are you male or female? I’m guessing male…
Here’s what it is often like for females:
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Ok, then, it’s like saying that the term “eating disorder” was invented by someone who is physically unhealthy.
I feel like we are talking past each other.
I grew up hearing my mother talk about how fat she was, listening to my friends talk about thigh gaps and judging whether they were “good” or “bad” that day based on how much or what they ate. I worked with a girl one summer who ate nothing but carrots because she read it was a good way to lose weight. I can’t tell you the number of people I’ve known in my life who had or have eating disorders.
So many of us have struggled with disordered eating and obsessive exercising, starvation diets, lists of foods that we can or can’t/should or shouldn’t eat, feeling bad about ourselves because we had a piece of cake or our our waist isn’t small enough, thighs are too big, butt is to big (or not big enough).
Of course the answer is developing healthy food and exercise habits, but it’s not that easy for a lot of people because the unhealthy habits and the unhealthy relationship with food and the unhealthy and unrealistic beauty standards are powerful forces. Not to mention that when you look at some of those “healthy” food and exercise regimes, they end up not being all that “healthy,” especially when they are taken to the extreme.
*I have two daughters and I have made it a point to NEVER comment on my own weight in front of them.
Yes, I’m male. And I don’t read articles on the Internet about diet and exercise. For me, most, if not all, are completely useless and are posted for clicks. Everyone has an opinion and I choose not to read them.
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I linked the articles because they do a good job of describing what I see all around me in my everyday life. The articles themselves are not informing my opinion of my experience, just representing it well.
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What do you see around you? My surroundings are obviously different.
well, I tried to tell you and you didn’t recognize a term I used, couldn’t google it and discarded the notion. I then linked you articles that might help you understand and you indicated you won’t read them. So…I give up? If you’d like to continue the conversation we can take it to PM.
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Again, our life experiences are different. Growing up, no one spoke about their weight or dieting in my family. I also have two daughters and a spouse and I can’t remember ever having discussions about weight.
I discovered that the term “competitive healthiness” is a made-up term. That’s really all I wanted to find out here. I don’t know what else to tell you other than if you don’t like your surroundings, then change them.
Sorry, I don’t have time to read multiple articles to understand an anonymous person on the Internet. But I’m moving on from this discussion about “competitive healthiness.” It just doesn’t exist in my world.
It is rare person who has never experienced, seen, or even been aware of the powerful pressures to be thin. Consider yourself very lucky.
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@DeeCee36 I’m going to add the phrase “competitive healthiness” to my repertoire. You offer a perfect description of the women I know who are smug in their gentle reminders to eat clean, only organic, wellness….
If you live in an area where nearly everything is a competition, it’s only natural to include health!
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I understood right away the meaning of “competitive healthiness.” I would just add that it isn’t just a description of women, as we’ve seen from posts on this thread.
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I totally understand the phrase “competitive healthiness.”
I also think that the tangents this thread has taken are at the root of OP’s question, because all these msgs, stated or subliminal, feed into the friend’s self-image and contribute to why she commented on OP.
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Again, I repeat, thin isn’t necessarily healthy and overweight isn’t necessarily unhealthy. 
Rare? Nope. I disagree. It’s all about the environment in which you place yourself in. To wit…
Having just competed at a powerlifting meet this past weekend, I saw ZERO pressure there to be “thin.” 180 degrees. “Bulking up” means more weight one can push and pull on a barbell.
All my comments on health and I get an ad for “oil changes” or something along those lines. Interesting.
Might I remind members of the forum rules: “College Confidential forums exist to discuss college admission and other topics of interest. It is not a place for contentious debate. If you find yourself repeating talking points, it might be time to step away and do something else… If a thread starts to get heated, it might be closed or heavily moderated.”
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Thankfully nobody comments when I have my “baby beers” at happy hour. (Hubby gets me the smallest size possible, sometimes even it is taster size.) It’s just my way to have a variety of beers instead of one big, ever-warmer glass when other others opt to have a few big portions.
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They don’t get warm if you drink quickly 
Oh, boy, I experienced some smugness related to eating habits last night! Dh and I go to a run group one night a week. It’s a social thing (even though there are some super serious runners) where everyone kinda runs as far as they want and then goes out for pizza, wings, and beer. One of the guys who regularly attends brought a date/girlfriend for the first time. Oh. My. Word. Very opinionated and stating that we should only be eating plants and fermented foods and how she fasts 21 hours a day and only eats during a three-hour window, etc. Basically, just lecturing on how her way was the right way. No one asked - this just all came up as she was trying to find something on the menu to eat. Lol!
She would be one who could be labeled, “competitively healthy” for sure. Very much the one-upping thing and this is the one and only way to eat/live.
As one friend said to me one time, “You’re never useless if you can serve as a bad example.”
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I’ve learned a lot lately about the societal values of thinness tied to larger systems that keep women in their place. And yes, I’ve thought a bit about how munch mental real estate goes to thinking about not gaining weight - and what could be done with all that extra time! 
I feel like the younger generation is less susceptible to this - I think it’s tied to throwing off patriarchial ideals in so many other realms. Maybe our daughters won’t have to worry about this thread topic b/c they won’t be self-castigating!
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My favorite thing to say to people who people do bang on about fasting is “I fast too. Every single night from 10:30 pm to 6:30am”. We all literally already fast every single day. 
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@Hoggirl (rhetorical) where do you find these people? 
So, this female is sitting down having some “tofu and veggies” while everyone else is eating pizza and wings and having beers?
I hope she at least participated in the run. I would have loved to have been there. 
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