1st Year Parents' Support Thread

<p>In my mind, although there could be safety risks with OTC meds such as tylenol, I think the schools have bigger worries re meds and illicit drug use, than to overthink the OTC cold medications.</p>

<p>This is from St. George’s regarding meds and most schools are probably very similar:</p>

<p>Medications
Students may keep simple, over the counter medicines in small
amounts in their rooms. Prescription drugs brought to school
by students or prescribed while school is in session must be in
their original pharmacy and/or manufacturer-labeled containers
and kept in the Health Center. At the discretion of the Health
Center staff, prescription medicines may be dispensed in small
amounts and may be kept in students’ rooms. Otherwise, all
medicines will be dispensed by the Health Center according to
the physician’s instructions or as needed. Because of the potential
for abuse or illegal handling, all Schedule II medications
such as Adderall, Concerta, Dexedrine, Focalin, and Ritalin or
their generic equivalents, must be kept in the Health Center
according to state regulations. STRATTERA must also be kept
in the Health Center. Failure to follow this regulation may lead
to disciplinary action. If a student needs to take a Schedule II
medication during vacation, it will be mailed home at the
beginning of vacation and should be express-mailed back to
the Health Center at the end of vacation</p>

<p>Schools do vary so do be sure to know your school’s policy… Here’s an excerpt from PA’s Blue Book: </p>

<p>“In general, students are allowed to keep their medications in their dorm rooms. However, for safety reasons, all psychotropic medications (e.g., antidepressants, anxiety medications, and medications for ADD, such as Ritalin and Adderall) must be kept at Isham, and are dispensed in one- or two-week supplies to individual students. Please note that students are assumed to be responsible about taking their medications as prescribed. Any parents with concerns about their child’s ability to comply with medication usage should contact Isham Health Center directly. If a student needs a small personal refrigerator for medication (e.g., Insulin, Growth Hormone), parents should contact Isham for permission.”</p>

<p>I bring the medicines my children need to health services. The nurses know the school’s regulations, and can tell you whether students are allowed to keep Robitussin in their dorm rooms. The regulations may vary by state. Procedures vary by school.</p>

<p>In Massachusetts, students need signed medication orders from doctors for each prescription medication at any school (not only boarding). You can usually find the forms online. So, when you receive a prescription, remember to request a doctor’s order for that prescription from the doctor.</p>

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<p>It’s aggravating, I agree, but it isn’t an argument worth having. Schools do want to know if students are getting sick. Most schools will dispense cold medication if needed, and most schools have medical services available 24/7 during term. It could be that it’s better for a student to see a doctor about a persistent cough, or to go home to recover, than to “tough it out” with a supply of OTC meds.</p>

<p>Periwinkle–agreed and so I was only referring to ibuprofen, which my kid uses occasionally for muscle stress brought on by athletics, not sickness. Anything else, I agree, should be given to our kids in small quantities–if they need more than one or two doses of cold meds, they should be checking in with student health. That said, my kid would have to be on death’s door to actually do that…I’m pretty sure he’d tough it out without any meds. rather than go to student health. </p>

<p>There is, unfortunately, a real problem with kids taking prescription drugs that they aren’t theirs, the way some of us took no doze with mountain dew in college during finals week.</p>

<p>Back to the op, I have just returned from several weeks on the other coast getting my kids situated. Older sib is in a second year at BS as a Junior and is starting off strong. Her first year was tough and as a new sophomore didn’t seem to get as much help getting integrated as younger sib is getting. So perhaps the advantage of going as a sophomore is that you’re older, but the disadvantage is that you are entering an established social scene. By contrast, younger sib has gone as a freshman (and on the young end) but is experiencing more support than we could have dreamed possible. The bumps we have experienced with each are so different. Our new challenge is walking that very fine line between being supportive and hovering (supporting versus enabling). Each child is different and needs different things and we are grateful that the schools haven’t told us how much or how little contact to have. I do think it helps us that we have no real local option to fall back on. If we did it would be hard to stay the course. So glad to read about others’ experiences.</p>

<p>Going to my old alma on Saturday to see the Pelicanchild in a road matchup. He seems to be settling in well, finally switched from his prior language to a new one, and (currently) reports that he has the academic load under control. Enforced study halls for freshmen, both during the class day and in the evenings, probably help. Hard to get more than 10 words out of him at a time, but he’s expressing wants (new book in a series, more pants), so I assume if there were bigger issues he’d put them on the table. Advisor comments dwindling a bit, down to every few days or so, but so far they confirm precisely what we’re hearing from the Pelicanchild’s mouth, so that’s a good sign.</p>

<p>Enjoying the various twists on turns on this thread and others in the parents’ forum!</p>

<p>@pelicandad, I admire you getting at least 10 words from pelican child. My son has called home once to ask where I unpacked something in his dorm room. For the past 2 weeks I’ve received only 3 emails. Thankfully his advisors and dean have updated me with news. Son must be very busy with no complaints. God knows I would be the first to hear of any complaints. So I guess in our case no news is good news.</p>

<p>I have two kids at two different schools. One calls and skypes a few times a day for quick little updates, and the other I hear from far less often. Of course, being a parent, I worry a bit about both. Is the one calling a lot not getting integrated enough into the school (I believe he is, but I can’t help myself sometimes.) Is the fact that the other one is not calling us for days on end going to end up damaging our relationship with her?<br>
I was actually starting to doubt if we had done the right thing with the one we were not hearing from as much. I sent my kids to boarding school for a better education, but not to abdicate my role as a parent. Then yesterday I got an e-mail from my less communicative child that proved to me the choice was the right one: She said “Yes, the workload is a lot, but I don’t mind. I have rediscovered my love of learning.” That, right there, is in a nutshell why I sent my kids so far from home. The amount of contact to home we can all live with we can work on.</p>

<p>Hockeymom: great post - I relate to all of it. Skype really helps me cope with missing them, and as you indicate, getting them a better education makes it all worthwhile.</p>

<p>Our BS newbie has touched base three times since the start of school. He’s busy and happy. We know that “no news is good news.” The first few weeks can be overwhelming.</p>

<p>SevenDaughter actually called ME yesterday AM while getting ready for breakfast/classes. I was on my normal school commute with her younger sibling and let the sisters chat for most of the call. Great to hear her voice…sounds happy but busy.</p>

<p>Son is doing well in second year. He is more Math/Science/Languages kind of guy, so we both worried about History. He called to say he aced his first history exam, and is breathing a sigh of relief. Instructor sent along some nice remarks which he forwarded. Second year, so far, so good. Already looking forward to parents weekend next month. Reservations made and looking forward to learning more.</p>

<p>My d is in her second year at bs and things are going well. I miss her but not as much as last year. </p>

<p>When I arrived on campus she had been on a New England cruise for her 16th b-day with her grandma and then to Maine where she rested relaxed and kayaked (for the first time) with a day student and his family. She was relaxed and happy.</p>

<p>It took me 3 days to empty the storage locker and move her in, with the wicker baskets she requested—lol. Of course she only had one day for me, she had to do stuff on campus, ex. returning students helping new students move in, showing their underclassmen how to get to classes, set the table for meals and then Dorm Olympics.</p>

<p>I was happy to see her so happy and hugging not just her friends but faculty and staff.</p>

<p>We text occasionally, the first two she was looking for something–lol.</p>

<p>She calls more often than last year and her conversations are more meaningful and kid-directed.</p>

<p>A great book, recommended by a older wiser parent is great! Staying connected to your teen, by Micheal Riera. I highly, highly recommend it.</p>

<p>Amidst the parents who report “everything is wonderful” a slightly different perspective. D #1 is in her third year at BS, and this is the first year that we (and she) have felt “right”. It’s been a bumpy road, but it is really awesome to see her finally get in her groove, stepping up appropriately (rather than complaining), and more comfortably taking charge of her journey. So, for some, please, remember these are still formative years and the experience of a 13-14 year old can be very different from that of a 16-17 yo with terrific character building experience under the belt. Hold Steady.</p>

<p>Good for you and you DC, Erlanger. So what do you say - if the child doesn’t
feel right should they persist till things get better or should they call it quit before too late? Wha Do you think made things so difficult for your child? Was it because it’s one of the mini colleges which ironically have such a bad rep on this board while enjoying a fame outside this board?</p>

<p>@erlanger: I think, especially for us new-newb BS parents, there may be a tendency to share only the more positive aspects of the experience. Out of shame (though that’s probably too strong a word), privacy issues, and the fear of scaring off prospects/saying something bad about a specific school.</p>

<p>I have always appreciated your and other parents (bluegene especially comes to mind) honesty about the difficulty of transitioning to BS for students and their families.</p>

<p>How have your kids dealt with the total scheduled-ness of BS, particularly the amount of time devoted to mandatory sports. If my child had remained in PS, she would not be doing a sport–she has other interests. As such she feels like there is no time to decompress because there is practice every day, plus meets / competitions on Wed. and Saturdays and the rest of the time is taken by schoolwork and homework.</p>

<p>Dandrew–hanging in there was not easy for us, but it was for D. If she decided it wasn’t working we probably would have left the BS. She wanted to stay at BS regardless, both out of grit (as we’ve been talking about on another post) and out of normal teen desire to not to leave friends, etc. What made the early going rough was mostly a sink or swim style school environment combined with her genuinely missing family (really!). Some of this was the school’s culture, and some of it was bad luck b/c she did not find an adult to bond with or a local family to embrace her–those things would and could have made the early going easier. Now, as a Junior, besides her being more mature, what has made this “better” is that she has become more proactive with her needs (as opposed to adults watching over her which we desparately craved in the early going): from academic help to finding a place to bake brownies–she’s learned to better anticipate needs and step up herself.</p>

<p>Really lovely to hear, Erlanger.</p>