A happy ending (or at least a much improved situation)

Parent Cafe
1

<p>I have posted on this board under other names, which I have needed to abandon. As a result, you won't be able to track the story as it unfolded so I will summarize it here.</p>

<p>My daughter, now a sophomore, ended up at her safety school (although an excellent university with a top 5 program in her area of study) half way across the country. Her first year was a strugge in all ways other than academically, where she excelled. Although she made some good friends and had a wonderful roommate, she suffered "culture shock" and "weather shock" in the midwest. Most important, she often did not feel well, slept a lot and had more than the normal number of freshman "meltdowns."</p>

<p>This year has had its ups and downs, with insomnia continuing as a major issue. She couldn't sleep for nights on end and, when she did sleep, absolutely nothing could wake her. She had a few incidents of hallucinations brought on by sleep deprivation and, sadly, started to see herself as a "freak" (and believed that all her sorority sisters saw her that way as well). The deepness of her sleep was so concerning to us that we had begun looking into a medical companion dog in case of a fire or other emergency.</p>

<p>In February, she had a "meltdown" that seemed to be verging on a complete breakdown. I went to school and spent two weeks with her in an effort to get a better handle on her physical and mental condition. After four various intense days of talking, listening and meeting with appropriate school personnel to drop a 1 unit class, she started to come around. During those four days, she swung between wanting desperately to stay in school to being ready to be hospitalized for some help. Although she seemed extremely fragile, after those four days, she returned to class but stayed with me at the home of a friend of mine rather than returning to sleep at the sorority. When I left, she had only four days (and two midterms) until her Spring break.</p>

<p>Before she came home for break, we set up an appointment for her with the head of the Sleep Disorders Clinic at UCLA. What a godsend! While my daughter was not happy with the doctor initially (she wouldn't do what my daughter wanted, which was to order a sleep study), the doctor clearly "got it." With some input from my daughter's other doctors (including two psychiatrists she had seen at various times) and a lengthy history I provided, the doctor concluded that my daughter had, over time, developed a 72 hour circadian rythym. In other words, her natural cycle had beome a 48 hour day followed by a 24 hour crash. Of course, being forced to get up for class (when she could wake up) further messed with her mood and physicall well-being. At that appointment, the goal was to first find a "band-aid" to let her return to school and complete the semester. The doctor prescribed a low dose (25 mg) of Seroquel, a drug used in larger doses to treat psychosis. She also recommended the use of a "blue light" in the morning to help regulate her rythym. The transformation has been amazing as she can now fall asleep, generally stay asleep and wake up on her own (with a standard alarm). I feel that I have regained the child I had four years ago before school stress started the sleepness nights. She is happy and has gotten involved in many more social and extra-ciricular activities. </p>

<p>A couple weeks ago we had a scare when she seemed to be exhibiting some of the symptoms of a potentially fatal side effect of her medicine. (She called me with her symtoms and I looked up the side effects on the internet. I don't think she had ever looked at the side effects, which may have been a mistake.) Luckily, after emergency blood work, it was determined to be a false alarm. The silver lining in this part of the story is that the incident reinforced for my daughter that she should not be on the drug forever and that she will need to work to find more natural ways to calm herself enough that she can sleep. She may need to stay on the meds for 6 or so more months to get the new pattern established but if she does not address her anxiety issues, the problems will return. I am hopeful that, now that she has been reminded how good it is to be in good health, she will make the efforts to develop and maintain good sleep hygiene, including eating well and exercising.</p>

<p>I know things are still a bit tenous but I am cautiously optimistic. It is a long way from where I was in February when I had serious concerns that she was either severely depressed or bi-polar.</p>

<p>If there is a message in this story, it is to keep looking for answers until one is shown to be right. There are too many things that look the same. Also, I got a lot of grief from parents on this board who thought that my daughter should take a leave from school and that I was not permitting her to do so. I always gave her that option, although, yes, I hoped she wouldn't take it. So much of her identity and self-esteem are dependent on her academic success that I did not want to take that away from her or let her give it up precipitously. </p>

<p>I know her struggles are not over but I think she is on the road to completing, and enjoying, her last two years of college.</p>

2

<p>How wonderful to read your post. I do remember the past link and I felt so badly for you and your D. I work with a young woman who has many of the sleep issues that your D has and they developed while in college, so I was very interested in your experience. Give yourself and your D a hug and pat on the back for hanging in there and getting some answers. I know that the future will have it’s ups and downs but at least you have a framework to work with now.</p>

3

<p>It’s especially heartening to hear of a doctor who quickly and accurately put together the pieces of a difficult puzzle – who knew that it was possible to have a 72 hour Circadian cycle?</p>

4

<p>Wow - thanks so much for sharing this. Information is key in any unknown situation and you’ve given all of us some important information here. Thanks again!</p>

5

<p>I do remember your story and am very glad to see things have improved. Regular sleep/wake patterns are so important to every aspect of a person’s well being. Great job in getting her to follow through with a doctor who cared enough to get to the bottom of the problem, even if all aspects of the treatment weren’t pleasant. Best wishes for her continued good health.</p>

6

<p>Wow. Great news. Here’s hoping things continue to improve.</p>

7

<p>Thank you for sharing. Hoping for the best for your daughter and the family…</p>

8

<p>It’s fantastic that you persevered and found an answer. It’s chilling to think that there are other kids out there with similar problems, who quit school and never return “because they had a breakdown”, but the cause is never found.</p>

9

<p>Thank you for taking the time to share. I’m sure that your experience will be of value to many. Best to you and your daughter.</p>

10

<p>I want to add one other piece of information to my story. Although my daughter displayed fairly typical signs of depression, and depression does run rampant in my husband’s family, I did not believe depression was the main cause. She had generally high self-esteem, was passionate about many things and spoke very optimistically about her future. It was because of these swings that I began to be concerned about bi-polar II. Since things didn’t add up, we had to search deeper for the cause. The doctor who saw her at UCLA is a psychitrist and a neurologist–a powerful combination. </p>

<p>Another story along similar lines is a woman I met whose daughter was a good student but chronically tired in college to the point that it affected her ability to function. For years doctors kept labeling it “depression.” It turned out to be celiac disease, an allergy to wheat.</p>

<p>In other words, if your gut says that a diagnosis is not right, keep looking. (Sadly, if my mother, who died when she was 58, had understood this, she may not have died 10 days after being diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She had had many months of misdiagnosis, including one that resulted in her taking steroids that may have hastened her death.)</p>

11

<p>I have always maintained, moms know best. Good job following your instincts and getting her to the right professionals for treatment. </p>

<p>Your daughter is exceedingly fortunate to have a mother like you, one who would not give up, and trusted her gut. </p>

<p>Thank you for posting your cautionary and happy tale!</p>

12

<p>Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I am so glad that your daughter is doing well and can move forward.
T</p>

13

<p>I remember reading your story and I am so glad a solution appears to have been discovered. How scarey this must have been for you both</p>

14

<p>I remember your story as well and am so glad your daughter has found something that works. I find it very touching that you stayed out there and she came to sleep where you were. You obviously have a strong bond with each other and credit to you for building/maintaining it.</p>

15

<p>What a relief to have found a solution. Signs of depression are scary and even scarier still is not knowing for sure if the diagnosis is correct.</p>

<p>I’m SO glad your D is finding her way back again. And I’m guessing your own insomnia from worrying about her is tapering off as you feel more confident in her progress.</p>

<p>Is she able to be home for the summer? Perhaps that will be a very restorative time for both of you. Best of luck and keep us posted.</p>