<p>Somewhere on CC I first heard the phrase “pass the drama to the mama.” I suppose it could be papa too. I agree that our DCs complain to parents because it is a safe outlet. It has taken me awhile to learn that my DDs are not always accurate reporters of their status, or at least of the big picture. So we have seen “I have no friends, everybody hates me” but at the same time legions of friends greeting them at every corner on campus, stories of adventures and smiling facebook photos. More you get their feelings at that particular moment they are speaking to you, and they tend to always call home when they are feeling low. I think part of it is needing to learn to see the average, that the bad moments are offset by the good. As long as there are generally more good than bad they are OK. Does not make it an easier to hear though.</p>
<p>My daughter and I had these grand plans of talking on Ichat and phone calls just to check in for a few minutes everyday. She called once and basically ignored me on Facebook when I tried to chat with her. </p>
<p>On the one hand I am thinking she is so busy and is having so much fun she has forgotten all about dear old Mom. Of course when she runs out of money or needs me to send her something I am sure she will be in touch in a hurry. </p>
<p>I am giving her a few more days before she gets a friendly reminder from home that we still exist.</p>
<p>My daughter is 2nd year at BS. I hope her experience will help first year student like her and parents.</p>
<ol>
<li>She did not feel homesick until first test of first trimester. I think she held it tight until she got pressure out from first test.</li>
<li>Her schedule and activities were way beyond normal load. But she is too stubborn to tell parent/advisor.</li>
<li>She then figured out core courses ( including famous T3X ) having too many super smart kids that she need spend double/triple study time to catch up.</li>
<li>She had some medicine issue that she tried to deal with herself. End with not doing well.</li>
<li>She made a decision to help her friend but end with a big trouble for herself.</li>
<li>She took very long time to adjust herself to fit in harkness table.</li>
<li>She did not learn how to manage her time wisely until first trimester ended.</li>
<li>By the way, She insisted do laundry herself instead I buy laundry service for her for first year.</li>
</ol>
<p>Do she learn good things from first trimester ? Yes. Yes. She saw the world she did not see it before. She began to question herself and learned from her own mistake. She knew something working hard can still get the thing done, but something is way out of her league no matter how she work hard. She had a few very good friends and study groups.</p>
<p>After Thanksgivings break, I asked her if she want to come back to local school. She told me she will go back to BS for second trimester but will think about during summer. She accepted the challenge and returned back to school last week for her second year.</p>
<p>Good luck, my daughter and first year student like her.</p>
<p>Does anyone else have an eighth grader away at BS? I know at least one school in the Northeast that takes in eighth. We are in the UK and BS starts in the equivalent of eighth. So, DD has just turned 13 and is away for the first time.</p>
<p>I have a 7th grader at a junior boarding school. There are several junior boarding schools that focus on grades 6-9. Groton has a small eighth grade.</p>
<p>Thanks to Dodger and Classical moms, I took their advice and shot an email to advisor. The support system was in the works for DC schedule changes. It took some tweaking but as of today I think DC is finally happy with his classes. The dean was kind enough to follow up with a phone call to let me know all is well. I feel DC is in good hands:)</p>
<p>Second week in and SevenDaughter reports that work is hard, and perhaps placements+schedule (double language advanced in one, beginning at the other) which she asked us to petition for are a tad ambitious. Interesting and I think, unprecedented, to hear such talk from a girl with CTY high honors stats.</p>
<p>But today, I was rooting for her old alma mater’s high school field hockey team, and caught up with some parents of her former 8th grade classmates…seems like things are tough all over. I guess things must really ratchet up from middle school to high school.</p>
<p>I breezed over that recent post by new Andover student cassat and felt her pain. DD didn’t make it into the only auditioned acapella group at SAS…fortunately she doesn’t seem too bummed. One of the downsides of smaller schools is there aren’t multiples of any given group. Resiliency is one of the character traits I’d love her to incorporate over the next few years, so it’s a teachable moment.</p>
<p>Finding that we FB message her more than talk on the phone. That seems to work well enough for all at the moment…</p>
<p>Thanks for sharing 7D. I remember DS not getting his requested class in Honors Physics right away and needing to wait til someone dropped down a level. </p>
<p>Talking to families of friends who stayed locally, yes I think H.S. ratches it up a notch across the board. Keep in mind however, that all the boarding school kids at these GLADCHEMMST and other such schools are all CTY highest honors or SET kids, yet they will be challenged. DS is taking honors Chinese and can’t believe the fast pace and what it takes to keep up.</p>
<p>Interestingly, socially it’s still the beginning of the year. Just about now, two weeks in, the joy of seeing everyone returned is getting old, the bloom is off the rose, so to speak, and the kids are really already in the throes of first quizzes and tests. DS has said that he no longer is expecting to make close friendships; he’s learned a lesson or two from his first year. Also, he says the gossip mill (much like what cassat referred to), is already ramping up. Kids are feeling the pressure of exams, hard classes and few outlets besides sports.</p>
<p>It takes a good part of the entire first year to really get settled. Fall semester is spent figuring things out–lots of highs and lows; winter term is tough on EVERYONE (longer time without a break, cold and grey weather, and less ways to blow off steam when you are trapped indoors). But, hold steady, by spring semester, everyone feels better about school and kids and parents alike look back at how silly they felt those first couple of weeks! And, just when they think they’ve got it nailed, they come back for 10th grade, where the work gets kicked up almost from day one, and the kids reminesce about the good old days as easy peasy 9th graders. Same drill again in 11th grade, when the work kicks up again with many kids are taking a super rigorous courseload and they only wish they were in 10th again . . . .</p>
<p>I agree in most part with erlanger accept how many of the freshmen claim that have it all figured out by Thanksgiving. A perception versus reality thing. What I wanted to emphasize is the importance of time management. Free periods are not necessarily free. They have to be used to study and for homework. Many kids will need more than the required evening study hall to keep up with their work. Use your free time wisely, even on quiet Sunday afternoons. Of course what I said is easier said than done but it is easier than playing catch up.</p>
<p>My d already has her first cold after one week. That puts a little damper on things. But we’ve been through this before. A suggestion…send your child the basics for colds ahead of time, with instructions. They can’t even purchase pseudophedrine on their own as they aren’t 18 yet. Yes, the health center may give it to them, but sometimes the kids would rather not make the trip.</p>
<p>I send our kid with pseudophedrine, lots of Advil, multi-vitamins, and cough drops, and that seems to get him through the cold season. Still have to give instructions over the phone though…:)</p>
<p>Oh, and I’ve been sending him Emergen-c to use in his water bottle at night. I figure the extra vitamin C doesn’t hurt and he usually forgets to take his vitamins. Actually, he told me that Exeter now has Emergen-c in the dining halls, so now he’s drinking it non-stop.</p>
<p>yes, a supply of tylenol and zantac for my student is essential, also claritin for those pesky allergies when you can’t control dust, mold and other allergens easily. Also, a nice supply of bottled water (for hydration) and ice tea or Starbucks bottled mocha or vanilla lattes also good for some caffeine for late night, burning the midnight oil studying.</p>
<p>At SAS, you can’t have more than 5 days supply of OTC pain/fever reducers (like Tylenol) and I think the decongestants that require you to show ID to buy are verboten.</p>
<p>Oh, and +1 on the “kid already has/had a cold” count!</p>
<p>I see your point, and, in fact, send my kid to school with just a handful of meds stronger than ibuprofen. However, I can’t see the point of being overcautious about something that they could walk down and pick up at Walgreens without raising an eyebrow.</p>