<p>I live in Maryland and am applying to USNA, USAFA, and USMA. My mom seems to be very against me going so far away to the AFA, but she also wants me to do what I want to do. I really like the AFA, but I like the NA and MA just as much really. Basically, I don't have a first choice because I just can't decide which of the three I like best. So if I get accepted to AFA, there is a decent chance I'll want to go there. And if that is the only one I get accepted to, I will definitely go there. Any advice for me or my mom, who I think would be extrememly upset if I go to colorado? We haven't been able to make a visit out there yet, so I think maybe that will help a little bit, but I dont know..</p>
<p>Welcome to the forums.....it a great place to ask questions and get input from a variety of people. Encourage your mom to post questions also!!!!</p>
<p>Hopefully, one or both or you realize that if you do attend and graduate from any of the Academies, you are eventually going to travel and/or live in places you might never have even heard of. In that case Maryland might not seem that far from Colorado.</p>
<p>Also good to search back on prior postings since many of the questions you or your mom has might already have been discussed in the past.</p>
<p>Has she stated that distance is the only reason? Are you the first one out of the nest or the baby? Is it the expense of travelling to see you/have you home on leave?</p>
<p>My son (my oldest) wanted USNA since he was 13. I resigned myself to the fact he would be 2000+ miles away (we're on the west coast). I kept at myself with the "What if he gets sick? What if he gets hurt? What if? What if?" Well, lo and behold, third day into plebe summer, I get a phone call from the emergency room at Anne Arundel Medical Center asking for permission to treat my son (he was still 17 at the time). Well, there was the one of the "what if's" right there. I was so far away and I couldn't do anything for my son except give them permission to treat him (he is fine, by the way), and trust that the Navy would take care of him.</p>
<p>They did. He had the best cadre looking out for him and every promise she made in regard to calling me and letting me know how he was doing, she kept. They took excellent care of him. </p>
<p>I also had another quandry about putting him in harm's way. He's an adult now. There is nothing I can do, except pray. I am aware of and respect his reasons for wanting to serve his country. </p>
<p>Being the first out of the nest was difficult for my son. He knew how hard it would be for me to let go (I'm still in the process). Now I have my youngest son making noises about "academies." Oh boy.</p>
<p>I am now in the process of finding affordable tickets for my son to come home for Thanksgiving from MD to CA. My credit card is shaking at the thought!</p>
<p>Understand that she loves you and all of us moms (dads, too) want to keep our children near. It's hard to let you guys go out on your own. She will support you (plus, you don't know which one you're going to, yet). Give her time. This is a big unknown and a big adjustment for her and for your whole family.</p>
<p>Best of luck and keep us informed of what happens with the SA choice!</p>
<p>Time2, you raise a good point. Everyone moves away from home eventually; if i end up in colorado I'll just be going away a little earlier than some.</p>
<p>Nursey, the distance is the main concern because of the lack of (physical) contact like weekend visits etc. I have a brother in college in deleware pretty close by.</p>
<p>I want to be able to do what i think will be best for me, but i don't want to upset my mom too much either. I think with time she will come to accept it and appreciate it a little bit more, but like you said, I don't even know where i'm going to end up yet. </p>
<p>What was your attitude toward your son's desire to attend USNA so far away? Were you crushed, but tried to hide it so as not to upset him? Or were you completely open with him about how you felt about it? How did you guys deal with it?</p>
<p>Candid, </p>
<p>I think more than anything you need to give some thought to which service is of greatest interest to and work back from there. A service academy is 4 years of your life which undoubtly seems like a long time at this point, but it is just one step on the path to what may be a long career. Perhaps if you frame your choice to your family in such a manner, it may take something away from the distance consideration; ie you want to attend the Air Force Academy becasue you want to pursue a career in avaition. There is nothing wrong with saying "I like the Air Force Academy because...", but ultimately if you said I want to attend the AFA because I want to be a .... it may be easier to make your case. It is no longer about going away to college, it's about planning a career and a future. Good luck.</p>
<p>You only mentioned applying to the Academies. Do you have other back-up schools in mind and how far away from home are they? Without restating a lot of the materials previously posted on this site, approx. 10% of those who apply actually get accepted, so having alternatives in mind is a good plan. Is the distance from home also a consideration in choosing your back-up schools?</p>
<p>Like rjr mentions above, you need to be totally committed to your goals and while a career in aviation is also possible at say the USNA, you need to view this as a multi-year commitment.</p>
<p>Candid8-</p>
<p>Up until Jan. 19th, I was doing everything I could do to help my son. I was gung-ho, all over it, yet mindful that this could come to the reception of the dreaded "thin envelope." I made sure he had a plan B to a plan Z. My husband, the retired military one, was a total "hands off." He wanted this to be our son's and only our son's decision and did not want to influence him either way. </p>
<p>We were completely open with him in as much as we warned him about the possibility of not getting in, having back up plans, how we racked and stacked the academies, drawbacks of attending an SA vs a civilian institution. </p>
<p>Then came the night of Jan.19th. We came home from a soccer game to find a large envelope on the front doorstep. Looked at the return address and gave it to my son. After the initial celebration (and waiting for Dad to get home), I sat down to e-mail our family and friends when it hit me; my little boy would be going away. I sat there and started sobbing, and yes, in front of him. Huge, gulping sobs. He didn't know what to think. I told him it was because I realized he would be gone. He patted my back with a weird look on his face, telling me he'd come back home to visit. </p>
<p>I was never crushed that he chose to pursue this course of education/career. I had hoped he would seriously look at a civilian college, since he was a military brat of a military brat. I wanted him to be able to look at both, evaluate the pros/cons and choose appropriately for him. But, the course he wanted/chose/received was an honorable path and appropriate for him. Well worthy of our support. </p>
<p>It's a journey for both parents and child. You learn so much and in a way, become emotionally closer. You realize and respect (as a parent) their willingness to lay childhood aside on a certain date (I-Day) along with 1200 others, and in return, they respect you for letting/helping them do just that. Additionally, letter #3 from Plebe Summer eluded to the fact that our son appreciated everything he had before going into the military (longer sleeping hours, laundry/cooking service, extra cash for the gas tank, phone priv.'s, etc). Nice to know you're appreciated, finally!</p>
<p>I hear all of ya! I'm well aware of the commitment and a SA is definitely what I want as preparation for the rest of my life.
My first choice civilian college is about 5 hours away (drive), and I applied for NROTC. Most of the civilian schools I'm applying to are relatively close.</p>
<p>RJR, I think your advice is good. I would like to be a pilot, and I have told her that, but perhaps not as adamantly as I should. </p>
<p>Nursey, thanks for sharing your experience. No matter where I end up, I think it will be a little easier on the parents since I'm second to go. I guess every parent is naturally going to be upset though :).</p>
<p>I appreciate everyone's input. I have a feeling it will get easier with time for my mom but then, as in Nursey's case, come crashing down when (or if) the moment comes that I will be going far away.</p>
<p>If you want to fly, there's no better place than the AFA (though I'm a little biased!). I'm a Cadet Fourth Class (freshman) here at the Air Force Academy, and my home is in Pennsylvania, so I understand the distance involved.</p>
<p>If you decide to come here, there will be several opportunities for your parents to come visit: Acceptance Day, Parents' Weekend, football games, etc. Once Basic Cadet Training is over, they can essentially come out to see you as much as they'd want to (obviously, this probably wouldn't be every weekend). And, as others have mentioned, you will be leaving home eventually. You might as well do so now, considering the amazing jumpstart to your future that a service academy would provide. Best of luck to you.</p>
<p>Candid;
I might be the "odd man out" here but I think your mom might have a valid concern. Now, I am not saying NOT to go to AFA if you get in and love it. But, the distance is a concern. My daughter is at USNA and we live about 1400 miles from Annapolis. She looked at schools coast to coast and we didn't really think about the distance. She has been gone 3 years now and I have to tell you that it is an issue for HER. The kids whose parents live on the eastern seaboard get to visit, even if it's just for church and brunch on an occassional Sunday. It's relaxed and if you are really homesick, your parents can be there in a few hours. She has done fine but should you get into two SAs and can't decide, distance is a factor. The academies area very difficult emotionally at times and it is nice to have family around, at the games, meets etc. We are lucky to get out there once a year. Good luck on your applications.</p>
<p>Candid8-</p>
<p>apply to all that interest you
see what ones you get accepted to (that will narrow down viable options)
visit "viable options" with your parents
do an overnight stay
weigh the pros and cons.... homesickness can be one (you will adjust)
discuss with your parents
make your OWN choice</p>
<p>YOU will be the one doing this....so MAKE SURE it is what YOU want to do.
Your parents love you- they will adjust.... and trust me, they will visit you no matter WHERE you go.</p>
<p>Best of luck!</p>
<p>If distance is a factor, have you thought about what happens AFTER you graduate?????</p>
<p>Yeah Time2 has a great point. I think the biggest factor should be the formulation of the rest of my life. Granted, I may get a little homesick once in a while, or more than I expect to, but there's no way for me to tell that now.<br>
I'm applying to three acads. If i only get into one, that's where I'll go. If i get into 2 or 3, I'll choose the one that I think will be best for me for the rest of my life, and my parents will support that. Like Time2 said before, a lot of people go far from home eventually. I may just end up doing it 4 years earlier.</p>
<p>PETKO, you can relate perfectly! How did you/your parents deal with the distance both during the admissions/decision process and actually going away?</p>
<p>Candid8
First of all your mom can be your best interviewer. If you really want to go to a service academy convince her of it. I think this means you will need a first choice. Show her your excitement and educate her of what a service academy has to offer. Once she understands why you want to go I bet she will be your number one supporter.</p>
<p>As for distance I have three in college one in public state 2 hours away, one in a private out of state 5 hour drive and one at the USMMA 12 hour drive. The one I worry about the most is the one in state 2 hours away. It is her personality to do it on her own. She rarely travels home and we have to call her. The one five hours away, I worry each trip especially in bad weather. But she does call regularly each day. The one at USMMA I feel is in the most protected setting. I do not worry about his safety and he is ready for the mind games while they are difficult. I do worry about his studies since they are so intense. If he had the same academic challenge at any other school doubt I would hear from him either. Bottom line for visits, he is home in 5 hours and I dont worry that he will be sideswiped by a tractor trailer. Once you start college no matter where you go the visits will be few and far between. You will have your friends and your mom will get her own activities started. The round trips are just too long for a short weekend and hotels do add up.</p>
<p>This is good...</p>
<p>Admissions/decision process was a piece of cake.</p>
<p>Drop off for I-day...much much tougher from a parental point of view. The initial separation was difficult, but everyone eventually adjusts, and nobody takes anything for granted. A letter home is worth it's weight in gold. It's a "full life" with a kid in a service academy , with real emotion, and a much different experience than having a kid at a LAC or State U.</p>
<p>I live 2 hours from the Air Force academy but that shouldn't be a factor. After the first 1 or 2 visits, he might as well be in Annapolis. I would get to see him just as often. I know parents are concerned and love their kids, but let them grow up and have their life. If it means they go Air Force instead of a 2 hour drive, then so be it. It has to be their decision. If the applicant/cadet has no problem with the distance, then neither should the parent. If the cadet DOES have a problem with the distance and home sickness then they are going to have a lot more problems then that.</p>
<p>Some parents aren't going to want to hear this, but; your son or daughter will love it if you visit to watch them get through the first step and move on to the academics as a cadet. They will love it when you come for parent's day. Then they will start really getting into school. They will love receiving packages, cookies, letters, emails, etc... 2-3 months will go by really quickly and they will be home to visit for Thanksgiving and/or Christmas. (I understand that you may not be able to afford flying them home for both). Other than the traditional holidays and couple weeks in the summer, they aren't going to want you to visit. They also aren't going to want to come home. They will because they love you. They will because most of their friends go away for the holidays also. But within a year or two, don't be surprised when they tell you that they want to stay during spring break because they and their friends want to go some place on their own.</p>
<p>There's nothing cold hearted about any of this. What needs to be done is to let your son or daughter grow up and make their own decisions. Let them decide what they want and what they think is best for them 4,7,10,15 years from now. </p>
<p>If you're an applicant, then you need to explain to your parents what you want. You need to tell them how much you love them. Tell them how much you appreciate them making you into the fine young adult that you have come to be. Understand that losing their "Little Baby" (Yes, I still call that to my kids) is hard on the parents. But don't let them influence what you want. That is the first step to going to any academy. Learning to stand on your own two feet and becoming responsible for your own actions. What a perfect time to start. Let your parents know that you will come home to see them during breaks. Tell them that you will continue to keep in touch with them with phone calls, letters, and emails. (Have integrity and keep your word). And over time, you can ween your parents away from holding on.</p>
<p>I'm not saying that having my kids leave and go off to different schools and such is easy. it isn't. I also know what the first few years of my life was like when I went into the Air Force and how it was on my parents. The most important thing however is to let your child make up their own minds. Always let them know that you will be there for them. That will gain more love and respect than anything else. They will realize that you now respect them as an "Adult". Anyway, that's my $0.023254 (Inflation). Later.... Mike....</p>
<p>Candid,</p>
<p>First let me say that Colorado is a great place to be.</p>
<p>We have a similar situation: live 1.5 hours from AFA but daughter wishes to attend USMA or USNA. My thoughts are that I will lose her early and often no matter which service academy she attends. She will simply not have the flexibility that she would at a LAC or university so she might as well shoot for those that make her feel most at home. We will avail ourselves of every opportunity we can to see her but have come to grips with the realities of life at a service academy. Your mom may still be processing the overall situation and maybe just needs some time. When she sees that you feel called to one service academy over another, I have a feeling she will come around. Hang in there. The more she sees your passion for this path, the easier it will be for her to let go.</p>
<p>I'm in the Chicago area and our daughter is at WP. During her first and 2nd year we actually saw her every 6-8 weeks. This year she's making more plans with friends and will not be home during PPW or spring break. At least she still wants to go to the Army-Navy football game with me. It just seems like part of this whole growing up thing. It actually isn't very different from my other daughter at a civilian college only a 3 hour drive away.</p>
<p>Candid8:
I do see 07PETKO posted to you regarding AFA - the school of choice. :) </p>
<p>I could, as a parent, write a really long post of how wonderful the Academy is, the decision to go there, cadet activites, etc.</p>
<p>But, what I would like to see you do is post to the AFA site and ask the cadets there what happens between them and their parents relationships from beginning to.....not the end....they are still there. :) Post the same first post you did on this site and see what responses you get.</p>
<p>And, be patient. I happen to know that cadets at AFA are very busy academically, militarily and physically. It is pretty intense there sopmetimes. Not bad - just intense. These cadets are the hardest working young people I have ever met.</p>
<p>Now, don't any other parents come flaming at me about the AFA cadets being the hardest workers and your kids elsewhere are not. I don't know about the other academies. Just posting about the one I know. :) :)</p>