<p>I ditto what others have said about AA/OA. Participating in AA allowed my son to move in early, meet people right away, and become acclimated to the campus before things got crazy. Another thing that has helped him is jumping right in and becoming involved with a local church. He says he has found an amazing church - Calvary Baptist. All of the activites that have been going on around campus have helped him meet people and stay busy. It doesn’t hurt that he gets along well with his three roommates, too. He could not have gotten off to a better start. I thank God everyday for this! </p>
<p>Dent - A while back I sent you a PM about my son and his roommates and provided info about one roommate in particiular because he and your son may have classes together. Well, that roommate is also a golfer! These two really need to meet! My son and this roommate also have the package B for football games…I am crossing my fingers that these boys’ paths cross soon!</p>
<p>My wife and I just moved to this area and its a completely new experience for us as well, we both attended undergrad at places that were much smaller than this (2000 students max). If he ever wants someone to come and speak to, about getting started in school at a strange place he can feel free to come and speak to me. I’m on campus at pretty regular times just message me on here and I will be happy to give you the times that I am on campus (usually in the main library).</p>
<p>To the OP: How are things going? I hope that your son has been able to get a better feel for the campus, the university, and the people.</p>
<p>Another suggestion is to have your son go to office hours and meet with each of his professors personally. Often, getting to know the professors and TA’s can make the classroom experience better. Also, have him start a study group with some of his classmates and set up regularly scheduled meeting times at the library or coffee shop. This is a great way to get to meet people.</p>
<p>denthyg: I am also a dental hygienist, and the mother of a 19 yr. old soph engr. student who attends Purdue. My son’s experience last yr. w/move-in and the guys on his floor (business majors) was much the same. He told me only a few days into school that they were pretty big partiers (heavy drinking, smoking pot, etc.) His roommate seemed like a nice guy on move-in day, but by the end of the school yr our son said he, and his girlfriend, were both on academic probabion and he had been to the hospital a couple times, most likely to have his stomach pumped, as well as fell out of his lofted bed, guardrail and all, onto the hard cement floor. He was NOT someone my son cared to hang out with! BUT…our son absolutely loved the college, the engr. program, was out and about a lot and ended up making lots of friends through other avenues. I bet your son will, too, once he gets into his classes and joins a group or two. Our son orig. wasn’t interested in joining a fraternity, but by second semester didn’t want to end up w/a roommate like the one he had again so ended up joining the engr. fraternity and has just moved in this yr. as a soph. and is loving it! Tell your son this story - it will make him feel better that others have had the same experience but that it doesn’t have to damper his college experience too much! Hopefully he will “get out there” and get involved in his engr. major more and start meeting more people with his interests!</p>
<p>Things are still slow, but progressing. S has an ASME meeting tomorrow night, and a meeting Thursday regarding co-op for engineering students. He signed up as a free agent for IM football before he saw that someone on the ENGR 111 FB page is putting together a team…I suggested he check out whether he can change his status from “free agent” to actual team member.</p>
<p>All that said, he is getting busier, which I hope means that connections with people that he is comfortable with will be made. He said LOTS of kids were gone this weekend, and the fact that many of his HS friends were back in our hometown made for a rough weekend for him. However, he is still working on finding his niche and not giving up yet, thank goodness. </p>
<p>Thanks for the continued suggestions on this forum, as well as the PMs that I have received!</p>
<p>‘Den’…I had to laugh after reading your post because I thought this was my ex-wife posting about our son. I haven’t gotten my son’s class schedule yet but I think he too is entered in an intro engineering program. If I find out that’s correct I’ll let you know. Last I talked with my son, he asked if it’s natural to feel lonely. So,…letting each of them know about the other might be a good idea. thanks</p>
<p>This weekend was a bit unusual because the football game fell on the holiday weekend, so kids who wouldn’t normally have gone to the game went or left campus. Although the weekends can be quieter (especially Sundays) the campus does not normally empty out.</p>
<p>Your son could try to schedule his laundry, food shopping, chores, (things he would do solo anyway) on the weekend.</p>
<p>But, just wait till there is the home game, he won’t be lonely on campus…</p>
<p>Glad to hear that things are progressing…Best of Luck</p>
<p>I just happened on this thread and teared up. My D went thru this same thing last year at her college (not U of A), and we tried our best to help her. She started having the same feeling as the OPs S, about not meeting kids like her (doesn’t like to party either), and she is the one who told us that her window of opportunity was closing for “getting into a group”. It was so hard to think of her there among lots of kids but being so alone. She really couldn’t get along with the kids on her floor (there was a mix of girls and boys and they all drank).</p>
<p>Our girl was always one to excel in her studies, so we told her to throw herself into her class work, and just make it thru her first year. Long story short, she started calling every night crying, then she started to get sick. She moved out of her dorm and into another one where she got a single room. She only left the room for class and meals. Her course work suffered. We kept hoping it would get better, but it didn’t. She had so many bad feeling about the school, that she didn’t go back. She’s upstairs right now; planning on taking a few classes at our local university this year and then transferring to another school next fall</p>
<p>Believe me - we are not wimpy parents, and we tried the tough love approach with her, but sometimes it is just not the school and environment for them. And if they need to transfer, don’t put them through a year of misery.</p>
<p>i will pop in here to say that my daughter went through this a bit, as well. she was able to pull through and find her fit. it did take a while and there was talk of transfer, but i think she is a better and stronger person for having gone through it and coming out the other side. she went through something really tough, and she worked it out. sure, transferring was an option, but i think sticking with it has a lot to do with who she is today in a good way.</p>
<p>marbleheader, i am sorry your daughter had such a rough time. hopefully everything will work out better for her at the next school.</p>
<p>Sometimes it is the not the school, it is just that the student is really not ready to leave home. This can happen to both young men and young women. Every person finds their own time in life to leave home, and be happy and successful. For some, it just comes at a later date. It is a lot to expect that every 17 or 18 year old will be ready.</p>
<p>denthyg: I don’t think this about your son’s situation and I am glad that he is getting busier.
**Have you or other new parents who are in your situation seen the “FYE” Website? It is about the “First Year Experience” at UA. The website is a little hinky but there is still plenty of great info there. Here is a link: [First</a> Year Experience](<a href=“http://fye.ua.edu/]First”>http://fye.ua.edu/)</p>
<p>For instance, a student can set up an individual meeting to talk about transitioning to UA, see this:
Individual Transition Meetings
If your student wants to learn how to get plugged in or talk about their first year at UA, have them set up a meeting with an FYE staff member by emailing <a href=“mailto:fye@ua.edu”>fye@ua.edu</a>.</p>
<p>Hope this helps you or any other students/parents
Sometimes this info is not as apparent to first year students as I wish it would be.</p>
<p>Marbleheader…don’t be surprised if it happens again when your D transfers.</p>
<p>*Things are still slow, but progressing. S has an ASME meeting tomorrow night, and a meeting Thursday regarding co-op for engineering students. He signed up as a free agent for IM football before he saw that someone on the ENGR 111 FB page is putting together a team…I suggested he check out whether he can change his status from “free agent” to actual team member.</p>
<p>All that said, he is getting busier, which I hope means that connections with people that he is comfortable with will be made. He said LOTS of kids were gone this weekend, and the fact that many of his HS friends were back in our hometown made for a rough weekend for him. However, he is still working on finding his niche and not giving up yet, thank goodness. *</p>
<p>Glad to hear that your son is now busier. That should make a difference. Yes, since THIS was a 3-day weekend and an AWAY game, many kids did leave campus…to travel, to go home, to go to Dallas, etc. That’s not the norm for a weekend, but a 3 day weekend and a big away game can cause many kids to leave campus</p>
<p>This weekend, many kids will be on campus since it’s the first home game. Will your son be going to the game?</p>
<p>Somrtimes kids can surprise you, and it’s hard to predict how. I was seriously concerned back in the summer (before BB) that my son was getting cold feet. He was severely anxious about college and wondering if he made the right decision. I worried about his ability to take care of his business, get to class, make friends, and prosper.</p>
<p>And now? He’s been gone 3 weeks. We have talked to him all of 3 times, and each time we had to initiate it. He appears to be making friends, getting to class, getting his laundry done, and enjoying himself. </p>
<p>When I was a student, it took me a very long time to adjust. I figured Junior would follow in my footsteps, but he has not. The only advice I can give is just to turn him loose ands make him swim… He will eventually find his way. All kids do, just in different ways.</p>
<p>It was a good article and illustrates how we change as life progresses. Each of us finds the path in our own good time, the trick is to keep looking.</p>
<p>I notice you’re from Ohio – we’re from Michigan. It means your son is about four states away. A year ago, almost exactly, I was in the same boat. My son went to Alabama and I left him without really knowing anyone. All I want to say is that it gets better. He met some great guys, opted to not rush a fraternity, and is pretty darn happy. </p>
<p>I know you wrote this a few weeks ago and hope that things are better for your son.</p>
<p>While I wouldn’t say things are getting better in all areas, he has definitely learned a lot about himself in the last month!! He is getting himself more involved socially, the roommate situation has improved, he is signed up for IM football, Tide 4 Christ, German club, Engineering Mentor UPP. The negatives…he has lost 11 pounds, is still struggling with insomnia, girlfriend broke up with him last week, and a tragic accident involving 2 of his high school classmates last weekend resulted in one boy dying and the other in a medically induced coma…obviously this has weighed on him tremendously this week. Reminds us all to count our blessings…</p>
<p>The most telling comment he has made to me is that he is having fun, but isn’t “happy” yet. I’ve advised him to trust the process, be patient, and don’t “look” for happiness…it will find him!! He never realized just how much he would miss home, but this is a growing experience for him! I truly hope he sticks it out for the entire year before making any transfer decisions. I have contacted the First Year Experience office, and I believe he has an individual transition meeting planned with the staff there…they seem quite helpful, and offer another outlet for his concerns.</p>
<p>A great positive for him…he hasn’t missed a class and is doing very well academically. I am definitely happy for that!!</p>
<p>I appreciate all of the suggestions/comments/concerns for everyone!! Keep good thoughts going for him!</p>
He could not have gotten off to a better start. I thank God everyday for this! </p>