I had some health problems, physical and mental, which messed up the first 4 years after high school. I started getting healthier for the first time last year.
All the time I struggle with feelings of starting too late. I only have 2 years of college done and will be a junior this year. I will graduate at 26 or 27 with a B.A.
If my health was better and my parents were more supportive, I could of been so much more. When I’m healthy and at school, I’m a straight A student, a leader, etc. I thrive. Being forced to work at Baskin Roobins while struggling with OCD and post-nasal drip, eventually leading to drug abuse, I feel sometimes it broke my spirits. I was so happy, energetic, and optimistic at 18. I never got to blossom.
I’m terrified of having a mediocre life. I decided when I was 17 that life was only worth living, not surviving. That sets you apart from most people, and was a good start. So many bad things kept happening… Now I realize that a lot of my high school and community college education was a waste of time. Ideally I should of been in running start. Only now have I learned to educate myself by being an avid reader of philosophy and literature classics. I realize I’m still ahead of most people my age statistically speaking, but it bothers me because I had so much potential. I was smart, and had artistic talent.
Anyone have some kind of insight? I feel like I was cheated out of the life I was supposed to have and want to be 19 or at least 21 again. I haven’t had much fun either. I know this is self-indulgent but this feeling has been torturing me for a long time and I have no one to talk to.
As someone who is twice your age, let me tell you this one thing: you’ll live many lives throughout your life. This is just a phase of it, and you’ve clearly been through other phases before. Most people’s 20s are a wash. Graduating at 26 or 27 is no big deal, although I’m sure it feels like it now. There is still PLENTY of time to reach your potential.
Here’s the tough love: You’re going to face far worse things in life than working at Baskin Robbins and post-nasal drip. You weren’t cheated out of anything. You aren’t owed a better, or a different life. You don’t get to choose the cards you’re dealt, only how you play them. You need to figure out a goal to hit post-college and stop living in the past, in What Might Have Been Land. That’s not coming back. It’s wasted effort, and (you called it) self-indulgent. You’ve got to put it behind you and move forward with all your might.
You’re in college, something most people in the developed world, and a tiny fraction of the whole world get to do. Enjoy it. Make the most of it. Live in the now but aim towards the future, towards the adult you want to grow into. Life is L O N G and you have a lot of it ahead of you to live an extraordinary life. Good luck.
Sounds like you traveled a tough road to get where you are and that is to be applauded.
You can either decide to focus on what you missed OR focus on what is in front of you. You can’t change the past. Thinking about what you missed out on is an exercise in futility and will no doubt lead you to depression and angst. Put one foot in front of the other and move forward.
You are only 24. You can STILL be so much more. But here’s the catch: people around you can feel resentment and they can feel a negative attitude and they can feel angst. If you are full of those things, they will KEEP holding you back—it will keep you from jobs, promotions and enjoying colleagues and your future profession.
I don’t know if you are old enough to remember Ann Landers, but she was an advice columnist for many years whose opinions were well-respected and quoted by many. Someone once wrote to her and said: “I am 30 years old and want to go back to school and medical school but it will take 7 years and I will be 37 when I graduate and that’s old!” Ann wrote back - “and if you don’t go to school, in 7 years, you will still be 37 years old but you won’t be a doctor!”
My friend’s H dropped out of college in his early 20’s. A few years ago, in his mid-50’s, he went back to college and is now a nurse. He doesn’t regret the years he spent doing other things, but he is so happy that he went back. Another friend’s H didn’t graduate from college until he was close to 40, but he then earned two masters’ degrees in the following 5 years.
If a college degree is what you want, go for it. I went to a commuter school and worked, so I took many classes at night. I was 17 when I began college and just turning 21 when I finished. Some of my best memories are of being in classes with people who were older than me. I was so impressed by their drive and motivation to be in school, often after many years away from formal education. Their insights and perspectives were so valuable to me. In fact, when I went to law school, I sought out older classmates to be in my study group. My best friends in law school were 15 years or more older than me.
As an older student, you have so much to offer your classmates.
One of my son’s best friends in college is a guy closer to your age, who went to cc while dealing with various life issues, got things on track, and now a top student at a top school. No it’s never too late. Put your past behind you and go for it !
In two years you can be someone with a college degree…or someone without a college degree.
I have a friend who started college the “normal” way right out of HS…but soon found the pharmacy program too much, and then was diagnosed with OCD/depression plus helped take care of her aging/ailing parents…she finally got her degree at 40 years old!!
My sister in law dropped out of college after a year…but when she was in her 40’s she want back to school to become a teacher…and soon will retire with a good pension.
Be glad that you have persisted and worked on your health and your school work. YOu may have a different path but you have never given up!!!
I dropped out of high school after failing 10th grade…married at 16. Ended up in a dead end job with absolutely no benefits for 8 years. Then woke up and realized I was tired of being in an abusive marriage with no job skills and no ability to support myself. Divorced, moved back into my parents home. Graduated with my BSN at age 31. Graduated from Nurse practitioner school at 36 and have not looked back. I am now twice divorced but able to support myself and my child.
Life is not a race. We all travel different roads to get where we need to be.