<p>I'm pretty much the lamest 18 year old Senior ever... and I'm scared that in the fall I will be the lamest 19 year old college Freshman ever! I go to a co-ed public high school, I'm not unpopular, I have a ton of cool guy friends, as far as I know I'm not completely unattractive, I'm nice to everyone, and I try to flirt when I like someone... yet I've never had a boyfriend, never been on a date, and I've never been kissed. </p>
<p>Pretty lame, I know. A lot of it has to do with the fact that I shied away from dating for the first two years of high school because I didn't want to fall into the same trap as my friends who started dating in junior high... I'm sure you all know what I mean... let's just say that a lot of them have regrets about their supposedly "serious" past relationships. I have my reasons why I waited to start dating (if you really want to know them, I can post more later), but now that I am ready to date, most of the guys in my school see me as a "little sister" or "best friend" but not a girlfriend (including--I think--the guy I'm interested in, but that's a different story). It also doesn't help that my 15 year old sister has had 4 boyfriends, and she's 3 years younger than me!!</p>
<p>But anyway...to make a long story somewhat shorter, now I feel like I've missed out on the whole dating thing, and I feel like I'm going to be completely lame in college. I mean, what am I going to do when I am in college, and someone (who has probably dated before) asks me out on my first date? I'm going to be like a goofy junior high girl trying to figure out what you're supposed to do on a date! It's going to be embarassing! Is anyone else in this same position? Sorry this was so long... I guess I didn't realize how much I had to say about my non-existent love life, haha. But seriously, advice would be great! Thanks!</p>
<p>I'm not in the same position, but I think I can see where you're coming from. I don't think that you have too much to worry about, though. Assuming you're a kind, friendly person (which it sounds like you are!) you're sure to have no issues meeting and becoming friends with tons of members of the opposite sex at college. It would be silly to think that everyone who comes to college is equally experienced, and certainly less interesting. I think that applies to all aspects of college life--be it dating, alcohol/drug use, or even academics.</p>
<p>I'm in exactly your position, except I'm already at college (freshman). Still, nothing has happened, but I havn't really been super attracted to anyone yet, plus I don't go out and party every weekend, which I think limits how guys know me. My best friend was also like this, and after her first two weeks at school she'd had her first kiss, and has since moved on in the chain of events... So it's not to end of everything if you havn't "done" anything yet.</p>
<p>My first date was my sophomore year of college. I was a very shy girl in high school and only gradually grew out of that in college. However, I think my relationships were less superficial than those of some people I knew because I did start late and was less into the game playing of dating. I have been happily married for 26 years now (to someone I met after college) and don't regret any dating time I may have missed.</p>
<p>My son, a freshman in college, has also dated very little, although he is a friendly outgoing guy. (It seems most girls in high school liked him as a friend, rather than in a romantic way.) Just this week he called to say he has his first girlfriend and feels a bit awkward in knowing what to do. (But he is quite happy!) He said she has also dated little, and he admires that in her. He always thought it was stupid to get too involved in high school when kids were so immature. So he sees this girl as being smart in waiting to date. I'm sure my son is not the only guy like that. </p>
<p>As for what to do on a date, just be yourself. If you feel uncomfortable, tell the guy. Any decent guy will not look down on you for being inexperienced. Some, like my son, will admire you for that. College is a whole different world from high school, I think you will find. There is room for all types of people, and you have a good chance to find people somewhere on the campus who think like you.</p>
<p>My experience was that dating in high school was very different from dating in college -- in college, you actually meet people you don't know and go out on actual dates... at my high school, you dated people you had known for years and were boyfriend/girlfriend before you went out anywhere.</p>
<p>Given the differences between high school and college dating, I think even people who have dated in high school will be a little unsure of what they're doing. You definitely won't be the only one. :)</p>
<p>You're not alone. I'm almost done my first semester of college and am still part of the never been kissed club (unless you count the two year old boy I used to sit for). I'm not overly concerned about it though. I have plenty of friends here of both sexes. My mom's favorite saying is "you don't go to college to get your MRS degree". Lame but true. Well...that shouldn't be your main degree at least.</p>
<p>Nothing lame about it at all. I can't remember exactly, but I didn't make any kind of physical contact with any woman (be it kissing or whatever) or even went on any dates until the summer after my freshman year. Don't be so down about it. Like the above person said, your focus is on school and most of all, having a good time in general. Just because you've never had a boyfriend before means that you can't have a good time in school. It's absurd to think people will think right away that you're lame. Don't forget that college is not just an extension of the typical bull**** from high school (to some it is sadly). It's a totally different environment. Most of all, take it easy on yourself about the whole thing. Let yourself adopt a better attitude about the situation. Such as ... "I am ready to meet lots of people, have a good time, and excel in courses I actually want to take. Noone will know or need to know my personal dating history unless I deem it necessary."</p>
<p>allie, i was in the same position as you... (I am a freshman now)
I just vowed myself all summer that while I'll stay the same way I act, I will become much more social of which I did and now I have a group of really good friends. I still have yet to overcome my shyness with approaching girls if I like them though... :-</p>
<p>Wow, I'm in the exact same position (only a year younger) but I have the same concern and was going to post about it. I thought I was the only one in the world with this situation (I was going to say problem, but apparently it's not that much of a problem after all!). I'm so happy to hear I'm not. Thanks CCers!!!</p>
<p>you aren't alone, there are a lot of girls that haven't had boyfriends in high school, heck.. most of my female friends hadn't.
The good thing about college is that nobody knows where you came from, whether you were popular or not, and infact your geeky/nerdiness will be readily accepted by others - no popularity ranking in college.
If you have some really good guy friends, and you feel comfortable asking them to do this, have them take you on a "fake date" so you won't feel like a total idiot when the real date comes along.</p>
<p>The big problem with my school is that no one dates anyone outside their little group of friends. And most people are only attracted to people of the same race. My problem is that I hang out with a bunch of Japanese boys and I am a lonely white girl. I have had a boyfriend, but I havent made out with any guys yet. I could easily go to a party and kiss some drunk boy, but I have some rules when it comes to guys...and I refuse to belittle myself for them.</p>
<p>yea i was worried earlier that i was still a virgin and a freshman in college but then i found out that about 70% of people here are too and 30% are by graduation time...it's prolly closer to 50% for freshmen in most other schools</p>
<p>^ I see interracial couples all the time here at my campus. OK, so not all the time, but you do see them around. And I'm sure plenty of people date outside their circle of friends. Most people when they enter college don't really have a circle of friends anyway.</p>
<p>i have no problems with interracial couples. I am actually more attracted to hispanic guys, but the problem is that all those guys prefer girls of their own race. That is one reason that I am excited for college. I am sick of the cliques.</p>
<p>im sick of them too, but it seems to be pretty much the same in college. everyone seems to be friends with people just like them, and its usually separated by race too. which is sad, but...eh. i'll get over that eventually. i just thought it would be different here.</p>
<p>Thanks pearlinthemist. I've actually been on a couple of dates, but stuff just never works out, like my friends like the guy I'm dating so I feel bad dating him when they like him or I'm too busy so he gives up and stuff like that...</p>
<p>This is so reassuring, so thanks allie_babwa06 for posting. :) I'm younger than you (16 in two weeks) but I'm in the same situation. Almost all my friends have had some kind of experience, be it kissing or intercourse, and I do feel a little bit lame sometimes. It's good to know that it won't be a problem in college.</p>
<p>I don't think I'm that undesirable as a person; I've just had bad luck with guys. To use a bad analogy, my love life in the form of a Venn diagram would have the circles for "Guys I'm attracted to" and "Guys who are attracted to me" on opposite sides of the page, without an intersection. When I had a huge crush on a friend of mine he turned me down, only to ask me out a year later when I'd lost interest. Other than that guys tend to see me more as a convenient academic resource than as a dating prospect. (Do other smart girls get this?)</p>