Would someone please read my UC essay

Hi guys,

I’m a transfer student from a CCC, and i was just wondering if someone would like to review my essay and share their opinions with me.

Major: Business/Econ
GPA: 3.954
Public Universities applied to: UCLA, UC Berkeley, UCSD, and UC Irvine
Also applied to USC, and planning to apply to Cornell and Duke as well.

Thanks!!

I’ll read it and provide general feedback on the structure. Can you message me it?