25 min SAT Timed Essay...Please Rate!

<p>Here is my 25 min Timed Essay for the New SAT...I would really appreciate it if some of you all could grade it from 2-12 and tell me how I do! Thanks (hopefully you're eyes won't burn from reading this):</p>

<p>Technology promises to make our lives easier, freeing up time for leisure pursuits. But the rapid pace of technological innovation and the split second processing capabilities of computers that can work virtually nonstop ahve made all of us feel rushed. We have adopted the relentless pace of the very machiens that were supposed to simplify our lives, with the result that, whether at work or play, people do not feel like their lives have changed for the better.</p>

<p>Do changes that make our lives easier not necessarily make them better? yada yada yada......support etc.</p>

<p>Often, the easiest way to do something is not the best way to do it. In the same spirit, changes that have made our lives easier do not necessarily make them better. The veracity of this claim is evidenced by the development of more and more sophisticated computers and even by the example of substances which some abuse in an attempt to escape reality, such as alcohol or drugs.</p>

<p>From before the turn of the 20th century, computers have existed, but only recently have they gained the awesome power and capabilities that allows them to play such a huge role in human society. However, although these machines were intended to ease life and remove rote tasks from the lives of some by performing calculations and storing data, computers have had the opposite effect. Since computers open up a whole new world of possibilities, people feel increasingly compelled to explore more ways to “ease” human life using the computer as a tool. This in turn has caused even more stress upon the human race, and indeed made life worse. Clearly, then, the computer is a consummate example of an invention that, although intended to make life easier, has made life more rushed and stressful.</p>

<p>Not only is the computer an example of such a two faced devil-in-disguise, but so are the means by which some attempt to escape their problems. Originally, drugs were used solely for medical purposes, such as the use of opium as a soothing agent in ancient Western China. However, today, many are addicted to such drugs and have built a physical and emotional dependency on these substances. Drugs have had opposite of the intended effect, and today, many lives have been ruined by something that was originally intended to ameliorate human life, whether it be use of anesthesias before operations or simple pain relief.</p>

<p>All in all, it is clear that many changes that make human life easier do not actually make life better, and this is easily shown by considering the examples of recent computers , and the use of certain substances, that allow their users to temporarily feel good, but later have an undesired effect.</p>

<p>I would give this an 5 out of 6. It is well written, but my advice would be to work on more concrete examples. The drugs paragraph has specific examples-"opium in Western China", and you can add some more. The computer paragraph, however, does not seem to have any specific examples.</p>

<p>Post the prompt...</p>

<p>w00t practice scores back:
math: still 800
verbal: still 680 :(
writing: jumped to 800 :)</p>

<p>im pretty sure if i just spend a weekend studying the verbal then i can get it to an 800 :s :(</p>

<p>4.5/6.</p>

<p>Try to use literary and historical examples so that you can name drop and sound exceedingly intelligent. Have a sentence at the end of each body paragraph that ties the example back to the prompt in a clear, fluid manner. Try to use 3 examples if at all possible.</p>

<p>Hey Captain, what do you mean "you got them back." How did you get someone to grade your essay?</p>

<p>the computer paragraph seems a little weak. There's no examples or any reasoning to support it. But except for that it's solid.</p>

<p>what the heck is the topic or question?</p>

<p>I'm sorry if it wasn't clear. The topic is what's written first:</p>

<p>Technology promises to make our lives easier, freeing up time for leisure pursuits. But the rapid pace of technological innovation and the split second processing capabilities of computers that can work virtually nonstop ahve made all of us feel rushed. We have adopted the relentless pace of the very machiens that were supposed to simplify our lives, with the result that, whether at work or play, people do not feel like their lives have changed for the better.</p>

<p>Do changes that make our lives easier not necessarily make them better? yada yada yada......support etc.</p>

<p>i<code>d probably give it a 4-5ish, though it</code>s not quite clear what the prompt is (since you said yada yada yada...). your examples are supportive, though try not to get into a lot of details. judges don`t neccessarily know about some of the things you write. keep that in mind.</p>

<p>I think you show that you have great control of the English language, but the essay lacked organization a little bit... only a little bit. Try to bolster your conclusion, although it was decent. Haha, I think that prompt was from that College Board New SAT book.</p>