I think if my son has to choose between his future wife’s sadness as opposed to his mother’s, good idea to go with wife! He has many years ahead with his lovely fiancee , and hopefully kids.
I look forward to a mother/son dance, even if it’s a year and a half later! He’s 6’6" , I’m 5 '6" so that will be interesting ! He’s a handsome guy so I think we’ll look marvelous!
You will be an amazing MIL, @sevmom.
@sevmom I can totally understand how you feel, but believe when the time comes, and they are “legally” married, you will be excited for them. My daughter and SIL got married before their actually wedding in the states while in the UK where they lived due to visa issues for my daughter. The big wedding and reception were in our home city 6 months later. My SIL’s parents lived 2 hours away by car, but were not allowed to attend as we would not be able to be there. I did tell my daughter that I would be sad to miss the date, they downplayed it so much, I actually forget at times that they married early. The kids looked at the UK marriage as just a piece of paper, but the big wedding in the states as their real wedding; they use the wedding date here as their anniversary.
My D and SIL each have one witness with them; each of their best friends. The only people that even know about the early wedding are the witnesses, the siblings and parents. They actually do not even talk about that day. Of course it will be different for your son as they are waiting a year for the big event, but that wedding will be just as special.
Good to hear your first person story @snowball.
@deb922 They just don’t see anything changing very much before next spring in terms of feeling confident with committing to venues then. They are willing to wait.
One week to go, fingers crossed. I actually feel like it’s déja due all over again since it’s been almost exactly one year since I threw them an engagement party in our yard. Tonight we had our best friends over for a very socially distanced pizza dinner and the evening was lovely so I’m hoping for the same next week.
Only thing that is stressing me a little (other than the weather 
) is that rather than showing up and feeling like the venue has the wedding details all under control, I have to juggle all the moving parts. Last thing to fall in line, other than frosting the wedding cake and baking a challah on Friday, is dealing with the staffing. The caterer recommended them, and I know it’s adding more vectors to the evening but we are having 2 masked and gloved servers so I don’t have to worry about getting the food out after the ceremony. There are only 19 of us, so it shouldn’t be a big deal but I’m happy to let others worry about it. A risk we’re willing to take. I can’t believe this is finally going to happen - not what we planned but I hope it will be a very special memory for S and FDIL.
@runnersmom it will be lovely! Looking forward to hearing all about it.
Yes, it sounds lovely @runnersmom . And the big storm coming up the east coast should be out of your way by mid week. So, hopefully the weather will be just fine! Have a wonderful day!
Runnersmom, can’t you have a friend make the Challah? It is so time consuming, what with everything else going on.
@bookworm, I could, but “stay at home” during Covid has allowed me to get the challah making process down pat so I can have it rising/baking while I frost the wedding cake. It’s also something my S and I have been doing in tandem during the pandemic so it’s special to him that I’m doing it. What will be time consuming is decorating the yard, but I will have many extra hands around during the day to set up.
I can’t express how helpful all the support I’ve received from all of you wonderful people on this thread has been in dealing with the ups and downs associated with this wedding. I know how lucky we are when I see what others are dealing with in this crazy time but I will be a very happy woman when my S steps on that glass to signal that they are officially and legally wed.
@runnersmom, I’m getting excited for you. Your stepping on the glass statement gave me goosebumps!
@runnersmom YOU deserve a honeymoon after this is signed, sealed, delivered!
I am so impressed by the work you are doing in the kitchen and out of the kitchen. Also I think the idea of servers is SMART!!!
Personalized surgical-type masks just arrived! I am in the crazy lady detail phase now!!! @abasket, thanks for the confirmation on the servers - that’s been weighing on my mind.
It will be fabulous, @runnersmom ! Congrats!
You deserve to enjoy the day, so having servers is a good idea. You’re doing so much to make this day special for your S and FDIL. It sounds like it will be wonderful and memorable.
Somehow, I got unbookmarked and assumed this thread was quiet. 162 posts later, I’m caught up. I agree sevmom is doing the only thing she can do, take this on bravely but when asked, answer honestly. It’s tough. Best wishes to all with upcoming events.
I’m not the least concerned about coordinating my MOB dress with FSIL’s stepmom’s or his mother’s. I’ve had no communication with them (He’s closer to the stepmom.) I guess I should bring that up.
Still on for Nov. D1 is stir crazy with furlough. Since D2 went ahead and got a new, more professional job, D1 decided to look, has/had some interviews by cell, it distracts her and the prep feels like responsible work, as opposed to just hanging out.
Right now, we can have 100 for an inside wedding, if a licensed caterer and we initiate contact with the state, to assure them we take precautions. She’s got a core list of 25, would like the freedom to up it to 50. It’s wait and see.
But, the plan now is the ceremony, masks, some toast after, maybe a few passed appetizers, but only family and attendants at a sit-down maybe 30-45 minutes later. Exactly how she’ll get other guests out, I don’t know. We agree not to be gauche or make anyone uncomfortable. But every communication so far with guests, explaining the situation, has been met with generous understanding. One example affecting me is possibly cutting my closest local friends, a couple who even entertain D1 and FSIL without me (how freaking odd is that!) Their reaction was, “Of course, we understand.”
Thank the stars, she cancelled a bride weekend in SC! Instead, D2 and a couple of the attendants are planning a surprise local trip.
Love the idea of personalized masks. Going to text her about that now.
We can only do what we can, for our kids, at this stage. I try to focus on supportive. Sometimes she’ll take a suggestion. Other times, I need to back off.
DD2 is part of a bridesmaid long weekend in Portland OR area in Oct - some kind of festival (?) - bride is from TX and DD2 is in AL. Airline tickets are booked. We shall see. Wedding in TX in Dec. I have not made many inquiries on this, so my lack of knowledge on the specifics on what they are planning to do there… I think the TX wedding will happen. Not sure about the OR trip.
Well, it’s finally happened. One of mine is engaged. Of course, with Covid, all sorts of obstacles and uncertainties as to how the wedding will proceed.
One of the cousins had a big wedding planned in the spring that has been pushed to October that may end up being a very small ceremony instead as travel restrictions, gathering rules may still be in place, as the virus looms over all of the planning. Unless there is a huge change in this landscape, we won’t be able to attend. My kids , the same. . So perhaps just those local to them and immediate family … if an event of any size is permitted.
So, of course my son and FDIL are facing similar challenges. Venues difficult to get anytime in the future as brides whose weddings were postponed are in line first. Then, the fear that it won’t happen after all the planning. We’ll just have to see. I’m just along for the ride as far as they want me along.
Congratulations @cptofthehouse ! Great news in the middle of a pandemic! All the best.
Continuing saga of my goddaughters wedding… the large event postponed from early May to Aug.22.
They resend invites and asked people to RSVP again - now for 3 events - an added golf event and luncheon on Friday (DURING COVID YOU ARE ADDING EVENTS?!!), the church vow renewal and the reception.
I think people must be nervous about attending. She posted on FB tonight saying “friends and family…no we will not be video streaming our intimate event.” And then vague content about “things are weird we know in 2020 but we don’t want to video our wedding”. That’s fine of course it’s their choice - but I have to think this was prompted by lots of people not being sure about attending in person.