<p>Counting the days to Parents Weekend which starts next Thurs, but sad to discover that S has no classes at all on Wednesday, and we wont get there until very late Wednesday evening and cant rearrange flights/hotel/car/work at this point. 
Spoke to him at length today (as he paced back and forth in front of campus webcam in his sports attire) and listened to the happiness in his voice. Loved the call, but very hard to hang up and keep counting
(SevenDad: I envy your proximity). Will update later next week after visit.</p>
<p>Last year I went to D’s parent’s weekend and loved it! This year other parent is going to S’s parent’s weekend – but visiting D during that weekend too. I am jealous sick but it’s too hard to travel long distance more than once or twice a year. Huge advantage having the kids near each other, though. </p>
<p>I will not have seen the kids from 9/18 till Thanksgiving break and it’s so hard. I know S will be taller as he is in heavy growth spurt mode. People keep asking how it feels to be an empty nester and I have to say that with phone, Skype, email, text, care packages, etc. I don’t feel like one!! This whole thing would be too hard though if we didn’t feel that the local trajectory for both kids was unacceptable. </p>
<p>I hope everyone enjoys parent’s weekend :)</p>
<p>@wcmom, I’m also a premature empty nester. Thats what my neighbors labeled me. I have to admit I didn’t do well the first few weeks they were away but now I see what a good choice we made. The kids are thriving and very happy. I didn’t expect to have the kids out of the house until college but, like you, the local options were unacceptable. Thank goodness for skype.</p>
<p>I’ve actually found that my relationship with my daughter is stronger than if she had stayed local. You don’t have to get involved in the day to day bickering. The kids learn from the consequences of their own actions. And though sometimes it’s tough, we have no regrets. And ditto on skype and texting!</p>
<p>How did your parents week end go? We had perfect weather and our school was very organized. All parent teacher meetings were held in one of the gyms. Parents had to schedule the meeting times online in advance and everything went smoothly when we got there. We tail gated at a football game, watched our DC in a music performance and sat in on all his classes. My feet hurt from all the walking. The campus is much larger than I remembered. I was very happy that all his teachers knew DC very well, something I thought would not be the case as the school is very large.
DC seems to have settled into his new life very well and uses his spare time wisely, although I did have to change his bed sheets since I could see they haven’t been changed since we moved him in.</p>
<p>We, too, had a lovely time (still here, keeping S with us until Tuesday as we tour around and do some things he wants to do–like sleep!). We totally flunked PW, though, as we didn’t realize until classes were over this morning that we had missed ALL the parent sessions because we shadowed his classes both yesterday and today. We had such a great time attending yesterday, we totally forgot that the parent topic sessions ran concurrent with classes today! And we were carrying the schedule folder with us the whole time. Oh well, I’m sure if we missed anything important, it will either be on the website, or we can get it later from the school. I was impressed by all of his teachers (English especially), and we got great personal and specific detail from each one of them. Only downside, if there was one, was the overcrowding in the dining hall. It was a zoo at lunch Friday. We went to a lovely crew reception last night, so we didn’t have to contend with dinner in the dining hall. I getting my “fall” fix, too. Can’t breath enough of this cool NE air. The weather is lovely.</p>
<p>Muf: I mostly go to Parents Weekend, I think, to wash bedding…this year, even the pillows.</p>
<p>Could only afford x-country travel for one parent this year and I went last year so I am living vicariously. Sounds like it was fabulous. The teaching is what really impressed my husband, which is saying something. There is no comparison to the public school teachers we’ve seen. This really is what every child should get.</p>
<p>So agree Wcmom, that is why I am encouraging as many talented high school friends and family members (who would benefit from the experience) as I can to apply. There just is no comparison to our local public school.</p>
<p>Ditto. That’s why we attended S classes both days and ended up missing the parent sessions, just couldn’t get enough. Every single one of his teachers is fantastic. S is so happy and motivated.</p>
<p>I feel like I should add something here, though this may be the wrong thread. Neither of my kids is/are in HADES, GLADCHEMMS, high muckety muck, etc. schools. Yet, my husband and I, who know more about education than almost anyone we know, have been truly mesmerized by the quality of everything from teaching to advising to athletics at both schools. I say this for the benefit of all those who think that it’s only worth it if you go to a famous/top tier school. So many of these schools are just so great compared to anything else. To some degree I think it depends where you come from. If you are a top student coming from a top urban private school, maybe you need HADES, etc. (maybe!) but if you are coming from most places (in our case a good private in a semi-rural area) then probably the majority of these schools will be challenging and enriching enough for even the best students.</p>
<p>LOL ChoatieMom- we did the same thing our first parents weekend. Never made it to the Saturday sessions! I remember being so happy that my children not only had inspiring teachers, but inspiring classmates. When everyone is smart and engaged, there is a whole different feel to a high school class. My kids were amazed that there were never any disruptive students, or any who needed any kind of discipline in the classroom- ever. Such a difference from their K-8 education…</p>
<p>We were down at SAS’ Parents Weekend for the day yesterday and really enjoyed ourselves. The gorgeous Fall weather certainly helped.</p>
<p>+1 on what wcmom said in post #131. Based on our parent teacher conferences this past weekend, I can say that our daughter (who has strong grades, test scores, and a HADES admission under her belt) is adequately challenged by the classes at her non-HADES school. But more importantly, the teachers with whom we met already had a good understanding of SevenDaughter’s strengths and weaknesses and seemed very committed to helping her work on both.</p>
<p>The proximity (just a 2 hour drive each way) and size of the St. Andrew’s continue to be very appealing. We ran into some families we met at the revisit last Spring as well at the fieldhouse gala a few weeks ago, and I was able to find and chat with some fellow SAS parents from the CC forum. I don’t know if that sort of thing would happen as easily at schools 2 or 3 (or 5) times the size of SAS…where there are just too many people to find a nametag in a crowd. More SAS rah-rah to come on the SAS thread.</p>
<p>People at church today asked me if I miss SevenDaughter. And of course I do, but as I think I’ve noted elsewhere, I’m happy to be able to give her younger sister the attention that may have been lacking in the bustle of our boarding school search last year. And I’ve seen SevenDaughter twice already this month and will have her home over Thanksgiving Break, which makes the separation manageable.</p>
<p>What else…oh, I brought my in-laws to Middletown yesterday as they had never visited the campus before. My mother-in-law commented (positively!) on the relative modesty of the girls’ attire and the lack of visible electronic use (texting, etc.). And we all know what tough critics mothers-in-law can be ;-P</p>
<p>Wanted to circle back on a topic that came up on another thread: Spending money/allowance.</p>
<p>I left SevenDaughter with $100 in cash back on Labor Day weekend. It has lasted until now (end of Oct). I think the bulk of her spending has been on “on the weekend” food…but mostly heat-and-eat stuff, not delivery. She has access to a kitchen shared between two attached dorms. So about $50 a month seems to be working for our family.</p>
<p>Only one non-book/school supplies debit purchase so far, a t-shirt.</p>
<p>Would love to hear other 1st year parents’ experiences on this topic (and any others!).</p>
<p>@SevenDad: like you, we’ve had very few expenses since school started. This is good since airfare is becoming prohibitive! That said, our youngest had to leave campus with a friend pretty abruptly because of power outages this weekend and is staying with his friend in a large city – but with no access to cash for now. We are counting on the kindness of strangers, and while it fits with the school culture, I have to say that this is more than I planned on when I sent my kid away at 14. Kid sounded happy and relaxed during last call. We parents - not so much.</p>
<p>S is trying his hardest to spend nothing but laundry money ($8/week, paid by us, but he does it himself). He had started a "car "fund when he was eight with birthday/Christmas/allowance money and decided when he opted for BS that he would use that fund as his spending money over his four years and just share the family car once he has a permit/license. So, that has given him a pretty strict monthly budget number that he is trying to keep below. (Funny how once theyre using their own money they think twice about movies, take-out, shopping at the school store, etc.) But, SevenDad, your number seems about right.</p>
<p>One unexpected set back (which we handled as it was a school expense) was a textbook for a class that he transferred out of. School said they couldnt buy this particular book back (as it was out of its shrink wrap!), but he might be able to sell it back as used at the end of the school year. So, we had to pay for a different textbook that was wicked expensive (arent they all?). I suppose ranting over the cost of textbooks is off-topic here, but Ive heard all the reasons why they are so expensive and dont buy any of it; its pure robbery. Ive gotten advice about other sources for books that we will certainly use in the future where possible but, in this case, he needed the new one ASAP. Otherwise, no surprises.</p>
<p>@wcmom1958: S called Saturday to describe a snow plow to us! Im still cracking up.</p>
<p>Some options - my daughter didn’t sell her books back to the bookstore. Too little “return” on her investment. Instead she sold them to a rising sophomore for a good price. I know sometimes books change, but if you don’t want to take the risk, have him wait until next year when it’s clear what books are available. Or sell them independently on ebay or Amazon (i.e don’t sell them TOO Amazon for pennies, but sell as an independent seller).</p>
<p>I wasn’t shocked by many things - except for the cost of books which seemed more expensive than the ones I buy for my D in college. Sigh - I wish BS’s had similar book lists then we could just set up our own outpost for parents to swap and sell.</p>
<p>The best thing about SYA is the books and travel excursions are built into the tuition. No sticker shock this year.</p>
<p>Thanksgiving Break observations:
-Was her hair this long when we saw her on Parents Weekend?
-Seems so much more grown up than when we dropped her off in early Sept.
-More likely to wear dress to family dinner at nice restaurant than ever (and of her own initiative!).
-Stories about school are much more coherent and forthcoming now.
-Relatively small size of school enhances chance of running into parents we know by name.</p>
<p>1st quarter grades are in…wondering how parents feel about rigor of child’s BSs — is it harder/easier or about the same as your child’s middle/previous school??? Feel free to use PM for privacy if you want.</p>
<p>Fun to have Pelicanchild at home for a while. Especially glad that he went thru exams before the holiday, so he can relax and we don’t have to be on him about working. Learning lots about not only BS culture, but the transition to high school in general. I can’t help but feel that the biggest first year adjustment is social above all else. Still remain very impressed with the level of attentiveness of the school in general, but his advisor in particular. For us it feels like a close set of eyes who we have a strong rapport with, for Pelicanchild advisor is someone who he can look up to, who helps him out but also reminds him to buckle down, and who does flat out fun things with his relatively small group of advisees. Seems like a good fit for this year, and the future.</p>
<p>Happy holidays, all!</p>
<p>In maternal agony waiting for DS to land at 11PM tonight; no direct flight on any airline from school to home. Has a final this afternoon followed by a tight race to airport for first leg and one-hour layover before final leg. Been watching the weather map and praying for on-time arrivals/departures. Not sure I’ll be able to release him from that first hug. Starting to think BS was a crazy idea. Someone talk me down. I’ll update on observations when I have some. Right now, I’m thinking once he’s home, perhaps I’ll keep him… (not really, he’s too happy, but I never thought I’d miss him this much, didn’t even cry at drop-off, now wondering if I’m insane). Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.</p>