<p>Hello everyone,</p>
<p>I have been lurking for the last month or so. I started the process of exploring BS for C in Oct/Nov. When I'm not worrying about DC getting rejected (C has applied to HADES schools) I am worried about what happens if C gets in -- what if its a grandslam but I decide it isn't a good idea for C to go (local HS is considered excellent) and C is disappointed mad at me. Last fall I wanted to make sure that I didn't let an opportunity for C slip away. C is very bright, bored with hetereogeneous classes at local MS, we've done lots of enrichmend, club athletics, instruments, etc. Child was game because of boredom, wanting a new challenge etc.</p>
<p>I don't come from the BS culture although in the 70ies my older brother was offered a chance to go to Choate (I believe from tests he had taken and the fact that we were very poor) but I am not sure after all this time as I was only a C then. My mother decided it wouldn't be a good idea to go--too much a culture shock for someone in our then income range.</p>
<p>Well, thanks everyone for letting me lurk, it's been enlightening...</p>
<p>If it is your child’s choice to go - and he has choices - then let that guide you. Chances are given the competitive nature, the schools will narrow your choices for you. He won’t get accepted everywhere. From there it’s gut feel. I highly recommend looking now for dirt cheap airfares to nearby airports (SW is flying to Newark next month, Hartford and Boston now). Go with DC for the interviews so you can see his reaction and get a gut feel for which school fits your family’s needs and personality. Or talk to local interviewers or alumni who can often give you a “real” view of the school climate as opposed to the “recruitment” view. </p>
<p>It’s a tough choice. I didn’t come from a BS environment, or a family with financial means, so it was a leap of faith for my parents. They were ridiculed for letting me go - sometimes by relatives. So too when my D applied and teachers began joking in front of her classes that we were sending her away because “we didn’t love her.” </p>
<p>BTW - Don’t think of this as being about “getting into college” It’s about a transformative experience that you can’t get other places.</p>
<p>I now interview for college and you wouldn’t believe how many parents are coming to me saying they passed up an experience when they were younger because no one coached them to take advantage of the scholarships or acceptances. Now they reqret it and don’t want to do the same for their own children. So know you are not alone.</p>
<p>We all struggle with it. If all else fails - do your best, then let DC be the deciding vote if the family can afford to send them. Yes it hurts to let them go, but it gets easier when they call and smile and tell you about their day once they settle. SKYPE is a marvelous way to stay close. </p>
<p>But your child will have to be highly independent and self-managing for this to work. So make sure he’s prepared to accept the responsibilities of this decision as well.</p>
<p>You can postpone worrying about this until after revisits, if your child’s accepted. On April 9th, you may find the entire family in agreement about go/don’t go. Revisits serve to refresh students’ and parents’ memories of the advantages of committing to a new school.</p>
<p>Thank you Exie for advice!</p>
<p>Somewhere I heard mentioned that you can get tuition insurance (I guess if you change your mind???) Do you know anything re: this. This may seem like I think it’s sure that C will get in. </p>
<p>Absolutely not, I worry about that too — I’ve raised my child’s hopes and what if they’re dashed, was this process a good thing or bad thing, etc. etc. I’d like to think it was a good one but I’m not sure…</p>
<p>Also, I cannot think about college yet!!! I absolutely refuse since C is only 13. Although, obviously after seeing how complicated the process for BS can be, I wonder how much more difficult the college search is (I know, I am showing my ignorance here since DC is my first).</p>
<p>He also applied to one Gladchemms too. I know that they are difficult to get into too. The decision we made was that if he was able to hit the big time he “might” go otherwise not since BS until 6 months ago seemed really outside the realms of possibility.</p>
<p>Tuition insurance covers you after you enroll. You don’t pay until you send in your deposit. I don’t remember if it covers you for changing your mind (we didn’t buy it). But it’s also not that cheap. At least a few hundred dollars on top of your deposit.</p>
<p>So don’t worry about that. I agree with the others. After you get a decision, then decide after revisits. That’s when you and your son can spend the entire day on campus so you’ll get a real feel for the culture.</p>
<p>But it looks like you haven’t applied yet - if you can afford to - visit the campus for interviews. But if you can’t (I couldn’t when I was younger), take your best guess and pick a range of schools so you’ll have options. NE isn’t the only area of the country with good boarding schools. My husband just interviewed someone from Saint Mary’s in Raleigh, NC and was impressed. There are many on the west coast.</p>
<p>You have plenty of time to weed down your list. Summer is a good time to write for viewbooks and brochures.</p>
<p>thanks again, we did interview and apply so we are waiting for the M10 along with many others on this board…</p>
<p>Good luck to all of the applicants and their families. I remember lurking here six years ago waiting to hear the news on March 10.
For my dd boarding school was a very positive and wonderful experience.</p>
<p>My #2 goes to a school that ends at MS and all kids are nervously awaiting re HS. In homeroom they’ve been talking about upcoming admissions and I heard from #2 a nice piece of advice to pass along to kids who will hear M10–stress to the kids to ask their friends where are they think they are going to attend, not where they got in!</p>
<p>I know exactly how you feel, Flowers. I was where you are this time last year. What if he doesn’t get in? Will he need therapy? What if he does get in? Will I need therapy?? Can I actually do this? My advice is when the decisions come out, make plans to attend re-visit days. It was there that I started to really believe this was a good idea. My son was SO excited - almost bubbly (he is never bubbly :)), and I actually did fit in with the other parents. Meeting other parents helped me a lot. I no longer felt like we weren’t a prep school family. The group of families attending revisit days with us was extremely varied and experiencing the same thoughts/emotions I was. I met a lot of people I really enjoyed chatting with - it was the same for my son.</p>
<p>He has now been at bs for nearly 2 terms and couldn’t be happier. I miss him like crazy but know for a fact it is the best place for him, even though leaving him there was the hardest thing I have ever done. It was the revisit days that convinced me. I wish you all the best on 3/10 - breathe!</p>
<p>Beachlover,</p>
<p>Thanks for your reply, it helps to know that my doubts and worries are not unique (is this schadenfreud ??? sp?) Obviously, I’m trying to distract myself vis a vis my other posts.</p>
<p>OMG, why did I begin this process…</p>