<p>Please review and critique the letter I am working on</p>
<p>Dear University of Washington Admissions,</p>
<pre><code> I was placed on the freshman waitlist March 20th. In hopes of receiving direct admission instead, I request that the admissions board review this appeal.
Throughout high school I’ve had a positively increasing weighted grade trend. Although my unweighted GPA is admittedly low, I feel that this number doesn’t accurately describe me. I’ve chosen to challenge myself repeatedly throughout high school increasing the rigor of my coursework substantially since sophomore year. The letters of recommendation I’ve included can attest to my hard working attitude. Although I didn’t receive the best grades, I chose to challenge myself again this year and attempt to prepare for the rigors of college. I’m currently enrolled in 5 AP classes and have maintained a weighted 4.0 GPA while simultaneously being a CIF qualifier and Captain on my cross country team. As well as running I am vice president of the surf rider club and the treasurer for the cycling club.
This previous summer I had the opportunity to work as an outpatient coordinator for the Loloma foundation in Fiji. I was able to spend hundreds of hours working alongside physicians helping to diagnose and treat patients. The University of Washington medical center is a perfect catalyst for me to pursue a career in the medical field. Also the University of Washington is one of the few colleges in America which offers an extensive scandinavian studies department, being Norwegian I would love to be able to expand my knowledge of my ethnic background.
My older brother currently attends university of Washington and loves it, I’ve visited him multiple times and have fallen in love with the city of Seattle and especially the University of Washington.
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<pre><code> I was placed on the freshman waitlist March 20th. In hopes of receiving direct admission instead, I request that the admissions board review this appeal.
Throughout high school I’ve consistently increased my weighted GPA. Although my unweighted GPA is admittedly low, I feel that this number doesn’t accurately describe me. I’ve chosen to challenge myself repeatedly in high school increasing the rigor of my coursework substantially since sophomore year. The letters of recommendation I’ve included can attest to my hard working attitude. I chose to challenge myself again this year and enroll in 5 AP classes. I’ve managed to maintain a weighted 4.0 GPA while simultaneously qualifying for CIF and being Captain of my cross country team. As well as cross country I was involved with other groups such as surf rider and the cycling club. In addition to these activities, I’ve maintained a part time job after school.
This previous summer I had the opportunity to work as an outpatient coordinator for the Loloma foundation in Fiji. I was able to spend hundreds of hours working alongside physicians helping to diagnose and treat patients. The University of Washington medical center is a perfect catalyst for me to pursue a career in the medical field. Also the University of Washington is one of the few colleges in America which offers an extensive scandinavian studies department, being Norwegian I would love to be able to expand my knowledge of the language and culture of my parents.
My older brother Ryan is currently a sophomore at University of Washington. His enjoyment of his experience at UW is one of the primary motivators behind my desire to pursue my undergraduate studies there as well. Ryan has found the course offerings at UW substantial and diverse. He’s also found the teaching staff to be truly committed to your education. Although there was an initial adjustment period to the weather he’s discovered and learned to enjoy many of the unique outdoor activities available in the Seattle area.
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<p>First, have you ascertained whether the school even accepts such appeals? Many don’t. I suspect what you need to be submitting is not an appeal, but a letter stating that UW is your first choice, that you will definitely attend if offered a spot off the waitlist, and lisitng any new positive information. There’s no reason to repeat anything that was already part of your application, and certainly no reason to remind the reader that your GPA is low. Your last paragraph adds nothing of substance. The admissions folks already know you have a sibling there and don’t care how much he likes it.</p>
<p>UW does have an appeal process. Why tell someone something that is a guess. The process is on the website. Read it all including all the notes and examples for all kinds of student appeals because some provide more examples of what they want in an appeal. Make sure you answer all of the questions very directly. It is late still so get the appeal in now if they still are taking them. The appeal needs to give solid examples of achievements with qualifying details to given them a feel for the measurement of the effort involved. The poor grades can be mentioned but you need to substantiate why they are not an indication of future performance as well as explain the good reason the grades were low and not due to neglect. Package your appeal with very strong letters - three of them and any other school authentic records showing performance and effort. The instructions state what Is admissible. In the letter, be humble. Open with a thank you. Get your admissions counselor advice and high school counselor advise. Prove your strength with testimonies. But most of all show the facts with measurements and proof and sincerity. I would talk more about the work you did in the field and what you learned. How does it apply to your intended study and perspective of learning and intended science area of study. Be memorable by being believable and interesting. Show your heart. That’s what we did and it worked. We prayed a lot too. </p>