It is too long. They want clear and concise. Read the guidelines again - that’s your rubric for this essay.
https://admit.washington.edu/apply/applied/appeal/
They are not going to admit you simply because they do not want to crush your dreams. They reject half of applicants–they know they have to disappoint people. Saying you are “unfathomably defeated” rather than simply disappointed is not a point in your favor. It simply comes off as overwrought.
- Update them on your accomplishments since your sent the app in in November. Do not repeat any information already in your application.
- Paragraph 2 says you're applying to the medical school. That's not even an undergraduate major. Did you mean pre-med (if so which major?) or perhaps nursing?
- Use the optional letter of recommendation to speak to your work ethic and academic and extracurricular potential. Sometimes having an outside voice say you're hardworking and of good character is more believable.
Have a teacher or your guidance counselor read everything over before you submit. If you haven’t figured out your backup plan if the appeal doesn’t work, discuss that with your counselor, too.