One of the things that goes along with being an athletic recruit is that they sometimes need to head to school early to start practicing. S19 just left today on a 20 hour drive to school. Fortunately for him a friend he knows through his sport (and headed to the same school) flew to our house a few days ago, and they are doing the drive the rest of the way together.
S and I have both been dealing with this in the most sterotypically male way possible, i.e. not at all. Reality still hasn’t hit me, and he travels enough for his sport that it might not hit for a week or 2. But pretty soon it’s going to sink in that he isn’t coming back in a few weeks this time.
Proud, happy, excited for him and depressed today. Just depends on which minute we are talking about. I frequently say if you do your job correctly, as a parent you will eventually work your way out of a job. I know he isn’t gone forever, but today was a big step that direction.
Awww, hang tight pops. Your son is going early, which makes it hard. Try to focus on the positive. This is a very exciting time for your son, and if he’s made good decisions, it’s all going to be a wonderful experience for him.
I was so sad when D left for college nearly three years ago. I now realize it’s been the best thing that ever happened to her. Hopefully it will be the same for your son.
For sure things do change, as they should. I have a sneaking suspicion, however, that you will never work you way out of a job. The job description just changes.
Last year when we dropped our son off at college, i wrote " this is harder and sadder than I thought . . . . but it would be sadder, and harder if he *wasn’t * going to college." It is tough! Can you focus on planning to visit during Parents Weekend?
I know precisely how you feel. On the positive side, it goes by in an eye blink man, and I just returned from watching my son graduate at a place where I swear I dropped him off yesterday. For a bit of symmetry, our boys probably will or have passed each other on the highway, since my son spent the last two days on your son’s new campus meeting with a professor about starting his PhD next fall.
On a more serious note, social media helps a bit with keeping in touch, and realistically you will see your son frequently at tournaments, so it is a bit easier of a transition than with non athlete kids. But it is still a change, and it will take some time to get used to.
Thanks for the kind comments. I know many of you have been through a slightly different version of this same story.
After a somewhat restless night for me, he arrived this morning. I wanted them to get a hotel, but they wanted to drive straight through (which is what I would do at 18 too). 21 hours, I don’t think they stopped more than 10 minutes at a time the whole way. At least now the car is there, and my plan is that it won’t return for at least 4 years. Flights home from here on out.
I certainly expect that this will be a good thing for him. It’s a phenomenal opportunity, both athletically and academically. And he’s super excited. I think they probably drove straight through because they are starting their new adventure and were going to be too excited to sleep anyway.
He will return here briefly before classes start, so it is only a couple months this time. After that I’m guessing I wont see him until December. But the reality that he doesn’t really live here anymore, and may never be here for more than a couple weeks at a time really hit me yesterday.
I was talking to a local dad who sent his son to the same school for the save sport 20 years ago. He talked about how hard it was to not see very many competitions. @Ohiodad51 is spot on about what the internet has done there. I think I can watch almost every competition online. There is only 1 I’m not sure about, everyone else is broadcast, and that one probably will be too. That will definitely make it easier on me. Plus FaceTime, etc. When I did this to my parents for law school, I talked to them on the phone every Sunday night, that was pretty much the only contact we had.
Enjoy that new ESPN+ subscription, lol.
Most of my daughter’s games were streamed (sometimes for a fee). She also played most games at home (and those were streamed for free).
The coach also subscribed to a service where the the games could be watched later, and sometimes (if the software was working) could break down plays and players. The really nerdy parents (me) would watch them over and over. The announcers were either really good so I could learn things or really, really bad (especially our home announcer) so I’d turn off the sound. The coach could link any game to her list, so she’d have big D1 games or upcoming opponents. It was like having my own little lacrosse network.
Lol, facetimed with him about an hour ago. He definitely looks like he has been up more than 24 hours. (I think he slept about 3 hours at some point while his buddy was driving, that’s it since 7:00 yesterday morning) He’s going to practice this afternoon, I’m sure that will be rough.
Welcome to college athletics!
And if you can find a cheap flight there sometime fall semester, it’ll go a long way towards heartening you. in the case of my kid, he wasn’t a recruited athlete but he was a debater on the national circuit and I often went with the team to serve as a judge. When he left, I not only missed him terribly but my weekends of traveling and being with he and his friends was gone in an instant as well. I imagine you attended most of his high school events in person so that’s ahead for you as well. it gets easier. 
Yep, my schedule will radically change. Not sure who is taking his HS teammates to a couple of the off season tournaments now that I’m out of the picture. Plus of the 2 kids I still have at home one doesn’t do travel sports and the other is taking off the fall travel season, due to too many conflicts with a different HS sport that doesn’t require regular overnight travel. So many less hotel nights in my future this year.
I’m tentatively planning on flying to 2 tournaments this year, 3 if he makes Nationals. Probably I will try to go up another time, but I think he is going to be a bit overwhelmed with the increase in academic difficulty on top of his athletic commitments, so I hate to visit him during the school year and make him feel obligated to entertain me instead of studying. I’ll probably reevaluate second semester, but don’t plan on going up at all first semester.