<p>Hi, y’all. My younger son has done well on his PSAT and his SAT (took once; will take again several times). Academically he is very strong, and he will probably qualify for the Presidential (possibly for the NMF). </p>
<p>But…he is not yet “ready for prime time.” He’s extremely shy (VERY unlike his older bro, Mr. Gregarious), and, despite our best efforts, he hasn’t mastered all the social skills appropriate for his age.</p>
<p>Would Bama swallow him alive? Are there resources available to ease an introverted kid into the huge student body?</p>
<p>We have been thinking of sending him to Forsyth Tech, our local CC, for one to two years, just to ease him into the college experience…then he could transfer to a regular four-year institution. Does Bama award any merit scholarships to high-stat transfer students? Could he get the Presidential for his remaining two years (as a transfer student) as long as he met the SAT qualification?</p>
<p>All advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!!</p>
<p>My son was certainly a work-in-progress socially when he went to Bama. Nerdy and socially awkward. He had never dated (other than a couple of fix-ups for dances), much less had a girlfriend. He went to Bama and roomed with a high school classmate, and was also able to room with a young man whose parents I knew only through this website. </p>
<p>From my perspective, the key is knowing somebody… even one person. It’s a lot easier to make the entree into social situations if you have a friend who is going through the same things. If he is going down there not knowing anyone it might be more difficult, and perhaps your instincts are on point. But I’m for erring on the side of jumping into the deep end of the pool. Do not waste the scholarship opportunities with a very smart kid. He does not belong in a community college. Just my $.02.</p>
<p>Hi Lady-
Couple of thoughts…I’m pretty sure the Presidential and the NMF scholarships are considered “freshman recruitment” scholarships…so I don’t think if your son waited and came say for his last 2 years that those monies would be available…I’m sure mc2k will know…</p>
<p>Second thing is since big brother is at Bama your younger son has some feel for UA and probably has already been on campus a time or two…that will help his comfort level…</p>
<p>And as you know doing OA or AA and getting plugged in early to a group of like minded kids will do wonder’s for him…</p>
<p>Have you considered sending him down to do one of the summer programs? seems like there are a few but I can’t put my finger on any links right this minute :)</p>
<p>Last thing…having older brother there for the first few days and weeks to help him navigate his way I think would be huge…</p>
<p>All he really needs is one person he feels comfortable for the first few weeks. Hopefully that could be someone in your local area who is attending UA, a roommate he meets prior to move in or even someone at BB or through a summer program. </p>
<p>It’s great big brother will be there but I would encourage him to make his own path rather than rely on his brother. You really don’t want to be in the middle of any complaints on that end.</p>
<p>LadyDianeski: Is attending Alabama the thing your younger son wants? Not every kid wants to attend the same school as a sibling. Does he want to go that far from home? Again, not every kid wants to be far from home. I have several former students who decided to stay in state (Virginia), because they wanted the option of returning home on a weekend. I have another former student who went 3,000 miles from home, but says that graduate school will be on the East Coast, because she has missed out on seeing family regularly.</p>
<p>Take the lead from your son. If he really wants to attend Alabama, he will let you know. My youngest son, a HS junior, puts Alabama at the top of his lists, but he also wants to keep his options open.</p>
<p>New scenery and new people just might break the old familar crutch of shyness. Unless there’s a good medical reason, I vote that he go and do what most college kids do, which is to find lifelong friends.</p>
<p>i had this same kid. pretty quiet and shy. a little socially awkward, but not terribly. sending her away was the best thing for her! she is now a confident young lady. she went to UA knowing not a single person. she has friends and has held several positions within her sorority and within the greek system. she has also been invited to join many honors organizations.</p>
<p>i don’t think she would have grown this much had she gone to school down the road.</p>
<p>i agree with others. CC sounds like a horrible idea for your kid.</p>
<p>like others said have him go to OA or AA and also camp 1894 (or whatever it is called). just get him hooked up with a group beforehand and then encourage him to find his place with other groups on campus. he will be fine.</p>
<p>I was the extremely shy, introverted kid when I went off to a large state flagship ‘a few’ years ago. (And I still tend to be fairly quiet and reserved. I’m definitely not a social butterfly.) But, it was very easy to meet people in college and many of my close friends now are people I met during my college years.</p>
<p>Even a large college feels smaller than the numbers indicate - you tend to interact with the same people - the people in your dorm, in your classes, in any organizations you join on a regular basis, it’s not as if you are meeting a whole new group of people all the time. Getting involved in some activities to get to know a small group of people that you see regularly will make campus feel smaller, I didn’t get very involved in college activities, but did work on campus and wound up getting to know many of my co-workers very well.</p>
<p>If it’s the school your son wants to be at, he’ll find a way to make it work for him. If he feels overwhelmed by it and isn’t sure it’s where he wants to be, then I’d look at a some other options.</p>
<p>When my freshman son was a junior in high school I had the same thoughts/fears about my son as you do about your son. Because he is more introverted, I thought he would do best at a nearby school and I started “researching” schools in our area. However his senior year came and although still quiet, he actually started seeming more “grown up” to me and ready to move away if he wanted. (Actually I didn’t realize how many friends he had in hs until graduation/prom/going-away parties as he basically hung out with his lifelong buddies.) He ended up 12 hours away at Alabama. It has been a great experience for him and although I don’t think he has joined as many clubs/done as many things offered as I would like, he has gotten involved as much as he wanted and is happy. He was lucky to have good roommates, 2 which became good friends, so that has helped. If your son is a junior, why don’t you encourage him to apply to nearby and far-away schools and see what he might be ready for when Spring comes.</p>
<p>It’s funny how many of these descriptions could be my boy. Our son was so reserved our friends affectionately referred to him as ‘The Mute’.</p>
<p>Not only is he thriving, our friends are amazed at his new confidence, and what an entertaining conversationalist he has become. Having a great set of roommates definitely helped his comfort level, as well as being able to retreat to his own room when he needed “me” time.</p>
<p>If your son wants to attend UA, i don’t see why he shouldn’t. :)</p>
<p>I’d fear that a local CC would just push him more into his shell. It would be too easy to not grow or branch out. The local CC is going to be full of more than just kids right out of high school so he will not have as many kids his age. Those that are his age will also be local and already have a friend base and family around so they won’t be “needing” to make new friends. CC is going to see more students “come and go” so they won’t have the time to build lasting friendships even if there were a few his age that he might click with. </p>
<p>With his older sibling already at UA I am sure he has visited a few times and hears his sibling gush all the time about the goings on of college life. Maybe even a weekend visit of just the boys his senior year to get him a chance to see how it is without mom/dad around. I’d also make it a point this summer to try and visit several other colleges that may be of interest to him that would require he move to the campus. I’d steer away from heavy commuter schools as that would still be the same issues as a CC.</p>
<p>I honestly believe that there is a place for everyone at Bama. :-)</p>
<p>Like many other kids mentioned, my S was a an introvert in HS, too… It shocked us when he decided to attend Bama, 13 hours from home. He had never really spent time away from us! He didn’t really know anyone there! How would he survive!!! Well, turns out he knew exactly what was best for himself. He is loving life at Bama. He has a very active social life and is thriving academically. He participated in AA and became active in church and community service right away. He has grown so much while there. It is hard to believe he is the same person! </p>
<p>Trust your son… If he wants to attend Bama, I say “Let him”. :-)</p>
<p>Sheesh, DS3 may follow DS2 in 2014. He managed the 1400 cut-off for the Presidential. We’re headed down Thursday and will be attending the Softball Game Friday night. If your son needs anything let me know and I can take it down for him.</p>
<p>DS3 sounds like the polar opposite to your 2014 graduate. He’s planning on joining a fraternity and I worry about him socializing a little too much in college.</p>