<p>We are very surprised by the consistently negative reactions from our parent peers when we mentioned our S going to BS this fall. </p>
<p>We had no idea that many parents would voice it as criticism of their own parenting choices-- WOW...</p>
<p>Any of you have similar reactions, and how do you respond?</p>
<p>I’d just address it as something that works well for your child and one of many good alternatives that kids have these days. Once you start comparing the BS to what they’re doing, you have a hassle on your hands. Best to cast it as a personal choice.</p>
<p>I let people know that it was son’s choice, and that I had either done something wonderful or terrible to make him so independent. Often I had to add that our public school was outstanding but just not the high school experience he wanted. Fortunately, I live in an area in which it is not unheard of for high schoolers to go to boarding school. Ditto independent day schools, although our public schools are quite good.</p>
<p>Sheesh - it took me forever to find this! [url=<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-parents/914019-peer-reactions.html]Here[/url”>Peer Reactions - Prep School Parents - College Confidential Forums]Here[/url</a>] is a great thread on some of the negative things people say . . . and some of CC parents’ clever responses!</p>
<p>Thanks all for the help! Glad also to learn that we aren’t the only ones receiving discouraging remarks</p>
<p>This forum offers comfort to BS parents from the naysayers who should say nothing if they have nothing nice to say.</p>
<p>Welcome to the “bad parent for sending your child away” club. We, however, are having the last laugh and aren’t “Waiting for Superman” anymore!</p>
<p>My D chose this path herself, and is having the time of her life.</p>
<p>Here…here! I get the same remarks as well, when I mention we are considering boarding school. If they mention the usual comments, just say 'that is an old stereotype." People have become downright angry with me, and then wonder why I don’t share info. Thank goodness for CC :)</p>
<p>How timely! JUST walked in the door from an afternoon outing with a friend who told me I am “an elitist who thinks that the schools aren’t good enough” when they were good enough for her kids. I’d heard this before, but not this close to home. I understand that it can be threatening to those who like to think they did everything right to hear about BS, but I had hoped my friends who be more open-minded. It IS so nice to know there are so many of us hearing these things. But it’s isolating too :(</p>
<p>@wcmom: “an elitist who thinks the schools aren’t good enough”? Is this person speaking about the local PS? Is there there ANYONE who thinks they’re good enough? Is there another part of the economy that consumes such massive resources so ineffectively? Wow!</p>
<p>In my area the Local PS’s are great !</p>
<p>“Funny” story … Local sheriff, family friend (not too intimate), son good friends with our son… knew son went off to bs. After about six months we see him at social function and he asks (loudly for all to hear) “SO! How is it working out for that boy you had to send away?”</p>
<p>Could’ve crawled under the carpet, but dear partner smiled wide and said “Excellent. He is elected class leader, varisty in XY and AB, and has never been happier or more academically challenged.” </p>
<p>Yeah, we are from a small southern town 
LOL!</p>
<p>After two years of being away from ‘home’ my son no longer cares to initiate contact with his old friends. He says “Mom, they cannot relate to my life or the way I think.” I am glad he has had this broadening exposure. I am sad that my friends are so narrow minded that they cannot see outside their box. (And many could afford bs, but only at the expense of their own SUV/Vacation home/new bathroom or kitchen, etc. and their priorities for spending their $$ are different than ours.)</p>
<p>It isn’t easy, but when you see the changes in your child, the friends they make and the wordly mindset they embrace - you will never look back. </p>
<p>Great to have CC for positive feedback - thanks!</p>
<p>@Krao… the public schools here used to be good, and there are no private HS options. It’s just not PC around here to acknowledge how much things have deteriorated. After I submitted that last post I got a call from an art teacher who has said critical things to me before about having my kids in private school (there is a good K-8 option). She is now bemoaning the lack of art in schools. I get things like this all the time “there’s no art,” “My kids never have their writing corrected” and " class sizes keep growing." Yet, if you actually pull your kids out of the system – you’re an “elitist.” Of course they don’t see the hypocrisy. Aargh.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>This is wonderful!!! 
:D</p>
<p>For the first time, I really got blind sided with this issue this past weekend. He wanted to know what the boys did and why I sent them away. It gave me the opportunity (bragging rights?) to exemplify my pride in the boys accomplishments coupled with their desire to attend and their utmost admiration and respect for their schools. He got a good 30 minutes earful education on boarding schools, the values and the opportunities which left him with his mouth open but mute.</p>
<p>We get criticism and weird looks all the time - not so much about being “elitist” (I’m sure that happens behind our backs). Because our friends know it was his idea to go, we get more of the “are you ok about sending him away at such a young age to such a liberal environment?” In the beginning I felt like a dreadful mother. However, after just 2 terms at bs, I KNOW he is in the right place, and he is doing far more interesting and stimulating things on the weekends than the local kids who hang out drinking beer. He has an incredible variety of friends all from different backgrounds. He is learning from them as well as from his teachers. He is learning to look after himself, manage his time, and how to defend his thoughts - what a step up he will have when he starts college. I miss him everyday, but yes, I am ok about “sending him away”, and we all have to be ok with others not being ok with it. The bs decision is never made lightly - it is not for everyone, but it is for us!</p>
<p>@wcmom: "the public schools here used to be good, and there are no private HS options. It’s just not PC around here to acknowledge how much things have deteriorated. "</p>
<p>I believe deteriorating public schools and lack of private alternatives is key to the rise in BS applications from domestic students. Separately, I think it’s pretty clear that funding isn’t really the issue. Just watching the fights over reading and math curriculum in the NYC PS was very instructive. I wound up visiting sites like [2</a> plus 2: The Home of Mathematically Correct](<a href=“http://www.mathematicallycorrect.com%5D2”>http://www.mathematicallycorrect.com) which was rather eye-opening.</p>
<p>@Krao. There are multiple problems and I still think funding is the big one. We try to do much with a shrinking pot. If education were held in the same esteem as the medical/industrial complex there were would be more money and more solutions. Of course narrowing of the curriculum is another problem, but again, why is it being narrowed? Yes, to raise literacy and testing rates, but if we had enough funds we could diversify offerings to meet a wider range of needs. And let’s face it, one of the reasons that costs in education are rising is benefits (medical and other…). So if we have more private options it’s private for those who can and ____ for those who can’t? I love my kids’ schools, but am so sad that we had to do this to get things like history and art. I still believe that a good education for all is the key to a just society. Follow the trajectory: ultimately it’s about people not wanting to pay for other people’s kids because…</p>
<p>@wcmom: What I meant about funding is that while money is tight, it’s because of the inflated cost of delivering that education, mainly because so much of the money goes to fund excess overhead and doesn’t really benefit the students. A look at inflation-adjusted spending per student over the past 20-30 years will illustrate this point. I don’t think it’s a simple problem to solve, but I’m hopeful the growth of alternatives to public education and the increased use of high quality online alternatives will spur innovation and greater efficiency. Anyone who’s child has taken an online CTY course can see that you don’t necessarily have to have every lecture delivered live for a child to learn.</p>
<p>Recently in my local paper someone who was protesting having to pay $$$ for education reported that 70 Cents of every local tax dollar went to the town’s education budget. I don’t know if this is true but if it is it is startling. I disagree with the guy’s premise that he shouldn’t be having to pay for the education of other people’s kids (who just move into town bkz of our schools) bkz I would say that is why the real estate prices in our town are only down about 10% from the height of the market. If we didn’t pay for our schools housing prices would decline. I would say that over the 11 years that I have lived here I have seen art, gym and language programs cut despite the fact that we are considered to have a top school system.
I have read that the unfunded federal initiatives such as “No Child Left Behind” are placing a heavy burden on local school systems that are required to meet these federal requirements. I know that a tremendous portion of our budget is taken up with special education programs while mainstream programs are cut. I don’t have the answers to how to handle this other than spreading out the tax burden nationally…</p>