<p>College overall has been a positive learning experience, however, I have hit quite a few bumps along the way.</p>
<p>My GPA is on an upward trend but is still not so hot.
I believe I've been prone to depression (never have been officially diagnosed) for over five years now. All these setbacks have been really taking a toll on me recently.
I practically had a nervous breakdown after a difficult math test.
I haven't been able to sleep well and am just so worried about my GPA (after a freshman disaster) that it has been ironically negatively affecting my grades.
I really wanted to be a math major and I think I still can do it- it was just that this one math test really makes me put things in perspective.</p>
<p>A couple other things have been bothering me such as the fact that I haven't been in a romantic relationship since attending college, it was something I hoped to do but I am left with alcohol and friends who don't want to go clubbing because many of them already have boyfriends/girlfriends..and for overcrowding reasons, I will probably not be living in my fraternity's section next year. These have been some of my best friends in college and while I'll still be able to be in section all the time (and sleep there most of the time), it is still going to change things...I try to make it seem like things are good on the surface but inside I am crumbling.</p>
<p>I recently set up appointments with a counselor and had my first meeting yesterday.
I think I can make it through this semester (and I'll have to given the non-academic commitments I have made) but I think I need a break longer than summer from school. I think I need a break to sort things out in my personal life and hopefully I'll be able to return to campus a better student and happier person.</p>
<p>However, a problem is that my parents aren't very understanding of these things and would probably not approve of me taking a leave- up to the point that they would probably stop paying for Duke...I don't think that some 'quack therapist' (as my parents think of therapy) would be able to convince them that taking a leave is appropriate.</p>
<p>I would take this leave the first semester of my junior year and hopefully sort things out, return to college Spring 2010, take the summer session and still graduate in May 2011.</p>
<p>I have two questions.
1.) Would taking a leave help given I use it to sort out my personal problems?
2.) If my parents choose to be financially stingy and not understanding, I will obviously not take the leave, how do I sort things out without doing so?</p>
<p>Congratulations for recognizing that you need professional help and getting it. That's a great first step.</p>
<p>My advice is not to make any decisions about the future until you have been going to therapy for at least a couple of months. Then you will be in a better position to decide what course of action is right for you, and you'll have much more cogent arguments to make to your family if in fact you decide that a leave is the right thing to do.</p>
<p>If my child took a leave I would expect him/her to work full time while not going to school. Best would be an extended internship, but any job teaches life skills - and pays for living expenses!</p>
<p>Don't worry about your parents, they will come around when the psychiatrist who attended medical school for 8-12 years advises them on the health of their son or a Dean from the school advises a semester off if things get bad for you. There are people at your health center who are very experienced dealing with situations like yours and they will advise you and your parents if need be. Keep a close eye on your health during the first half of the semester and if it looks iffy take a medical withdrawal and go home. I know from personal experience that when a child is suffering from illness, whether it be mental or physical (both the same in my book), parents tend to adjust their opinions and help their children. Do not try to predict the future. Figure out how to best get through each day, week, month and the future will take care of itself. Your family will be there for you. Many kids go through this, you are not alone. Make sure that if your first counselor is not a good fit, you keep shopping for one that is. You will get better results if you have a good rapport with your therapist. Good luck. Your parents will be proud of you for getting the help you need.</p>
<p>I agree with not making any decisions while in this frame of mind, but when the time comes, perhaps a compromise would work well for both you and your parents. If you are like most kids, your taking at least 15 credits/semester. Back that down to 12- you're still full time but 1 less class can take quite a bit of pressure off. If you haven't already done so, take your phys ed requirements- another easy way to lighten your load.
Good luck.</p>
<p>Do you have an adviser in the math department? Why do you want to be a math major? I'm thinking this may be intertwined in your stress and I am worried that taking a semester off might not help if you come back to being a math major. (Are upper level math electives offered during the summer, or would you have to really push to take the hard upper level math classes in three school-year semesters?) Good luck.</p>
<p>My daughter took a LOA spring semester of her sophomore year. She came home, took a couple of classes at the local university and volunteered in an area she hopes to be employed in. While she needed more time than Christmas break, she didn't quit need an entire semester to get herself where she needed to be. You may find that a summer is enough, especially if you are receiving treatment. </p>
<p>You do not need to make a decision today about next year. Continue seeing the counselor, and maybe you will need to see a psychiatrist. If you decided you need to take a LOA, you can do so during the summer. A medical leave can be closer to the start of Fall semester. You may find that by the end of this semester, or the end of the summer that you feel better and are ready to continue.</p>
<p>Your school has <em>got</em> to have some counseling available. I'd start there--no cost, privacy, and I'm sure <em>very</em> experienced in problems such as yours (including how to communicate with your parents).</p>
<p>Depression is real but also treatable. Good for you for recognizing the possible problem. It's now incumbent on you to take action. Maybe start at student health? Or ask an RA?</p>
<p>Thanks for all your advice!
For now, I think I am going to work my best to get through this semester, see a counselor weekly or biweekly and another thing I'm going to try to do is live a more healthy lifestyle: exercise more and eat healthier foods.
This would probably increase my mental alertness and hopefully take away some of that Freshman/Sophomore 15 I got...
I plan to stick with the math major for now but obviously if things don't go so well, I'll have to switch.
Assuming I pass my two math classes, I'd probably take on a Statistics major and obtain a Math minor, which I'm really close to getting anyway.</p>
<p>Mondo, if you are being treated for depression or other medical problems your doctor can advise the school if he thinks you need to attend part time for medical reasons (stress, depression, etc.). Usually, they classify you as a full time student (for insurance and other reasons), but let you take a reduced class load. I encourage you to make contact with the Dean or Associate Dean of your school/major now, let them know what is going on with you, and then tell them you will keep them informed if you end up needing help later. I have found Deans have little publicized options available to help students through all sorts of situations. One key is to establish contact early. Do not wait until the night before midterms to realize you need help. You could make an appointment now and tell the dean exactly what you first posted here and ask if they have any advice for you. Your situation is not unique and they may have ideas particular to your university that none of us would ever think of. (Also, it never hurts to have a personal relationship with the Dean of your school. Letters of recommendations from them can only help later. You could choose to view this as an opportunity to get to know yourdean better.) In any case, you sound very together and I am hopeful that your problems will soon be behind you. Good luck!</p>
<p>One thing to keep in mind: while staying in school may seem stressful, being home without a clear plan may just make you more depressed. The lack of structure; the worries about falling behind in school; the sudden loneliness since most if not all your friends will still be at their respective schools -- all this can add up. If you feel like you are getting the help you need at school, staying on with a reduced load sounds like a nice compromise and will make you feel like you are succeeding and progressing.</p>
<p>I agree with the above... sometimes the sudden arrival home doesn't help with the depression for exactly the reasons dbwes lists. Also, some kids will suffer anxiety about everyone knowing they are having problems if they come home and take a semester off. While I do not feel there is a stigma attached to a semester off, if the student does, it could weigh them down even more.</p>