<p>MD Mom: I have one in their second year and one in their first. It has been much easier with the older one this year, and I feel very much like you do with the second. I am hoping that year two for #2 is as easy as it was with #1.</p>
<p>EOY=End of Year.</p>
<p>@WCMom- I feel for you. My anticipation of next year is tempered by the fact that my eldest (who stayed home) is headed to College so I have an empty nest ahead! Time to turn into a crazy old lady who hoards cats LOL!</p>
<p>This is such a helpful thread for a totally new BS parent. I love reading (and often laughing with) these stories. Thank you fellow parents. It lightens the mood and takes away some of the worry.</p>
<p>Overall, DS’s first year has been wonderful. I’m a little embarrassed to admit this, but the biggest highs and lows have come from sports. (DS is an athlete so I’m not completely surprised.) All is well on the academic and social fronts too. We made the right choice.</p>
<p>MDmom: yes having the kids away has deepened my relationship with my cat to the point of weirdness, LOL 
From what I can see of my friends whose kids are fully grown, being a BS parent is not quite like being an empty-nester. We are still tethered in most ways, just don’t get to go to events or have to do as much shopping/cooking. What makes it bearable is the juxtaposition of their new lives with their old ones.</p>
<p>@WCMOM: . @ParkerMom - it will all work out you’ll see :)</p>
<p>Daughter (new prep) has had a good first year socially, and academically. I just got back from visiting on long spring weekend and taking a small herd of her friends out for a seafood dinner in Portsmouth and a look at the beach (it is 13 miles away, and approved for students)</p>
<p>What has pleasantly surprised us: the genuine friendliness and warmth of faculty and her advisor. There is a great deal of caring concern between faculty and kids. Interesting kids too, many with wonderful humor. They made the dinner table into a brief Harkness discussion for me, as a joke, and it was really, really funny.</p>
<p>Daughter is BUSY. Every minute. Exeter is completely demanding of her attention. We were used to supplementing school with state and national competitions and activities, and could see that it was not possible to combine those outside activities from home (like a nationally competitive small sport), with prep year. Sorry to have to let some of those activities go for now. This would be a factor if a child had a special talent not well represented at Exeter - it is hard to get outside the Exeter “bubble” as a boarder during the school year.</p>
<p>She does not call home except if we track her down. We are not on her day to day radar. So I send care packages just to keep some connection going, and try to grab her on Skype when she is on-line. During vacations so far, she is on-line with her Exeter friends.</p>
<p>Bumping to capture any thoughts/observations as our kids’ first years at BS come to a close…</p>
<p>As the last one to leave the dorm, DS got home late last night. Instead of a big welcome hug at the airport, he came through security on the phone with AMEX as his wallet had either been lost or stolen during his layover; he discovered it missing on the plane. Nothing like dealing with a small crisis to dampen the moment Id been waiting for all week (year?). Oh well, hes home. Earlier in the day, he had texted pics of his empty room, and I just couldnt believe that I was looking at the same empty space hed entered so anxiously in September, lived in so fully, and was now leaving to the next hopeful. I have pictures of us hugging in that room before we left him at matriculation, spotless with just-put school things, now clearly lived-in with dust in those spaces obscured by his just-packed belongings. Like a womb, nine months in that room have produced a new creature, so confident and mature. Even in my frustration at the airport, I had to marvel at his control over the situation; he was already cancelling the card before even telling me it was lost, before seeing my face at the end of the terminal. Who taught him to do that? Where did he acquire the calm to so quickly and gracefully handle an ill-timed unknown? Who is this young man, and where is my kid? Eventually, he put the phone in his pocket, gave me a big smile, wrapped his arms around me and said, Hi Mom. Lets go get my luggage. I have so much to tell you.</p>
<p>Anyone else feeling like a spectator in their childs life? Anyone else wondering who it is occupying their childs room?</p>
<p>Sorry about the wallet, Choatiemom. My D had her laptop stolen during a layover in March, but will never know quite how. We know there are scammers who sandwich people at security, but we don’t know if it was that or something else. It made getting on the plane yesterday more traumatic, but it has made both kids much more careful. For anyone reading this, please feel free to share this experience as a warning. </p>
<p>Having two come home (thankfully two days apart) this weekend, I find the experience different for each. One child has changed more than the other, and we are still taking stock and trying to reconfigure how we parent. Like you, I do find the new independence very appealing. Too soon to tell how what it will mean for rule-making over the summer, but for now, we are simply reveling in how polished, calm, and confident the kids seem. We are also struck anew by just how much we’ve missed them.</p>
<p>Pick-up this past Saturday was smooth, though I was surprised about how much stuff we had to portage and pack into the car this time around. I guess I failed to take into account the additional clothes and other items we sent back to school with her over the course of the year. Guess we’ll be hanging on to the SUV for a few more years…if we downsize to a wagon like I wanted to, I’d need one of those roof pods or rent a van.</p>
<p>The relative proximity of our daughter’s school is such a plus, especially since it’s our family’s first foray into the world of boarding school. Pick ups and drop offs can be as quick as 4 hours roundtrip, as opposed to one way. This will be something to consider when our younger daughter’s turn comes around in a few years. And that’s not even factoring in the airport hijinks that the parents above mention!</p>
<p>I continue to be happy with her choice of a smaller school. Dorm parents, teachers, and advisors who we’ve met through out the year know who we are when we run into them — and some fellow parents and students as well.</p>
<p>All in all*, I think SevenDaughter had a great first year at St. Andrew’s. She positively loves the school and has really thrown herself into getting involved pretty much wherever she can. </p>
<p>My greatest hope for her going into all of this was that she’d be able to work on her friend-making skills (she’s always been content to be an “army of one”) and while she still has work to do, I think she’s come a long way. Academically, she also has made strides — especially in terms of writing skills and organizing thoughts and arguments. We’re still waiting on final grades, but she had been on track to make honor roll. </p>
<p>Perhaps most importantly, she reports that the classes are sufficiently challenging and interesting. I say this last part for all the high achieving prospects (and their parents) who think they can only get the rigor and like-minded students they seek in a handful of “famous” schools in New England (and NJ!). Think again.</p>
<p>Since it seems like she had been saving up two weeks worth of laundry, I got to see most of the things we bought specifically for school in the numerous loads we’ve been doing since our return. Her shirts and pants seem like they have seen heavy wear…and her mother and I will have to review what’s good enough for a second year and what needs to be replaced. J. Crew Outlet, here we come…</p>
<p>A final note: While we are all happy that SevenDaughter is back for the summer, I want to reiterate one unexpected benefit (from a parental perspective) of her attending boarding school this year. It’s the focus it allowed us to have on our younger daughter’s education and ECs. No worry about coordinating two students’ schedules. That’s a huge thing for a two-working parents household. Will be interesting to have them both under our roof again for the next couple of months.</p>
<p>*Despite my positive EOY POV, there were ups and downs and challenges this year — and yes, some tears.</p>
<p>Because GMTson is int’l, we opted for the paid summer storage. </p>
<p>GMTson packed up his stuff on his own, and the movers picked it up. Movers will deliver the boxes to his next dormroom this fall. </p>
<p>When we arrive to pick him up, the room was already cleared, and he was ready to leave with 2 suitcases.</p>
<p>No, none whatsoever</p>
<p>@Cogent: I think that this thread (as well as most others on the CC BS forum) suffers from presenting mostly the positive side of the BS experience. </p>
<p>IMO, that’s understandable…after all, how many people are comfortable publicizing their problems in general? Additionally, in some cases, descriptions of problems could also lead to identifying the student/family.</p>
<p>In the time that I’ve been on the forum, there have been notable instances of publicly discussing disappointment and issues, and I think those threads have been very beneficial to all involved.</p>
<p>In our experience so far, the issues have been very minor (and I think part of dealing with teenagers in general) and I’d be happy to share them via PM with people who have a genuine interest.</p>
<p>@Cogent, I second what 7Dad says and would add that our only remorse is that the kids are so far away. The BS experience has been great, but if we had good local options I don’t think we’d be doing this. </p>
<p>@7dad, we also enjoyed focusing on second sib when first sib went away, but I think it made it harder when second sib left :(. On the up side, when we do travel to see them or they come home, we have a blast and laugh like crazy. I don’t think we’d be doing that if they were in school locally.</p>
<p>A few additional end of year thoughts:</p>
<ul>
<li><p>Unlike a few of the parents above, I have not been struck with any “wow, she’s all grown up now” moments so far (at least not now…I did feel that a bit at the Winter Break). That said, we attended the middle school end of year service at her alma mater this AM and that’s pretty much all I heard from her old teachers and other parents.</p></li>
<li><p>SevenDaughter was able to accomplish things this year that most likely would not have been possible had she stayed at her old school or if she had attended the HADES BS to which she was admitted. I chalk it up to that issue of “fit” again, and also the notion of being able to reinvent yourself at a new school.</p></li>
<li><p>Next year, I’d like to institute a specific day/time once a week where she calls home. That way the drives home are not filled with “So what’s new?” conversations door to door.</p></li>
<li><p>I’m going to encourage her to write more letters to friends and family next year, especially letters of thanks for care packages. In this electronic age, letters and cards mean even more (especially to grandparents!!!).</p></li>
<li><p>I wish I was super wealthy, so I could donate a dedicated student laundry center to her school. I like that kids have to do their own laundry at SAS, but there seems to be a shortage of machines in the Pell-Moss girls dorm complex.</p></li>
</ul>
<p>@Cogent: Ill bite. As much as I always end up saying what an amazing experience this has been and how happy DS is, and how wonderful the school is, I still struggle with the cost. We are not uber-wealthy, and we do not receive financial aid, so we are paying full freight for a luxury we can pay for but may not be able to afford; there is a distinction. Like @wcmom1958 says, if we had good local options I dont think wed be doing this, but we DO have local schools that other kids are attending and somehow managing to avoid the penal system. Each day I drive by the school our son would have attended and wonder once again just why that option (or any other of the choices our state allows) was not good enough. Given the type of student our son is, Im pretty sure he would do extremely well in any of the local programs even if the challenge is not there. He would still go on to college and, most likely, become a productive member of society. Would he be as happy, well educated, and experienced in the short run? Probably not, but just what are we buying for $50K/year, and what are we sacrificing? Im embarrassed to admit that this decision which should be irrevocably made still plagues me when I consider that our air conditioner may not hold out much longer, our old cars are showing signs of dementia, and Im just sure there is a black swan in our future.</p>
<p>Let me short circuit all the reasons for and benefits of BS that everyone here is just itching to post and say that I agree with you all. No need to list all the amazing things in the BS candy store or the intangibles that the boarding experience offers or the unmatched quality that is there. Its all been said before, and who can argue with giving your kid the best education you can? As I posted earlier, just watching DS navigate his world with an ease that I am certain he did not learn in this pond takes my breath away and makes me say, Priceless! But, is it? Im just being honest that even though we can write that check, I sometimes wonder if were crazy to continue doing so when I cant exactly quantify the downside of NOT providing DS with this elite privilege. In a world where so many people struggle just to survive, I wonder about the sanity and morality of spending $200K for a teenager to attend a NE BS. Could that money be better spent for a greater good and, if so, would I spend it or hoard it? The question bothers me.</p>
<p>Ultimately, we are putting a tremendous burden on our son because we have raised him to believe that to him whom much has been given, much is expected. The implication is that he must somehow use what he is learning/becoming for the greater good, at a level above what would be required of him otherwise, but is BS enabling him to contribute more than he would if he had stayed home and been educated at less cost? Will he be a better person for this experience? Well never know.</p>
<p>So, @Cogent, there it is. Is this buyers remorse or just a rant born of my small-mindedness and increasingly hormonal state? You be the judge. (Now, back to the choir loft to continue singing the praises of BS.)</p>
<p><<no need="" to="" list="" all="" the="" amazing="" things="" in="" bs="" candy="" store…="">></no></p>
<p>Boarding School Candy Store…love it.
Well stated CM.</p>
<p>@Cogent: The one thing I have some remorse about isn’t specific to my daughter’s school. It’s the realization that, by opting into the BS world, we as parents have effectively shortened our “family together time” by 4 years. A little sad, especially when I consider the possibility of my younger girl going away to school in just a few short years. Of course, this is all a problem of our own creation…but that doesn’t make it any less triste.</p>