@bayareaboymom 's son wasn’t happy with his admissions results so took a gap year and applied again. Here is her post in on the UCSB thread.
Everyone parents differently. Personally, I would give her time to kick and scream and then tell her it is time to get over it, look forward, and make a decision about what she wants to do with her future. Have you told her that you don’t want to invest the money into something that you don’t feel she will appreciate?