” As I said, I googled it and there was nothing related to this terminology. I think most people try to improve their health, so that they don’t have problems getting out of chair and to spend less time in their doctor’s office.
That’s me, I made it up. It is my way of describing what I see happening. Not that it matters, but I am neither sedentary, nor terribly unhealthy.
In the same way that people can’t help themselves for smugly describing so many things in life (the state of their finances, the brand name schools their children attend), so, too, does there seem to be a trend toward one-upmanship with regard to what they are doing to manage their fitness/weight.
Is it translating throughout society? Certainly in the pockets where people have the time, energy and headspace (absent other pressing issues) to focus on it, it is. Where I live (well-off East Coast suburbs) it is translating. YMMV.
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Again, as I mentioned up thread, “skinny” and “fat” are meaningless, at least to me.
What’s important is your health. You can be overweight and healthy and you can be skinny and unhealthy. Body fat %, bone density, blood pressure, cholesterol, pulse oximeter reading, etc. are better measurements of one’s health.
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There’s ego in all facets of life. Is there ego involved at the dinner table with friends and/or relatives? When friends and relatives get together, we talk about a lot of things, usually politics, our children, home improvements, cars (with car buddies), etc. I don’t remember any conversations about one-upping anyone in terms of health and fitness. At least around me.