i’ve been a good student in high school. took 8 ap classes, had good grades, worked very hard for a good SAT score, etc. i was in the “gifted” program in elementary school, and since then my parents have always said stuff like “you’re going places” and “i wonder where you’ll end up.” now, as a senior, i got a little too cocky and ended up getting rejected from 9 out of 13 schools. i applied to good schools all over the country, but now i’ll just end up going to a midwest state school that so many people at my school go to. i’ve disappointed myself and i feel like i didn’t live up to my parents’ expectations— i think we both saw myself doing something awesome across the country, going my own path and having an amazing time doing it. but now i feel like i’m barely leaving this place, not to mention going to a school that pretty much anyone can get into. i just feel like a failure, and i wish i could do-over my whole application process.
The good work you did in high school will help you do better in college.
It’s ok to feel disappointed that something didn’t go the way you hoped it would. In time, it will pass and hopefully you’ll get excited about the opportunity you have in front of you. Because it is an opportunity.
Think about all of the ways you can take advantage of being at your state school. You’ll save money traveling, and probably on tuition. Maybe that will leave resources to study abroad for a year or do some work experience travel during the summer. Your new friends are there, too! People you never would have met otherwise. The people from your school will fade quickly away as you get to know your roommate, floor mates, club members.
What classes do you want to take? Does your state school take your AP credit, leaving you more space in your schedule for electives? Does being well prepared for the rigor of college mean you have time and energy to pick up a new sport or hobby?
There’s so much you have to look forward to! I remember going off to college (in state, public school) and every day was an adventure. I had a blast. It’s a special time in your life… don’t spend a second more thinking about this crazy, ridiculous application process!
What’s wrong with a Midwest state school?
I’ve got news for you - there’s smart kids at most every school - especially flagships. Perhaps you’re starting a semester ahead due to AP or you’re in Honors. Seek out research opportunities, etc. Perhaps you got a great scholarship. Perhaps this was the affordable school and the other three didn’t work $$ wise.
Your life will be what you make of it. Your school - whether Stanford or Southern Missouri State - won’t make it for you.
Tons and tons of successful people have come out of schools like yours.
Keep a good head and you’ll be fine.
If you were a strong student in high school, then this will help you be an even stronger student in university. You might be at an in-state school with a few students who were not quite as strong, but there will be quite a few very strong students who are very much like you at nearly any university.
I went to a highly ranked university for my master’s degree (Stanford). There were a LOT of other students in the same program who had attended their in-state public university for their bachelor’s degree. They came from a very wide range of universities all over the USA. They (or more correctly we) all had two things in common. One was that we could afford to get our master’s degree (attending an in-state public school should help you in this regard). The other thing that we had in common is that we all did very well as undergraduate students. Getting good grades, seeking out research and/or internship opportunities, and getting to know your professors will all help you. If you are one of the stronger students in your university, then you will need to prove this by doing well in university classes that are tougher than high school classes, but doing well will help you find these good research opportunities.
Then when you graduate and are looking for a job, there is a very good chance that you will be speaking to at least some hiring managers who years ago graduated from the same university.
This is exactly right. The most successful people that I have ever met had graduated from a very, very wide range of universities.
I recommend the book “Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be: An Antidote to the College Admissions Mania” by Frank Bruni. Bruni asks everyone to take a collective deep breath and realize that admission to any given school does not guarantee success, happiness or meaning. “The nature of a student’s college experience - the work that he or she puts into it, the skills he or she picks up, the self-examination that’s undertaken, the resourcefulness that’s honed - matters more than the name of the institution attended.”
My husband (National Merit Semifinalist) went to a midwestern school, U of Illinois in Champaign. He had a wonderful experience and made fantastic lifelong friends. I hope you do too.
be happy my friend, make full use of the resources at college and enjoy the valuable and only-once college life, or if u still feel disappointed you can transfer!!! All roads lead to Rome! Also, a college cant define your ability, and I believe our abilities are all infinite!!
No excuses but this was a very tough cycle for acceptances. 4 wins is great. Stress the positive and not the negative. So are you saying your a big fish in a small pond and or you applied to too many reaches that didn’t seem like reaches at the time? Either way right now it doesn’t matter. There are excellent students at all schools. Be active on campus. Internships /jobs look for active students. My daughter did a program in college with kids from Stanford, Beloit college, Harvard, Berkley and other small colleges. My daughter went to Beloit and never felt out of place. They were just all good students from differnt schools. Midwest state schools outcomes also are very good even in comparison to the Ivys. You’ll be fine.
Sorry you were disappointed but keep in mind:
– So many people all over the world would give almost anything for the chance at a 4 year college education at a major US university. Take advantage of all the opportunities you will have there.
–Do not allow a group of admissions officers who never met you and who looked at your application for maybe 10-15 minutes to define your self worth.
Go forth and do great things.
Your hard work in HS will mean you will have an easier transition to college. You’ve already gotten great advice but you can shine, achieve, and go anywhere from the school where you committed.
FWIW, my D had similar academics - gifted programs, tons of APs, high stats and her top choices for schools were big public’s but because they were super for her major and had the vibe she wanted. She’s surrounded by equally smart, high achieving kids, at her Midwest flagship.
Continue to work hard, enjoy your time, and rise to the top again.
You haven’t failed, you were accepted to 4 schools. That’s a win.
As many have pointed out here, you can have fantastic outcomes from “midwestern” schools, and life is a marathon and not a sprint. Most midwestern state schools will provide you opportunities that you can’t all use.
i know two 2021 HS grads; both with 36 Acts - and national merit finalists - who are attending midwest state schools. For them . . . the price was right. And I’m sure they will do well!
Midwest state schools are there to serve the small population midwest states; the schools can’t be exclusive because they dont have the numbers of kids in those states to become exclusive.
But you’ll find kids of all levels at these schools. And some of these kids will do really well going on. It’s up to you on your next steps. Enjoy and good luck!
We are in a very similar situation. Everything everyone is saying is 100% true, but it still stings. Especially this time of year, when high schools have college commit t- shirt days or other celebrations that make it difficult to move on. Given this season of results, I think even some teachers are shocked at where the kids end up going to and that alone can increase disappointment. My hope is that once this year is over, it’s easier to focus on the benefits of the school selected. As everyone has said, often kids that are at these schools do better in the long run and are quite happy. Other than that, just wanted to share that we hear you and I’m sure lots of kids are feeling the same. Your work, effort and diligence is what makes us successful and will carry you forward.
Congratulations on your HS success. I mean that! Working hard and accomplishing things, as you have done, is a great thing. It’s about the journey, not the destination. What you’ve learned about yourself along the way will continue to drive you as you succeed in college regardless of where you attend. In reality, it’s about you, not the brand of your university.
As an example, I’m the youngest of three kids. All three of us attended out state U. Oldest brother was a chemical engineer / econ major. Got a great job. Went on to get a Harvard MBA, major consulting, corp CEO, etc. Middle brother was a psych, zoology major. Went on to get a PhD in neuro science and is a major consultant to the FAA and FTC. I was a communications major and shifted to business. Have owned my own successful company for over 20 yrs.
All of this from state U. The name brands are great. But you can do anything from anywhere. Discover your interests. Seek out Profs who will help you take a deep dive. They will love working with you ,and you might find it kind of nice if they see you as an exceptional student / scholar. That could open up many unique doors. Seriously.
This is hard to implement, but going forward, try to be less concerned about perception and how you think others view your accomplishments. Stay focused on what you want to accomplish and take pride / find join in the journey. You’ll ultimately do really cool things!
Best of luck to you and, again, congrats for knocking it out of the park!
Your great accomplishments remain the same! You have confidence in your abilities as student and I can tell by your post that you are a thoughtful, reflective person. You will meet with success at your new school.
I think we all worry too much about status and what others think. Make the most of where you go. Look for opportunities to be happy.
Trust that your path is the right path for you. There are great friends, great experiences waiting for you! Be there for them and enjoy!
your feelings are understandable but, your experience there will be what you make of it… if you go in thinking looking for opportunity and excellence, you will find it… if you focus on about how crappy the school it will fulfill your expectation that way too.
It might help to google X State U distinguished alumni - I have no idea which school you are talking about but I guarantee you will find a long list of people who found a way to succeed in a variety of fields who attended/graduated.
As a parent who is wondering, just a little, if you are my kid, I have to say, I’m not actually disappointed in you.
I’m disappointed in “the system”. And I’m disappointed in this particular year’s vagaries of admission related to pandemic slush of gap years and yields and making up for last year’s overenrollment.
And, actually, the college you got into, it actually looks like a pretty sweet deal. After you finish college, most employers are just looking for “college degree in field”. And, honestly, if you had “brand name college”, they might think you wouldn’t stick around long, so you might not get a job there anyway.
I still think you’ll do great things. And we’re gonna save money on airplane tickets that we can maybe spend on slightly nicer living spaces than 4-plex dorms. Or other things that would be “nice to have”, but not vital for the college experience.
For me, the biggest thing is to look at what the college has. And stop comparing it to what the other college might have been.
Life isn’t set in stone at 18. You can usually go anywhere from any college. Just remember that.
And try to build out a life that you want to lead. Your life is about making yourself happy, not about posting impressive things on social media.
There are some great stories of people who came from very humble beginnings and did some cool things. Read the life story of Oprah for example. Or so many others.
Doing well where you land is the best course. Remember there will be many kids who go to some impressively named school and find it’s not a fit for them.
No need to feel disappointed in yourself. You did amazingly at high school. I am certain that your application materials were also great.
However, once you sent out your applications, it is no longer dependent on you. The fact that your applications were rejected from some colleges is based on the decisions of some AOs, not on anything you did.
Remember that there were 2,000,000 or so students applying to colleges, so the top 10% academically are 200,000 students, which is far more students than there are places in the colleges to which you applied. That means that the AOs need to make admissions decisions that are not related to how well students did in high school.
It is disappointing, and it is OK to be disappointed with the entire situation. However, the decisions are not the result of any shortcomings on your part, or because anything that you did wasn’t good enough. You did everything right, you are good enough, but the decisions weren’t based on anything that was within your power to change.
You didn’t fail, you didn’t drop the ball, so you have no reason to be disappointed with yourself.
You did very well in high school. Did you need to be at an “elite” private high school in order for you to achieve all of that? No - you did all of that while attending a good public high school.
So why do you think that you need to attend an “elite” private college in order to achieve great things in college?
Think about it this way.
- You could be one of the better students at the schools that accepted you.
- Large state schools have tons of alumni.
I remember a co-worker’s daughter went to Seton Hall (which is not highly ranked). However, she was one of their best students and landed internships at a couple of Fortune 100 companies and got a job at Pfizer straight out of college.