<p>My daughter is a two years away from the college admissions process, but I am already feeling inundated with information and the need to make choices today, in order to avoid disappointment two years from now. Dyer's statement in another thread about how helpful folks are in the Prep School section and how large the college section is made me wish there was a section for BS parents to discuss college admissions. (Not a discussion of the best schools, or how bs hurts or helps in getting in, the nuts and bolts of doing it as painlessly as possible)</p>
<p>My daughter is receiving mail and email daily from colleges and I am wondering how she is going to create a tour list and application list. We are also receiving information from her schools placement office, but I am not sure what to do with all this information. When we talked about college over the break only the well known schools were on her radar. How do you come up with a list? For bs school we were able to use boarding school review as an initial tool. What is the equivalent for colleges when your child is not sure about future goals? We can't visit all the schools she might be interested in, how many schools do people usually visit. We had a big blow out in our house about classes my daughter should be taking next year. After much discussion (and hurt feelings and accusations of being controlling), we decided (or caved in) to let her choose her classes, no mater how dissimilar the subjects seemed (After listening to the NPR piece on admissions, I feel better about that decision). How do you deal with parental expectations? My dh expects our d to attend his Ivy, even though the acceptance rate is 1% (or will be soon). When I point out the low acceptance rate I am accused of being negative and cursing her chances with my negative thoughts. When I suggest other schools, they are immediately rejected by him.</p>
<p>For the bs parents who have been through the process, please share your wisdom and insights. What worked and what did not? For current BS parents, share what you are doing now to prepare for the college admission process. For all, I still want to know if there is a way for me not to be involved.</p>
<p>Has your husband been keeping up with how competitive admissions are? DH who graduated from a well known IVY many moons ago has had his expectations revised down by me since DC was in 5th grade! I have sent him many clippings, showed him books, I must confess that I am a hopeless fan of what I call “admission porn” – I actually don’t know if I’ve stolen this from one of the many, many books that I’ve read on the subject. He now thinks DC’s chances are hopeless – we will go from there when the time comes!</p>
<p>My daughter is an upper. She had an assignment from the college counseling office to have a college list prepared by the end of her spring break. She was supposed to list 5 schools with below 50% acceptance rate and 5 schools with above 50% acceptance rate. She has exactly one school on her list and it’s a below 50% school. I didn’t even know there was any such thing as a school with an above 50% acceptance rate. I can’t think of anything except a community college. But I’m going to let her tackle this project on her own. I have taken her to see as many colleges as I could, including one over break, but I don’t think any of them have such a generous acceptance rate. We’ll see how her list looks at the end of the school year. Hopefully it will be complete enough that she can start applications over the summer.</p>
<p>IMO, take a step back. Have some faith in the BS College Counselor and your daughter. It is very possible and normal for the initial list to completely change by the Fall of the Senior year. All I had done was added unnecessary pressure and drama to an already challenging and exciting process. I took a step back and it all fell into place on schedule. He’s happy, I’m happy and I thank his BS.</p>
<p>I just saw my second guy’s intended class schedule for next year (Jr.). If he has bitten off more than he can chew then I know his advisor will intervene but I’m confident his advisor has already endorsed the classes. His drive may be from some letters and comments he has already received that makes him take it to the next level. I just sit it out and watch it all come together and try not to get too caught up or act on things I really can do nothing about. I’m excited for him and just try to get out of the way.</p>
<p>In the final stages over here, waiting for some more responses and FA pkgs. Hoping I’ll be able to exhale by mid April. Yanno, just in time to take a few breaths before leaping into the BS apps with DC2. </p>
<p>I started the process by reading Colleges That Change Lives. Hugely helpful, not just in naming schools we might want to look at, but gave me a good idea of what we could look for, if that makes any sense. </p>
<p>Talk with and think about your child, what type of environment they’re looking for (I think how they feel about their BS gives them an edge over other kids for that reason, they’re already experiencing a college-type environment), what her interests are, does she KNOW what they’d like to major in. </p>
<p>College admission reps visit the BS campuses, which was very helpful. We did not visit all of the schools my child applied to, because of, well, life. If the process yields acceptances + enough FA to a school we didn’t visit, we’ll go. Some families love the visiting/touring, have the funds and flexibility, and see many, many schools. Stressful as this is, in many ways it has felt less stressful than the other school admissions processes we’ve gone through, because there are so many choices. Your daughter may want a large university (Ivy or not), or she may want something different. Hopefully your dh will be able to go with you and your dd on some school tours outside of the Ivies.</p>
<p>Here’s a few of my thoughts on the process, having gone through it recently.</p>
<p>Don’t sweat it too much before the junior year. Your child will feel enough pressure and I think focusing on it too early will increase anxiety. </p>
<p>Let your child follow their passions. The BS will require them to take the sufficient math, science, language arts, etc. classes that colleges want. By pursuing what interests your child when it comes to specific classes, IMO hey will get better grades and be more appealing to colleges because their transcript will reflect their interests and personality.</p>
<p>I highly recommend the Fiske Guid to Colleges. I think it is the best reference out there for rsearching colleges. </p>
<p>The beauty of creating a balanced list of around 7-10 schools representing reaches, matches and like lies, is that it’s ok to go after the Ivy dream (as emdee’s husband wants) and still pursue other, more realistic options. I think as you go through the process over the next 18 months, both parents and child will get a dose of reality that will temper expectations. The top schools are a reach for almost everyone these days and a bit of a crapshoot. </p>
<p>Start by looking at a handful of schools - small, large, rural, urban to get an idea of what appeals to your student. It will help to narrow it down. I would refrain from starting at the tippy top at the very beginning. </p>
<p>Love your safeties! (keep repeating this mantra)</p>
<p>There are so many wonderful colleges out there! If your student is female, look at a women’s college or two as they are beautiful schools with stellar academics. Look outside the NE. The Midwest has wonderful schools that don’t get as many boarding school applicants (many offer merit aid that is more difficult to come by at NE schools). If at all possible, try to keep your child from latching on to one school as the “dream school”.</p>
<p>I’m sure I’ll think of more but these are some thoughts that quickly come to mind.</p>
<p>Excuse my typos. I am getting used to an IPad and find editing is tough.</p>
<p>We found visits helpful as a way to sleuth out the intangibles about a school. We quickly realized it was useless to visit a campus when school was not in session. Visit when the students are on campus. We found the best times were during spring break junior year and late August/early September before senior year. It’s also possible to visit many schools during part of Thanksgiving break as many schools have colleges have very short breaks then. </p>
<p>Enjoy the process. My daughter and I truly found it fun and have many memories and a few funny stories about the college road trips we went on.</p>
<p>Great information already. I will step back and let her lead the process, I told her I was going to do just that because her sibling will be applying to bs the year she graduates and her response was “Really, is bs more important than college.” I love the idea of making the type of list Photo Op spoke of, and I assume, if I am patient the college counseling office will take the lead. I think they are already doing a great job, they have provided us with more information I expected to receive at this point. I appreciate the book recommendations, I will look at both, in addition to Crazy U. </p>
<p>I am going to recommend my d not allow colleges send her material when she takes the PSAT. Receiving all of these mailings everyday, makes me feel as though I ought to be doing something. And they all look like fabulous institutions. </p>
<p>Good luck creative, I am sure your d will find a wonderful institution. </p>
<p>Flowers, my dh has not kept up with the admissions realities, I am trying to gently clue him in, without curing my d’s chances of course. </p>
<p>Book Recommendations: Colleges That Change Lives, Fiske Guide to Colleges</p>
<p>I read your post and it’s as if you are ghostwriting my thoughts. Sorry, but I have absolutely no advice, no wisdom and no insight to offer as this year rapidly comes to a close and the college evaluation process begins in earnest. To my credit, I have been following Michele Hernandez’ tweets so I’ve deluded myself in believing I am plugged in. My son is interested in a major not offered at many colleges/universities and secretly, I’m hoping he will hang on to this interest because it has provided a somewhat narrowed track. If he wants to switch majors (or have no major) after only a few lectures, so be it. It’s all I can do at this point to assist him in getting in the door. Of course, by “assist” I mean taking a step back, letting him drive the process, having faith and confidence in guidance counselors, blah, blah, blah. But I am not so sure if I trust the process.</p>
<p>I know what you mean re the mailings from the PSAT. And to think, all of these forward-thinking, environmentally conscious institutions…smh.</p>
<p>@flowers123: “admissions porn”? lol!!!</p>
<p>@[whomever mentioned Fiske guides - I totally agree - great resource]</p>
<p>Don’t let your child tick off the box on the PSAT that allows the kids to receive mailings. You will get fed up with the mail and emails - 95% of it from colleges you could care less about. I think it is much better to let it be a more organic process where your child requests info from schools he/she is interested in based on research. It does have the benefit of being a much greener approach as well.</p>
<p>Common Data Set - Stumbled across this source of info. Every college publishes one and they are usually easy to search online. Just search by school name and “common data set” and current year. </p>
<p>ex: Middlebury 'common data set" 2011 </p>
<p>You will find a wealth of info in them in terms of admission stats and the different level of importance given to different parts of the admissions application. For example, some colleges want to see a show of interest from a student and/or an interview. Other schools do not give weight to this.</p>
<p>I third emdee’s and creative1’s suggestion to NOT accept materials from colleges after the PSAT. My 11th grader said no, and she’s saved at least a small tree that way. There’s so much info available on the web, there’s just no need. </p>
<p>We were told at college counseling kick-off to have days when you don’t bring the subject of college up. I think most days should be like that. </p>
<p>Some other advice is to never ask any students what they are thinking about college, until they are seniors past their decision time. A blog I recommend, The Choice, dealt with this recently:
[College</a> Admissions Advice - The Choice Blog - NYTimes.com](<a href=“http://thechoice.blogs.nytimes.com/]College”>http://thechoice.blogs.nytimes.com/)
Scroll down to the entry about the optometrist. </p>
<p>I’ve started college visiting and it’s great, I research the restaurants, not the colleges, and we have fun. If my daughter decides on college based on where the best pizza is, she will have an excellent data set.</p>
<p>Another thought: Ignore most advice and comments you hear from well-meaning friends, family, acquaintances as most people only know the Ivies and schools with good sports teams. :)</p>
<p>Emdee- I would also ditto the suggestion to trust your child’s college counselor. We have been through the process once and will soon do it again. For the first one, it worked out much, much better than I would have expected after reading all of the scary articles out there. I’m sure your school has the same sort of system, where the kids meet as a group, weekly, with their college counselors. They are talked through the process step by step, and given small assignments like “Go to the college fair this week and introduce yourself to five representatives. Report back which ones you met…” to writing prompts to practice for The Essay. In terms of visiting, I’ll also echo the suggestion to look in your own area for different kinds of schools- urban, rural, small, big, liberal arts, university, single sex etc and just see what feels right. Then, you can narrow it down and start making the list. I also found the college counselor to be very realistic, if not slightly pessimistic, about chances.The actual visiting with your kid experiences is kind of fun.</p>
<p>Ditto on the box. We were inundated with multiple mailings, emails and letters from colleges. I was appalled at how much money goes into mailing redundant unsolicited flyers and viewbooks and how brazen some schools are at email pitches. Especially when many of them didn’t specialize (or offer) degree programs in her stated interest. They saw “high scores” and ignored “fit.”</p>
<p>One thing we did was asked our D to define her ultimate college goals. For her it was strong Fine Arts or Drama programs and absence of Japanese language was a deal breaker. That helped us know what catalogues to pitch. Still I think the mailman hated us during junior and senior year.</p>
<p>Now we’re getting them for our sophomore. Holy smokes.</p>
<p>We’re trusting that having gone through the BS application/weeding process, she’ll be a good advocate in the Counseling office for schools that fit her personality.</p>
<p>This why I love this forum. Great to see you also nyleco. Do most kids have a firm major in mind by 11th grade? Is it really necessary for the college search? Do we need to arrange formal visits through the admissions office or will a self-guided tour of the campus do in most cases? My college search was nothing like this, not only was it a different century, but I attended the college all my older relatives attended and had been to the campus a 1000 times. Honestly, I don’t recall filling out an application.</p>
<p>No, I don’t think most kids have a firm major in mind. For my child, he knows he wants to pursue certain interests, but overall wanted a small LAC so he wouldn’t feel immediate pressure. Odds are they’ll be doing whatever they choose to do for a loooong time, and there’s much out there they don’t know about yet, so I encouraged taking time to decide. </p>
<p>I began research early, but when it came time to pursue interviews, apps, and tours, it was DC who took the lead, and did the majority of the work without me. He may not be sure yet of what his major will be, but he knows who he is. This makes me a happy mama. </p>
<p>We did a mix of formal and self guided tours. I have to say, each self guided tour we wound up getting help and volunteers of info from students and staff.</p>
<p>No need to have a major in mind. It is perfectly acceptable at most schools to apply undeclared or undecided. A lot of students will have an idea of what they think they want to major in, yet many of those will wind up changing sometime during their freshman or sophomore year in college. </p>
<p>I would suggest arranging a formal visit with the admissions office when at all possible. Many schools track your “interest”. This is more important for the smaller schools. I would also try to arrange an interview at that time as well if it is junior spring or later. Saves time on going back to do o if interested and we found the one-on-one interview format more productive usually than the group ion sessions offered.</p>
<p>Agreed that you should at least sign in to the information session or tour at the admissions office at the college. Apparently “demonstrated interest” is a big factor at some of the schools.</p>
That’s my understanding too, but are students free to choose ANY major regardless their initial interest? Are there more “popular” majors that are harder to get in, or are they all open to all students with no entry requirement?</p>
<p>@Creative: Agreed. The “demonstrated interest” factor is important at small schools and also if the student is applying to a specific school within a large university. A student may experience a sudden and genuine change of heart with respect to interests however, gaining entry into the Wilson School of Public Affairs at Acme University is a tough sell when all your past activities and passions reveal an unyielding interest in the Arts. These specialized schools often hit the ground running in freshman year with many classes offered in a cohort model.</p>
– we will go from there when the time comes!</p>
</p>