My oldest sister has always been my biggest inspiration.
At the age of 18, she went to the United States to study by herself. Back then, I was 6. I did not understand how hard it was for her. Years later, I accidentally discovered a bunch of letters that she had written to our family when she was at boarding school. Spending all evening rereading her letters, I could not help admiring the bravery and independence that she had built up in order to cope with all the hardships in a foreign land. How could she live alone in the dorm? How could she overcome discrimination toward Asians? How could… Tons of “how-could” questions made me realize that my sister was definitely my role model. Moreover, while reading those letters, I began to feel ashamed of myself: I always waited for reminders to do things and was completely dependent on my parents.
Then, I changed. I learned to be like her, more mature and more responsible.
That sudden decision was definitely not an easy one to reach for a coddled girl like me. It was hard waking up without the call from my father, to make up my bed and clean up the room without my mother’s reminder, to do my homework instead of copying my friend’s work, to resist myself from pointless games or movies, and many more. Having gone through that process, I realized that I was so indulgent with myself that I could not properly handle those simple things. In time, I got used to those new habits and strived to do everything by myself. Whenever I felt discouraged or dispirited, I remembered something that my sister used to say: “Improvement brings profits so never stop improving to be the greatest.” Slowly, I noticed that I was actively taking more responsibility for myself.
In addition, my sister had once said that one of the marks for maturity was the ability to make decisions and follow through on them. Hence, I tried to prove to her and to myself that I could do that. For instance, I decided to quit all of my extra classes which has always been a cultural norm in Vietnam. Unfortunately, I faced intense opposition from my parents and sisters. After my persistent persuasion, they gave me a chance to prove myself. I knew it would be a great challenge but I was motivated by sister. I poured all of my dedication into studying in class and at home. Surprisingly, my grades improved. I realized that I just needed to concentrate fully on lessons in school so the extra classes would not be necessary. By the time I had successfully convinced my family, I could understand the importance of decision-making and commitment.
Throughout the process of changing and maturing, it was my sister who motivated me to change and figure out where I needed to grow. These were hard lessons that I could not learn at school but they gave me experiences I needed in order to discover myself.