<p>aww i love people like this who try to encourage others. a lot of kids our age break down if they don't get into like harvard. it's sad. but thanks for being so optimistic!</p>
<p>i hate people saying "less qualified people" got in while themselves "more qualified" didn't. Who said u were more qualified. Did u read and cmopare ur essay and recs with the other person? Seriously if u were rejected u were less qualified or less appealing or whatever. STop with the condescension. There's more to college admissions than ECs and stats. Really think about the essay. It is the last and very important key to gaining acceptance. While that article did put me in perspective, i can't help resenting that phrase "less qualified."</p>
<p>NYMOMOF4, before you condemn a perceived "cynacism[sic] and cold heartedness" that chills your bones, you need to be on CC longer. I see your first post was on the 19th. Several times each month, at least, you will see people who make up things. It shouldn't be surprising, given people's willingness here to admit to cheating, lying on applications, etc. Indeed, this is a well-known phenonenom on the internet.</p>
<p>Sometimes you can get such a poster dead to rights and they will simply disappear into the woodwork. For instance, not that long ago, there was someone claiming certain statistics and awards. For a number of reasons, I thought his story didn't hold up. So I did some research and found that he couldn't have won a competition when he said he did because the winner hadn't been announced yet.</p>
<p>Other recent posts -- the person who claimed to receive a reject letter saying that he didn't get in because he was too qualified (disappeared after being asked which college this was); the person who said he was told by an adcomm that the ACT is only used as a backdoor to admit unqualified candidates whom they want to admit for nonacademic reasons (same question and disappearance); the person who said that Harvard, another named school, and many other private schools commonly have a page at the end of an application to tell the college how much money you are willing to give them (people piped up that this wasn't true and he disappeared).</p>
<p>Sometimes you can't find a smoking gun. You have to decide if a post just doesn't make sense -- the person can't know what they claim to know, there are unexplained inconsistencies, etc. The usual reaction when people question the parts that don't make sense is to profess innocence and outrage that anyone would question the posts, without explaining anything. This is what has happened here.</p>
<p>dufus, you have been around long enough to understand this phenomenon. Contrary to what you think, I did go through all the OP's other posts. (You perhaps had your suspicions too, since you apparently did the same thing.) I found the previous posts to be few, recent, and short. I think a number have learned that people are skeptical if something is someone's first post. I have come to appreciate your POV, but I think you have missed my point. I didn't say that admission mistakes are impossible, that kids can't get depressed, etc. My point was that I will accept a particular anecdote as true when it has indicia of reliability and makes sense. The more I have read here, the less the story hangs together. You say there is no reason to view the OP as fake. The numerous implausibilities and inconsistencies are enough for me. </p>
<p>The apparent motive is to show us "how vulnerable we all are in this college process and how things have truly spiraled out of control." KellyConn wants us to believe this, and that there are "thousands more" like the boy she describes, including ones who did kill themselves. Uh, a little proof would be warranted. An example of posts where people come up with a story to try to establish a point are the posts every so often of people pretending to be African American, who are really trying to undercut the notion of affirmative action or to make the system seem unfair to everyone else. Most have learned by now that these are bogus.</p>
<p>Since my first posts, I think the story is even less credible. A few examples ...</p>
<p>At first, it is a story "which I [KellyConn] happen to know is true because my Mom use [sic] to work in the same real estate office as the mother of the boy." I point out a number of things about the story that don't make sense. Then we hear that: "The particulars, the drug used, the procedure they did at the hospital, any underlying illness/depression are all UNKNOWNS." If so, why were these things reported as FACT? Indeed, KellyConn originally said that the boy was confident and had an inner peace. It seems she can't keep her story straight, much less make it believable. </p>
<p>She says "maybe each and every fact is not right on the mark." Well, which ones are accurate and which ones aren't? It takes a lot of chutzpah to question MY integrity; I'm not the one who claims to know things are true and then backs off when someone points out they obviously aren't.</p>
<p>Another example ... first we were told of an "extended vacation somewhere sunny and warm." I said this was unlikely. Now we hear the family left "for a few days."</p>
<p>At first, the family had supposedly been successful in keeping it all "hush hush." I pointed out that this was unlikely. Now, we hear "many since have found out" and "the school and community" have been "finding out slowly but surely."</p>
<p>It seems strange to question my compassion, when the family wants something kept quiet, and the OP gave enough details to identify the boy for anybody here who knows him (assuming he exists, that is). I'm actually a pretty empathetic person. I just save it for real people in real situations, not those in poorly plotted and written fictitious anecdotes.</p>
<p>A "tough hearted girl?" No, a lawyer and mother with years of experience at seeing when stories don't have the ring of truth. (Work against public utilities and then pro bono work advocating for special needs children with the school system -- lots of experience with falsehood, I assure you.) Incidentally, I summarized the first post to my husband, another lawyer, without any commentary on my part. He started laughing at how absurd the whole construction was and found it amazing that anyone thought it genuine for a moment. It really does read like a rough draft for a creative writing class.</p>
<p>We've yet to hear how all the college results were supposedly known before most schools have let applicants know. How did he know his NYU result when people are only now beginning to find out (according to the NYU board)? In response to my objection, the original story has been amended with KellyConn "knowing" he applied to a number of Ivies and these results aren't known. So he supposedly acted without even knowing his results at the most prestigious places he applied? Curiouser and curiouser ...</p>
<p>I won't go into all the implausibilities I earlier identified in any more detail. They haven't been answered, because KellyConn said she wouldn't defend the story. When someone doesn't defend her story or says that certain facts aren't important, but instead chooses to attack her critic, this is a sure sign that the story isn't true. I was told not to write back if I didn't have something compassionate to say. It is pretty presumptuous to tell me what I can and cannot write. But so be it. I feel for anyone who finds the need to promulgate false stories on CC.</p>
<p>ISLEBoy, you sound like you really have it together! Your outlook was very refresing to read, thanks for posting! Where are u going to school?</p>
<p>I actually read your post and felt sorry for you, Diane. I don't need to defend my post, I could give a rats a_ _ if you believe it or not. Who are YOU? Yes to all of you others who have a heart, it is a true story, and for the most part all of the details are true, and mostly on the mark, the info has been gathered by my mother and others that know the family. YES the family naturally wanted to keep this under wraps but of course these things seldom can be pushed under a rug and qutie a few people especially within the school have found out. I do think its the original legacy rejection that pushed him over, but who knows, I am sure there were many other factors including a possible predisposition to being vulneralbe,unstable...........people have since started speculating as news travels fast, and I am not going to list anything more as I am not sure how much is true, but I do know that was reported earlier is a factual story and moreover, the point was that we should all take a deep breath, look at our own lives and priorities, and realize in the realm of things, this is just one stage of many to come in our lives, we will all go to school and I am confident we will all succeed. And Diane, considering this site is largely dominated by students, why don't you get a life? Many through private messaging posted that they think you have a deeper issue, and you know what, I think they are right! YOu have spent more time talking about the stupidest details, than getting the jist of the story.....SAD, DIANE!</p>
<p>I agree the story is really sad. But, I do need to defend DianeR a bit. If she saw something that didn't make sense, she checked it out. I have done that. She checked out the medical part of the story, and to have accuarate information on what to do in an emergency is important. </p>
<p>That is why doctors want to know what someone ODd on, they are handled differently.</p>
<p>i am not going to go into the merits of this story, I have no problem with checking out stuff that people post on this site</p>
<p>what happens here, on CC, is often people don't always tell the truth about stats, acceptances, why i have no idea, but there is no harm in seeing if something makes sense or not</p>
<p>that being said, everyone needs to remember that this college frenzy is created in us, and while its an awful process, remember that the application is rejected, not the person, and to be kind to each other</p>
<p>I am rather amused by this story. </p>
<p>If the kid can't handle a rejection, why the heck would he be able to handle a top-tier college? I'm glad he's not taking someone else's spot who would actually be able to handle the stress and the workload. </p>
<p>by the way, we don't know anything about the kid, i.e. SATs, GPA, etc. A 'natural leader' could probably define 90% of all students. I mean, if he can't get into NYU, he should never be looking at schools like Cornell in the first place. No wonder he got rejected- he is severely underqualified.</p>
<p>Ranger, point well taken. Perhaps he was unstable and there were underlying issues. Who knows? This story was not shared to be ripped apart on the details, but rather to remind us all that we are all vulnerable to this process, and to not let it get the best of us. I know when I got that first rejection, I felt numb, and a bit down for a day or two. I mean I could never see it getting to the point where he did, but none of really know all the details, and you are right, he being that weak, would not have been able to tackle the everyday challenges of a top tier school, so maybe although it was a very sad way to find out, this was the silver lining, that he will hopefully end up in a school where he will be and feel nurtured and not overly pressured. I think however the pressure largely came from a very high overachieving successful family, it can't be easy when you are the first to "break the chain", but clearly it shouldn't be a matter of life and death either.</p>
<p>What a split group here..........I agree with kellyconn she is just trying to share a story to put the college process in a different context and how extreme the pressure can be, I don't think there is anything within the story that sounds "fishy" maybe it wasn't antibiotics, maybe they didn't go somewhere sunny and warm, who cares about those rediculous mentions? The moral is keep this in perspective, guys and girls. This too shall pass.</p>
<p>
[quote]
dufus, you have been around long enough to understand this phenomenon. Contrary to what you think, I did go through all the OP's other posts. (You perhaps had your suspicions too, since you apparently did the same thing.)
[/quote]
Actually I had noticed that kellyconn was making some good posts before DianeR said anything and then looked back at more after DianeR had said something. I can't see anything really wrong with the OP or the point of faking it, and these things obviously do happen.</p>
<p>Well, there is no need to belabor this anymore. When all you get is ad hominem attacks in response to factual and logical arguments, I think the point has been made. </p>
<p>I have not attributed evil motives to anyone here. If anything, I think the OP wanted people to see the big picture and not worry so much or overreact when decisions come out. Admirable, but I do disagree with her approach. My approach has been to tell people to relax and that they can be successful no matter where they go to college, and to give them whatever helpful advice I can from having gone through the process twice with my own children. That is my only motivation to being on CC. I find helping people motivating -- and yes, I've had a number of people thank me.</p>
<p>Sorry, dufus. I don't accept that "these things obviously do happen." I've never heard of any confirmed instance (e.g., in the media rather than "I heard this happened" sort of gossip) and it strikes me as psychologically unlikely. My sister was a school psychologist for decades and never ran across a case of suicide, attempted suicide, or true depression triggered by a couple of adverse college admission decisions, much less in someone who was psychologically healthy (the original claim, to show everyone is at risk presumably) and someone who supposedly has more than one acceptance already and has other applications outstanding! Perhaps there is a germ of reality here, but who can tell what is really true through multiple layers of hearsay and rumor (notice how the story is not now his mother told her mother, but that the story has been pieced together from multiple sources). Even the OP won't commit to a core set of facts.</p>
<p>I think overdramatizing a modest disappointment to someone belittles those in families, such as I've known, who have dealt with real problems, like medical fragility, deafness, autism, retardation, bipolar disorder, Tourette's Syndrome, ADHD, dyslexia, central auditory processing disorder, and the like. My own children needed years of special education and assorted therapies. OK, neither got into their ED schools and each was waitlisted too. Boo hoo. They are extremely lucky in being able to overcome their problems and now doing well in fine colleges.</p>
<p>Obviously, this is one of those urban myths people want to believe is true. If the facts don't make sense, well then, who cares about them? If the story changes, again who cares? But one thing I've learned in my life is that you rarely can combat a myth, particularly once people have declared themselves. In normal circumstances, inconsistencies, impossibilities, and implausibilities, together with a shifting target, lead people to question the credibility of a story. If people want to believe it, though, it is futile. </p>
<p>So this is my last post on this subject. Believe whatever you like -- and I wish everyone good luck in the upcoming week. I am now unsubscribing from this thread.</p>
<p>kellyconn:</p>
<p>Waiting to hear from a few more schools....but the options are:</p>
<p>Trinity
Reed
Carleton (likely letter)
Middlebury
Hamilton
Haverford
Sewanee
Colby
Bowdoin
Davidson
Grinnell
Union (waiting)
Wesleyan (likely letter)</p>
<p>UWashington (in-state)
UPenn (waiting)
Dartmouth (waiting)
Columbia (waiting)
Princeton (waiting)
Brown (waiting)</p>
<p>The schools in the Ivy League were definately not my idea. Parents put extreme pressure on me to apply since the both went that route--although at different schools. I chose not to apply at their respective alma maters because then there would be absolutely no way that I'd be able to go anywhere else. They like to ask me several times a day why the larger schools are less interesting to me, ostensibly to understand where I'm coming from. I even have a long list posted on my door so that I don't need to keep reiterating. Funny, huh?! And, I would not have bothered to apply to so many except CC freaked me out a little with the stats, and my parents felt the pressure from others to make sure I got in at least somwhere "decent". If I had my way, I'd stop at the first part of the list.</p>
<p>My best fit schools would be the LACs. How about you?
IB</p>
<p>PS--That is why I'm surprised that some do not have empathy for the guy in your story. I've felt the pressure, so I can see how it would feel. It's always there--at home and at school. What I'm thinking is that they may not be as familiar with how hyper cometitive applicants have to be if they come from the East Coast corridor or the population centeres on the West Coast (not so much Portland, but the others).</p>
<p>ISLE....The best of luck, you have an awesome group of schools to choose from and know that any of them will be lucky to have you! </p>
<p>DIANE, I do pity you...for some weird reason this story hit a nerve with you and a few people have commented on this to me privately that they too think you have an "issue" of some sort, if so I am sorry for that. I could give a rats a_ _ if you believe me, so no need to post it anymore. NO ONE CARES! I have not though, for the record changed my story one bit except to take the responsibility to say that some facts possibly have gotten miscontrued but details not facts, and the facts remain. And YES although my mom was the original person who "broke" this story to me, I have since heard about it, as anyone would expect through other sources, kids from his schools and neighboring schools have latched onto this story and somewhat sensationalized it, is the right thing to do? NO, is it what our culture does every day, YES. There was also likely some underlying issues with him that we do not know about. But it is clear as per his mom that the early rejection was what set this off, who knows what else was going on, a bad grade, a breakup with a girlfriend, etc.........but that is not for YOU to judge. If you don't want to see the story for what it is, a glimpse into how far this whole process can go, and what it can do to someone who is vulnerable to buckling under pressure, then go to another thread and SHUT UP, we have heard quite enough. Now go and get a life.</p>
<p>Diane one more footnote, I am the OP. And the core facts remain, I said some of the details could have been a little off, but the FACTS are the FACTS, and I frankly don't care how you want to analyze them, did you do this to your kids too while they were at home? WOW, they could have been some of those that felt the pressure if this is any indication of your personality. YIKES!</p>
<p>kelly:</p>
<p>Interesting how some are not very empathetic to other peoples plight. Doesn't bode well for us as a society, does it?! Scary.</p>
<p>As for my schools...the secret is that I'd go to Union College in a heartbeat, if I get accepted. It is the best fit. My parents will have a fit, since they only know some of the LACs that I applied to (used my summer earnings to pay for some of the others, those outside the top 15). I sense much arm-twisting and intense pressure. </p>
<p>The day of reconning is very close, I can't wait. I'm sure things will be okay, but they'll be fireworks first.</p>
<p>IB.</p>
<p>PS--It's strange that Diane does not think it could happen or is possible, never mind that smart college kids also commit suicide because of pressure as well, even when they go to schools which are in the top 20, which "should" make them better able to cope. I've also had prep school friends who tried to end their life but did not succeed, thankfully. Scary, but yet at the same time close. Could have been any number of friends.</p>
<p>so true Isle,so true. My options are at this point, Indiana-Bloomington The Kelly school of business (part scholarship), Michigan Ann Arbor, Bentley Business College, waitlisted at BU/BC, think I would only BU and waiting to hear from UCSD and GW, my first choice. If I don't get into GW, its likely between Kelly at Indiana or Bentley, both great business schools, one being huge and not in a city, and the other being medium sized and within 5 minutes to Boston. I feel like celebrating to be normal,alive have a few choices and not have parents that are putting such intense pressure on me. So you mean you applied to some schoos without your parents knowing? You sound like a very determined, in a good way guy! Good for you, I commend you knowing what you want. I really wish you much luck, keep me posted!</p>
<p>Just had to post that I got two more private messages THANKING ME for sharing the story, and that they both can relate to his feelings. So there, DIANE!</p>
<p>Kelly:</p>
<p>Will do. Indiana U I like a lot. Have a few friends there. The B-school is awesome. UMichigan is amazing too. Like the feel of Indiana a little better than UMichigan, but that is subjective. Good luck with GW and UCSD.</p>
<p>Thank you for sharing the story; It just reminded me to keep things in perspective, and look for depression in some of my friends. I forget that we can all be impressionable. And, yes--my parents don't know about Sewanee, Trinity, Reed or Union. They believe the cut-off should be the top 20. Crazy, I know. Just hoping that Union will see fit to include me in their first-year class.</p>
<p>Thank you for the good wishes. I'll keep you posted. Enjoy what's left of our last year in HS. :)</p>
<p>IB.</p>
<p>The media doesn't like to report suicides for fear of causing copycat behavior. I worked at the area subway and several suicides occurred each year by people jumping in front of trains. These were never announced over the PA system or reported in the media. Also several high bridges in the area even had to have nets installed under the railing. The installation of the nets was reported, but the suicides leading up to it were never reported. The American Foundations for Suicide Prevention posts recommendations to the media about when to report such stories. They want reporters to print the damaging effects of suicide on family and friends instead of the facts of the case. There website is at:</p>
<p>According to the following website, suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for people between 15 and 24 years old. About 12 people die every day from suicide in that age group. This doesn't count suicide attempts.</p>
<p>On a lot of college campuses, it is very well known when somebody dies from suicide and this is discussed in the college papers and the media. Whenever there is a cluster of such incidents, the college administration points out out a serious ongoing concern it is for them.</p>
<p>isle are your friends at kelly? when you say B school, do you mean Bentley? What do u know about it? I know very little, other than its on the rise.........keep us posted of your decisions, we will too!</p>