I thought Bama was off the table after we visited and D decided she felt out of place. But now that it’s down to decision time and comparing pros & cons she’s having second thoughts.
As she told me, on paper UA offers everything she’s looking for. Her goal is a good-paying career after college with study abroad and internships or co ops. She doesn’t want a career in the South though (at this point), and prefers a non-boring job.
She’s being offered a Honors & full tuition plus the 2500 engineering scholarship but she did not apply for any of the selective programs like Computer Based etc.
She’s shy, quiet, non-athletic, not interested in sororities or sports, has spent her whole life in PA, and is an ORM. A good student but not a “superstar.”
Would she really get mentorship at UA in Engineering and Honors?
Her fear is that she would “turn into a turtle” there, and it’s hard for me to say how likely that would be. UA scares her, I think.
Also, I keep hearing second & third hand stories about " oh, I know some local kids who went to southern schools and came back after a year coz they were unhappy/ couldn’t fit in/ etc." From my family doctor, my H’s co-workers … always very vague. My H seems to buy into these. These stories never tell me who the kids are or what schools these were so I almost get an urban legend vibe. So how common is this?
Her other choice is Pitt, where she only gets half off in-state tuition, and although she is “Honors elogible” in Pitt this is only really about Housing. She’d literally just be another kid there and would need to be self-motivated to seek out opportunities. Although it’s far from home too, the culture is familiar. But when we did our second visit, she said," I think UA spoiled me - the facilities here seem much less in comparison." So she’s ok with Pitt but not excited.
I’m having a hard time helping her come to the right decision for her future without imposing my own preference.
“She’s being offered a Honors & full tuition plus the 2500 engineering scholarship but she did not apply for any of the selective programs like Computer Based etc.”
Honors scholarship? I’m not aware of any Honors scholarships for freshmen except through CBH and UFE. Could you elaborate?
“I thought Bama was off the table after we visited and D decided she felt out of place.”
Personally, I think feeling comfortable on campus is very important. Mine just knew it was the right choice for them. It’s likely your daughter already knows where she feels she fits.
“Would she really get mentorship at UA in Engineering and Honors?”
I can’t speak about mentorship in Engineering. I’m not sure I understand what type of mentorship are you expecting from Honors?
“Also, I keep hearing second & third hand stories about " oh, I know some local kids who went to southern schools and came back after a year coz they were unhappy/ couldn’t fit in/ etc."
That’s not exclusive to southern schools. That happens everywhere.
“She’d literally just be another kid there and would need to be self-motivated to seek out opportunities.”
Again, that could be said about pretty much any college. Even if she ends up at UA, she’s going to have to be self-motivated and seek out opportunities. They won’t land at her door.
“Although it’s far from home too, the culture is familiar.”
It depends on whether she’s looking for familiar or an opportunity to experience new things. Deep down, she probably already knows where she wants to go.
Good luck to your daughter in making her final decision.
Not an Honors scholarship, just regular automatic scholarship and accepted into the Honors program, sorry for being unclear!
Thanks for your advice. So, basically, it would be a bad fit for a shy kid.
" So, basically, it would be a bad fit for a shy kid."
Oh no, that’s not what I’m saying at all. One of mine is shy, but she’s done fine. She participated in Alabama Action and has continually sought opportunities to interact with people she didn’t know before. She’s actually not that shy anymore and has joined several organizations.
What I’m saying is that no matter where your daughter goes she will have to be self-motivated and seek out opportunities. Making friends and finding opportunities isn’t going to be any more difficult for her here than anywhere else as long as she reaches out rather than keeping to herself.
My older son is the shy type and I had the same concerns. He joined the COE does ART which was a great way to make friends.
In hindsight, I should have also had him do either Outdoor Action or Indoor Action because the first week or two were an issue (until COE does ART was formed…he was in the founding group).
As a female in eng’g. she should join the women in eng’g group (not sure if that’s the exact name or not). It would be a great group for a girl like your D.
Personally I feel like your daughter may struggle in the beginning but given how you described her I would high suggest participating in a pre-classes program like Alabama Action or Camp 1831. I did both and made lots of friends. Also finding roommates can make a world of a difference. I would describe myself as fairly outgoing but still struggle sometimes making friends and last semester was awful for me. I had roommates that I could not bond with and I could not find my place on campus. I spent most of my time alone. I was miserable. But then I decided to move rooms. I had a friend who knew some girls with an open room so I went for it. And now I have an amazing friend group and love it here. Its hard to see but I feel like most people find there niche eventually. Just make sure she gets involved and finds roommates she has things in common with.
Your daughter hasn’t yet missed the opportunity for all the selective programs – Emerging Scholars applications haven’t yet opened up and it sounds like the program might be a good fit for a couple of reasons. First, she will have the opportunity to work with a professor on the professor’s research — instant mentoring connection. Second, the required class will be filled with students who are also interested in undergraduate research – a group among which she may find it easier to reach out and make friends. http://emergingscholars.ua.edu/
Second, I would consider forgoing the honors suite dorms in favor of Blount Hall, which is also an honors dorm, but which can be less insular than the suite dorms. (Blount is the liberal arts honors program and all students in the program live in Blount their freshman year, but there is a floor of Blount open to non-member honors students.) Although the culture of every dorm varies somewhat from year to year based on the mix of students – one of my daughters had a very lively and social floor her freshman year in RCE – Blount is known for having a physical set up that encourages the development of friendships among its residents.
Third, if she enjoys community service, I would consider one of the early arrival “Action” programs. These take place during sorority recruitment week, so it is a good place, in particular, for non-rushing women to find their like-minded peers. Camp 1831 might be another alternative if community service isn’t a particular interest.
Based on size alone, Alabama and Pitt are going to present similar challenges for a student who is shy. As you recognize the key in every instance is going to be self motivation, but at Alabama, these three options might provide her with a running start and the always critical one “starter” friend who will go along to check out other opportunities that arise as the year progresses.
Finally, it is tough to beat Alabama for students who want to study abroad. At Alabama she will be given the full value of her out of state tuition scholarship to spend on her study abroad program if she wants to study abroad during a regular semester. She can (and probably will) qualify for additional study abroad scholarships from the Honors College, Capstone International and/or UA Away. With those resources, study abroad often ends up costing next to nothing for out of state scholarship students.
Emerging Scholars is a great idea as well! But definitely have her do those “icebreaker” camps like Camp 1831 and/or AA/OA.
While its always possible that your daughter could start at UA and transfer to Pitt, I would caution that it would likely make it more difficult for her to feel comfortable at the UA if she came in with that intention. I think planning to do so might cast a negative influence on her experience. Costs are a factor for most people, so I totally understand that being a part of the equation, but I would hate for her to begin her time at UA planning to only be here for two years.
The transfer idea I asked about in another thread is out – I agree about it being a bad idea since she needs to build relationships with faculty and peers.
D wants to talk today and I will have the ideas here to draw on, thanks guys!
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would caution that it would likely make it more difficult for her to feel comfortable at the UA if she came in with that intention
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Right! It would be roadblock (either intentionally or subconsciously) to set down any roots. Plus, if she were to say that to others, they would feel put off by that.
UA’s COE has it’s own mentoring program, called “Mentor UPP” - details here: http://mentoring.eng.ua.edu/ .
IMO, it is important going into college (not just UA) with SOMEthing in addition to schoolwork that you are involved in. Knowing what that is beforehand is important so that your student feels they belong to the school from the start.
If is she herself who feels she will become a turtle, then it is up to her to not become one! There are so many opportunities to join things…she just needs to find what those are. Look to what she already does in HS and what kinds of kids she hangs with. Then, you will be able to find those same things at UA. (LOADS of things to become involved in at UA for all types of people!!!) PM any of us ‘regulars’ if you don’t want to list those activities here and give us more info…and any of us can give you a list of what might be applicable to your daughter.
What branch of Engineering?
A thread from last year:
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/university-alabama/1624030-what-kind-of-student-would-not-be-a-good-fit-for-alabama.html#latest
It raises some concerns from an Asian American student. She wasn’t in a STEM program though which may offer a totally different experience. (I am guessing you mean Asian for ORM–apologies if I am mistaken!)
We looked closely at Alabama too for son but our local flagship seems to offer similar benefits so son didn’t apply after all.
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Thanks @MidwestSalmon that is an interesting thread
After a certain amount of distance, the total distance away from ones parents matters less as it’d be too difficult to drive home at a moment’s notice. As such, Alabama might not be that farther away than Pitt. That said, some students are less than an hour away from their parents and almost never go home as they are having too much fun in college.
While it’s easy for me to adapt to the logistical aspects of living somewhere new, it takes me longer to find a core group of friends. The key is finding the opportunities to go and meet people. Do Camp 1831, Honors Action, etc. Just because she doesn’t know anyone there and might not make fast friends doing the activity doesn’t mean she won’t have fun doing the activity.
I have a hard time recommending a shared room for a shy person as many shy people are introverted and like having time where they can be alone. It’s hard to get that with a roommate. While there is a lot of temptation to say in ones own bedroom, sharing a bedroom with another shy person might not exactly help them become more social either.
I agree with the sentiment that roommates can really affect ones college experience. I cannot stress enough that one is not to expect to become best friends with ones roommate(s). A good roommate situation is simply one without much conflict. While some people are naturally very social, it still isn’t fair to expect them to be the social director for their shy roommate(s).
I am super shy and I am perfectly fine.It is totally up to her to build relationship with class mates AND professors.
We are also from PA, and DS also applied to Pitt, for the same reasons.
Pitt offered the worst aid of all the schools DS applied to, so it was a no go. He was also accepted at Temple, also full tuition scholarship.
“I” have been very concerned about UA as well. But, whenever he has been asked he has stated UA. We have been getting nothing but encouragement about his attendance.
I have also asked him to consider Blount, but he is determined he wants his own room. He enjoys doing things w/ his friends, but there are times when he just wants to be alone, he needs it. As DH and I are also like that, I fully appreicate his need for his own room as a refuge in a very large university. As he won’t be able to come home very often, Christmas and spring break only, I think that becomes even more of a necessity.
I am looking at it as an opportunity to expand his social horizons.
Worst case, he hates it after the first year and has to come home, but he won’t know until he tries.
D has been mulling over it and despite what me & her younger sister (who thinks UA is the awesomest of all the schools she got dragged to) it looks like D will be declining Bama. Hasn’t officially committed to the other school yet but will probably do it this week.
I am glad that the process of picking a school seems to be helping her be more motivated and excited about her next steps.
@laralei the merit at Pitt - we really had hoped for more as well. Did they also tske a while to tell you the merit amount? I think your S will do great at Bama since he is enthusiastic about it. Will he do that honors service thing so he’s at the campus before classes start?
Hugs @scholarme , that is a hard one. UA is a great and fun school but if you feel on the outside and that far from home it could be lonely. Good luck, move forward and don’t look back, (at least that is what I am trying to do with D’s choice)
Hi @scholarme! I am late to the discussion but…
My D was offered a big merit scholarship to Fordham in NYC although not enough for us to swing the other 30K. She wrote to the folks there and asked for more merit aid money. They called her and offered 5K more. It wasn’t enough for our family but you could ask Pitt if they would consider more merit aid. Good luck!!