It’s my folks 40th anniversary this year. I’ve been thinking of getting them a gift or maybe a party or trip or anything. Has anyone else had a 40th anniversary or been part of a 40th anniversary party and if so would you be willing to let me know things you’ve seen or ideas you’ve had?
I’d love to send them on a cruise (they’ve never been), but it’s so hard to plan ahead with Covid and knowing what state the world will be in.
We celebrated our 40th this past October. Quietly. Just us. No fanfare. 
Are you sure your folks would appreciate a trip, cruise, or party? We wouldn’t, but everyone’s different.
I think they’d appreciate a party - My family is big into family and my mom loves any excuse to get everyone together. I remember my mother organizing a big surprise party for my grandparents at their 50th anniversary.
My folks have been traveling around in recent years seeing baseball games at various stadiums, so it could be neat to get them tickets to a few games at a place they haven’t been to yet. I think they’d like that.
You are on the right track thinking about experiences and not stuff! 
I think it really depends on the couple.
When my mom was moving her parents closer to them - they were building a new house so the process took awhile - my mom found a lot of long forgotten items stuffed in their basement, including stacks of never seen (by my mom) photographs and my grandma’s wedding dress wrapped in a bedsheet behind the oil heater. My mom secretly had the wedding dress restored and it fit my sister. So for their 50th, she made two small albums: the first was “the first 25 years” with the cover of my grandma in the dress. And the second, she had my sister professionally photographed in the dress in black and white. She presented it to them in a restaurant where we all secretly drove the 8-9 hours to surprise them. It was a great day.
My parents OTOH, didn’t want a party or anything. They chose to go to NYC where the met and lived and just spent time going to all the their old favorite places, first date, where they got engaged, etc.
I like the idea of sending them to a baseball game somewhere they’ve never been. Is there any way the family could secretly gather there? Either at the game too or a dinner before?
This is where all
Of our introvert or extrovert tendencies speak. 
But you know your parents and we don’t. From what you say I think the baseball tickets idea only a city they haven’t been before with a hotel or Airbnb and a fun dinner (fancy or not depending what they like) is a great idea if you can swing it.
I like that idea better than a longer structured trip or cruise.
We had our 40th this year too. I made a short video to music with pics of us and played it on our tv for him and the kids. The song was Simple Minds “Alive and Kicking” - lol, but one of my favorite feel good songs. We laughed and cried. 
We did a family party and I spent months digitizing old slides and photos, and made a long movie to music.
Our 40th is next year. D and I might go on a short trip to celebrate, but we would not be interested in a party. When my parents were celebrating their 40th, my mom had recently completed chemotherapy. We were all in the mood to celebrate, so we had a brunch at a lovely local restaurant. We invited their friends & family. We had the whole upstairs, so the set up was perfect for circulating & chatting.
Every couple is different. Perhaps talk to your parents – let them know you’d like to treat them to something special such as a trip, a party, a nice meal with immediate family, etc. and see what they would like. (FWIW H and I would choose a nice meal with immediate family.)
For their 30th, we had a custom bobble head made of them wearing their baseball jerseys and jeans. They were amazed. We had to submit photos of each of them from the front and side/profile so that they could get the heads right. It sits in their living room (with other bobble heads my mom has collected at games). Everyone that sees it has their minds blown. Lol. It looks just like them!! (it better, we spent almost $200 on that thing!)
I’m going to guess you are on the introvert side of that equation?
Happy Anniversary!
possibly - they’ve been to all of the closest parks… the closest one that they haven’t been to yet is about 5 hours away. Which is a bit far for a surprise. I could swing it, but my sister and her fiance and his kiddo probably would not be able to.
Ok, not 40th, but we threw parties for my parents for their 35th and 50th. They enjoyed both, but I think the last one (the 50th) was especially meaningful for them. Friends and family traveled from all over the country to celebrate, and it was the last time they saw some of those people (who have since passed). In the 7 years since, they have lost so many friends and family members…were we to try to throw a similar party today, it would probably be too sad, all the missing faces. I’m so glad we did it when we did.
All of this to say, I’m all for gathering the people who matter and celebrating the milestones. My vote is for a party.
This June marks our 40th. Personally I would just like our kids to take us out for dinner, or host us for dinner at one of their homes, or have a potluck at our home. We’ll see what happens.
On the actual anniversary date we will be out of country, on a trip that has been re-scheduled for the third time—hoping third time’s the charm.
For my parents’ 40th, we did dinner with the kids and grandkids. We also made a scrapbook that included photos and a little interview of each grandkid and a piece of their artwork.
For their 50th, they went to Branson and I think we contributed to bed & breakfast, some spending money and help planning.
We did a family & friends party for one of my in-laws significant anniversaries. It was fun. It was at my SIL’s beach house, just a casual bbq, not a surprise. We had a beautiful cake. I think my other sister in law made a photo board. We invited lots of their friends, grandkids were running around. It was a nice day. I don’t want to be a Debbie Downer but…my MIL died last summer and I’m so glad we had that party. I know she loved it and it’s a really nice memory. If you know your parents would like it, I think it’s a wonderful idea.
I’m jealous. I don’t think our children even know the date of our anniversary - let alone which one! (40th coming up this year).
We had a buffet dinner for our parents 40th. We didn’t want to wait for their 50th since sadly so many of their generation (and even ours) never make that one. We invited their home-town friends and relatives. I don’t remember if it were a surprise, but it was well attended, and well-received by all. Some of my favorite photos are from that event, since most of the friends and relatives are no longer with us.
We requested no gifts, but rather some type of note or sentiment shared (privately).
Oh yes, I’m definitely the introvert. Party, no thank you!!!
Any chance in your town or wherever they are there is some type of boat that could be rented for an evening? Cater in some food and have a 40th “cruise” with a few family or friends?
This is our 40th anniversary this year. I do not want a party but I would love a weekend a way with my husband, my children and my grandson. These are the people I want to hang around with. It could be as simple as a cabin in the woods or a hotel with a pool.
Our 40th was summer 2020. The plan was a week long beach trip with the kids and toddler GDs, but Covid put that on hold until this summer. This actually works out better as the girls are 3 and 3.5, so will enjoy the trip more. D called the other day and said they have added a photographer for family photos. While the trip will be fun, having the photo session is a welcome surprise.
Our 36th anniversary is today. We didn’t do much for our 35th and will go out to dinner tomorrow with D got this anniversary.
I wanted us to go on a trip for H’s 80th bday but he doesn’t want that. . I’m not sure I want to travel right now either.