<p>Welcome to cc, av8tr.
Yes, many oldtimers here have become familiar with the posts of other old timers, so it was, to say the least, a shock to see the OP accuse some of the oldtimers, who have kindly shared their/their kid’s history, of making up stories. It doesn’t so much matter what school a kid attends, but it DOES matter if they tell different things in different places. It is kind of you to rally to this kid’s defense, but many of the oldtimers (front and backchannel) had their antennae up. Oldfort’s post is spot on.</p>
<p>Hi CD,
Yes, I am familiar with Augusta. I didn’t live there, but my DH did, and I visited many times. There is a reason he moved here rather than vice versa. That said, it isn’t a two horse, one stoplight town.</p>
<p>Evans certainly was when I lived there… :)</p>
<p>av8r:</p>
<p>I don’t think I’ve ever seen a parent try to sabotage a student’s chance. Mistaken advice? yes. We all make errors. Advice offered in too blunt away. That, too. But lying or being motivated by malice toward students? No, never. </p>
<p>jym: I can’t recall which one of my many (!!!) posts you are referring to. Sometimes, it is very useful to recall old information as posters don’t always update. In fact, I should do it more often:)</p>
<p>Thank you for the welcome. From reading this, it does sound like you’re sincerely trying to help. Really, many of you are like a group of old friends. Sharing things with each other that you might never share with even your best friends or family. So you truly know the intentions of the other posters and feel the draw to stand by them because you feel their motives are good. Yet a brand new cc kid has no idea of this. He just hears things that he feels are put downs from people he has no idea of their intentions, and feels badly. Even as a unsuspecting parent, with no antennae out, it’s hard to tell sometimes. And Marite, I agree, I don’t think any parents are trying to sabotage students or lying to them. I am just concerned that thousands of people could read these posts and the child could be identified by revealing too much.</p>
<p>Indeed, I agree that people should not reveal too much about themselves on a board that is anonymous and that, moreover, is often read by GCs and admission officers.
But anyone who comes to the Parents Forum of CC has got to think that people WILL try to be helpful. Otherwise, why come at all? And if one wants to disregard advice, by all means, s/he is totally free to do so. Thank you, but not thanks. That’s enough. No need to accuse parents of being e-thugs or lying about their own children’s experiences or questioning their motivations (sabotaging others so their own kids’ chances of admission are enhanced). Some of the people who have been accused of one or the other in this thread have been some of the most helpful posters on CC, too!</p>
<p>I agree with marite- no one is trying to “sabotage” any poster’s chances at any school, or to try to keep them from applying to minimize the competition (as was suggested by the OP).</p>
<p>And thank you-- I was (and am) truly trying to help. And to do so, I looked at a few of the many, many other threads that the OP started to learn a little more so as to be able to help in a meaningful way (He, like you, is relatively new to cc.) OK, he has a 3.2 GPA. No wait. He says its a 3.4. No wait, he says its a 3.5 (all unweighted, IIRC). He wants desperately to get out of GA. He can only apply to 8 schools. But he has already applied (I believe) to 3 instate schools. He went to a Science and Engineering magnet. No wait he went to a Fine Arts magnet. He lives in a small rural town in the deep south. No wait, he lives in the second largest city in the state. His parents will spend $10K per year, no wait, 15K per year. No wait, $25K per year. My head is spinning. With the best of intentions, it is simply hard to provide useful recommendations or suggestions until there is better consistency. Hopefully you can see the dilemna. </p>
<p>Many of us stay here because we have a lot of experience and info and like to help these kids. So, to have one call posters fabricators and fools who don’t know anything, etc, especially when that is far from the truth, is tough to take. Just as you have come to the defense of the OP, some of use have come to the defense of the posters under attack. Both are understandable. </p>
<p>Some posters are more direct than others. Some take feedback better than others. Either way, hopefully the OP can hear that posters were trying to help answer his questions. But at times it feels like trying to hold onto sand, and can get frustrating.</p>
<p>CD-
I forget when you were in Evans. DH was in Martinez. Do you remember the Purple Onion??</p>
<p>I heartily agree with Marite and Jym that this board is full of parents who are so well intentioned and so selfless in sharing their thoughts and experience. Already their input is making a HUGE difference in the way I am guiding S2. (Alas, I did not discover Parents Forum early enough for S1, but in the end, he is at a place perfect for him: a dumb, beginer’s luck). Without this group’s intervention (via their wonderful feedback and insight), S2 will have ended up in a rather unexciting state flagship or a private school with a questionable return on investment ratio. Instead, he has an excellent chance to go to an ideal school for him with the very best ROTC program in the nation.</p>
<p>By now, I believe, collectively, this board is better than any admission officer input or guidance counselor input, since it’s most honest and objective with no ulterior motive. Collectively, I have yet to see a group of total strangers who were so willing to help. I try to do my part to bring the cosmic balance of justice in line by contributing when I can as much as I can.</p>
<p>As such, it was a shock to see a teenager hurling attacks, accusations, and abuses to helpful parents whose only crime was to share their honest feedback (ok, some were rather direct or blunt, but still honest and earnest feedback). Yes, I have been served here and there some snide remarks (what can I say, some people love to hurl cheap shots - not my style, but hey, everyone has to have some entertainment, right?), But I have never seen a teenager or adult accusing other posters who were sharing their actual experience of lying and making up stories with sinister ulterior motives. </p>
<p>As much as I applaud some posters here who are still trying to help or try to “understand” the original poster, I don’t think in the long run, this is helping him. We are “enabling” his bad behavior by continuing to engage him and even maybe “excusing” his ill manners and “rewarding” his behavior. There are a lot kids who are very deserving who ask for help on this board. I am helping a couple of kids right now with essays and such (through PM). Both of them come from very disadvantaged background, and no adults are helping them. It’s been quite rewarding to help them as they are receptive, thoughtful, and appreciative. When they make it to a good school, I will have a vicarious sense of achievement through them. </p>
<p>Yes, there are kids who had tough time. I had my share when I was growing up (not socio economically, mine was a different kind), but it still does not give them a free pass for unabashedly unpleasant and insulting attitudes to perfect strangers who were just trying to help them and had no part in the past wrong done to them by other people. </p>
<p>I would rather not become an enabler for bad behavior.</p>
<p>Ohio State would be a good school to add to this list. I agree…a match (admission could go either way). Re: aid for OOS students…OSU has some highly competitive scholarships for very high achieving applicants. OOS tuition costs in Ohio are higher than any of the figures the OP has indicated his parents will pay. I seriously doubt that the state of Ohio will offer much in the form of aid…OSU does not meet full need. </p>
<p>OP…if you are interested in getting aid AND going out of state, try looking at some of the schools that are NOT the flagship U’s. Ohio has a ton of public universities. OSU and Miami (Oxford) are the two most difficult admits. None of the schools will meet full need and merit aid will be more plentiful at less competitive schools in the state…if you are looking for aid.</p>
<p>BTW, FWIW, here’s the “test” to see if a person qualifies for in-state residency at OSU [Home</a> Page - Office of the University Registrar - The Ohio State University](<a href=“http://www.ureg.ohio-state.edu/ourweb/more//Content/Residency/SelectiveService_New.htm]Home”>http://www.ureg.ohio-state.edu/ourweb/more//Content/Residency/SelectiveService_New.htm)</p>
<p>If either of OP’s parents are in the military (possible, with the family’s frequent relocations and Ft. Gordon being in Augusta) there may be a waiver of some of the residency requirements at some point. Dunno for sure-- he’d have to take the “test” linked above or read this: [University</a> System of Ohio - Opportunities](<a href=“http://uso.edu/opportunities/ohioGIpromise/tuition.php]University”>http://uso.edu/opportunities/ohioGIpromise/tuition.php) Here’s a general description of some things that help, or are necessary to establish in-state residency [FinAid</a> | In-State Tuition and State Residency Requirements](<a href=“http://www.finaid.org/otheraid/stateresidency.phtml]FinAid”>http://www.finaid.org/otheraid/stateresidency.phtml)</p>
<p>I understand the parents are very well intentioned and it is human nature to defend ones self and ones friends when insulting things are said. On the other hand, I am interested in what actually works. Though it may feel good to talk about bad behavior and other kids that have it worse than this kid…does it actually help this poster? If we aren’t trying to help this person, then what are we trying to do? I believe that people are basically good and will respond so when treated with respect and understanding (especially since most of us on this thread appear to be adults and should not respond in kind). If we were to leave out anything that could possibly appear confrontational, condescending or negative-but just offer positive options, the OP would be more responsive and even get some useful information.</p>
<p>I know it’s easy for me to say because I don’t know any of you and don’t feel defensive towards other parents, but I am purely interested in what actually works, for this specific person. And I can understand why parents who have tried to help and feel rejected would give up. I’m glad that others are still continuing to try.</p>
<p>I’m curious about what you think you are contributing toward helping the OP. </p>
<p>I, too, am interested in what actually works. Which is why it is useful to caution students against what will most probably not work. But I remain curious about your own advice to the OP. Right now, what I see from you is a lot of lecturing parents-- parents who have helped and continue to help many, many, many students.</p>
<p>jym:
The OP seems to have come to this country fairly recently from India so it is not very likely that he belongs to a military family. good try, though.
I did not go through his previous posts. Is $25k (or whatever amount) per year? Or for all four years? For $25k or even less per year, he could attend quite good public universities.
Here is the info for Stony Brook
[quote]
The Middle 50% of Our 2009 Enrolled Freshmen Had:</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>His SAT score would certainly put him in the range, and SB tuition and fees for OOS students are about $25k. Other good public universities probably require similar SAT scores and cost either the same or a bit less. For example, UNH costs about $21k and the admitted stats are:</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>A few pages back, the OP asked about the U of Washington. I will weigh in and say I don’t think the OP would be especially competitive OOS with the stats that have been provided. UWashington is certainly not a safety for the OP and not really at match level either. The OP would not be competitive for merit aid which is close to non-existent for OOS.</p>
<p>What I am trying to do is steer this into a positive and helpful discussion for the OP. There has been a great deal of useful advice in this thread that may have been overlooked because of the negative exchanges between the OP and the parents. It may be, as jym626, just a futile attempt, holding onto sand…but I think this kid is worth a try.</p>
<p>marite,
It the risk of someone jumping all over me for doing my HW (please don’t, I am just answering marite’s question), here’s what the OP said about his background
Thats a lot of moving around, and could be associated with a branch of the government or military. </p>
<p>I do agree with you about the parents getting lectured here more than seems necessary. To his credit, the OP apologized way back for being so abrasive to the posters, but then continued to do it. Av8r, do you have any recommendations for the OP? LOL, I just noticed that av8r and protag joined CC within less than a week of each other. Who knows if they might even be related…</p>
<p>jym:</p>
<p>You may right! I was more focused on his experience of being harassed because of his ethnicity. Moving around can’t have made for an easy life.</p>
<p>Nope, not related. If I was, I would be his best advocate and he’d get more college information than he ever desired! I just felt that I saw the hurt in him, and wanted to turn it positive. And I sent my recommendations to him via a PM. He was very thankful. I think we have lost him from cc.</p>
<p><em>breathes in breathes out</em></p>
<p>at the request of a very good poster I share my college list with you, it will be narrowed down.</p>
<p>Ohio State University
University of Vermont
University of Delaware
University of Minnesota (might take off my list)
College of Charleston
James Madison University
University of New Hampshire (it may be a better deal than UVM which costs 33k per year for tuition)
John Carroll University
One of the SUNYs perhaps</p>
<p>I need to work on my essay for Boston College. I can’t throw away my application but I have 4 more colleges to apply to and I need at least one reach, I guess BC will be that reach.</p>
<p>Thank you all for your advice whether it was harsh or whether it was amiable.
I hope this college admissions process goes for the best.</p>
<p>PS: I don’t want to go indepth with personal discussions but those are my college goals. Hopefully I get outta this state! O_O! That is one goal I am hoping come trues.
The feeling hurts but my favorite artist says that “Life is a game of chess, take 5 moves ahead and not behind”. I will apply, I get in wherever I get in, I go wherever my grades and SATs take me and wherever I get in I will do all I can to get the highest GPA possible. I am still a bit disgruntled that I never had the opportunity to grow up in NY or Massachusetts (I REALLY loved living in those states) but it is what it is (that is the feeling I was talking about). </p>
<p>Hopefully for grad school (med school most likely) I can get into Harvard or Yale. This time I want to succeed and this time I will go in swinging and instead of disgruntled and upset (unlike my first 2 years of high school).</p>
<p>Looks like a very good list. Best of luck.</p>