<p>Well, since I started this thread…pardon me for hijacking it back. ;)</p>
<p>Picked up Pelicanchild this week after exams; the push to vacate was quite intense, and most kids who weren’t staying for prom and/or graduation were really under the gun, many having to take 2 exams on Wednesday AND vacate the premises before that evening.</p>
<p>While the Pchild has learned some things about self-management, prepping for move-out (or maintenance cleaning) was not on the list. It was pretty gross to see, but it wasn’t just in Pchild’s dorm room, it was across the dorm (and I remember plenty of college frosh whose rooms were equally filthy).</p>
<p>Since we arrived home he’s been up late into the wee hours and sleeping in past noon. He gets about 2 weeks to do things his way before he heads off for his 9-week job as a waiter & lifeguard. The biggest transition for all of us is refiguring the family dynamics of having him back. In some ways, he is helpful in terms of managing his younger sibs–they certainly listen to HIS telling them they need to buck up better than they listen to it from us. On the other hand, he’s going through some typical regression and whining for special attention to his needs–at the moment he thinks of them, of course. So it’s a transition for him, too, returning to the family unit and being reminded that he has some responsibilities to the rest of us while he’s around.</p>
<p>Grades have not come back yet, but we have a pretty good idea of where they’ll be. We talked to one of his teachers, his dorm head, his advisor, and another dorm faculty member during our 24 hours around the campus. Although it hasn’t been a stellar year for him academically (B-ish), it has been a stellar year in terms of his coming around to understanding the culture of the school and the expectations. Taking this on a year-to-year investment analysis, I’d say the decision to start freshman year (something I <em>didn’t</em> do myself) was well worth it in Pchild’s case, because he’ll start the important sophomore year with a thorough understanding of what needs to be done to succeed, who to go to for help, which of his classmates are good academic role models and which aren’t, etc. He’s intending to take a very ambitious course load, and I like it that the motivation there is coming from him, not from any push on our part. He already knows the particular slant he wants to get out of his high school education (history/economics/statistical mathematics), and he’s putting together a curriculum to get himself toward where he wants to be.</p>
<p>My own 2 cents to a lot of the current commenting going on among parents on the board is I’m surprised by how the conversation seems guided by an idea that there’s ?one proper way? for a child or family to navigate through any of these very different schools. Sure these schools all have a lot of stake in “outcomes” to justify their exorbitant costs, but I’m much more concerned with the old adage that Pchild “learn HOW to learn”–as a lifelong practice–than I am with getting him positioned as a commodity for particular higher education institutions. One of the amazing things about these schools is that they can deal with a diverse student body: traditional athletes, stellar mathematicians & young scientists, virtuoso musicians, dancers, fine artists, etc., and give all of those kids the strong platforms to push themselves beyond their comfort zone to explore their unrealized talents. I very much get from both Pchild and his cohort, and from the faculty and staff at LC, that this is what is happening there (along with the regular “drama” that seems to be inevitable to American high school culture…).</p>
<p>So sure some kind of success is important, and recognizing the competitive nature of these environments is a realistic necessity, but how each student or family values and gauges success can be quite different. I’d caution families here from assuming that a single set of values rules at any one of these schools, or across the board at all of them.</p>