Daughter dropping out due to anxiety - Update - positive news

Hello All, Wanted to send an update on my long ago thread added below:

My daughter ending up dropping out of college, retrying the next year and dropping out again. She had issues with her gut which she could not overcome and every doctor wanted her to take SSRI drugs - which she would not do. She told everyone that the root cause was in her gut and not her head.

While we searched for an answer she took a job as a worker at local food to table organic farm. She enjoyed the work and came home tired and satisfied from working outdoors with animals and learning about farming. She read everything she could about gut issues and nutrition and took on a healthy diet high in protein and low in grains which helped her gut pain somewhat. She learned that many believe gut issues are the root of anxiety problems.

She also added to the physical farm work by joining a Crossfit club and enjoyed it so much that she ended up teaching at her local Box (Crossfit term for gym). She visited a local exercise and nutritionist who specialized in nutrition for disease control who helped her fine tune her diet and also recommended an outstanding Gastro doc. This is the part of the story where the camera finally identifies the doctor so you know the long sought after cure is close.

This Gastro doc was different - he assured her that he would find the answer and put a plan on the table. The first step was designed to uncover the most common issues, and subsequent steps cover lesser issues. The doctor was reassuring and told my daughter to keep her chin up - it could take months to figure it out, but he would not stop until the culprit was found. Months into the investigation he ended up curing her problem with a parasite killer. Two days in on the medication and my daughter told me her guts felt good for the first time in three years.

Today she is over her gut issues and anxiety and never took an SSRI. She enrolled in an excellent nursing program at a local University and is three months away from graduating with a BSN - Bachelors of Science in Nursing with a perfect 4.0 GPA. She also works at a large local hospital as a CNA - Certified Nursing Assistant and plans on going on to earn her DNP - Doctor of Nursing Practice. I told her that I was sorry that she had to detour from her original plan and for the pain she endured. She replied that the experience helped make her much stronger both mentally and physically and taught her about nutrition (which has also changed the way our family eats) and that in an odd way, she would not change it due to the positive outcomes.

My hope is that this message provides possible paths for others with similar issues. Thank you all who responded to my original posts - your kind words were comforting at a tough time.

Daughter dropping out due to anxiety
09-09-2012 at 6:44 pm edited September 2012 in Parents Forum
My daughter transferred to a dream college 500 miles from home for her final two years of a BSN in nursing.

She is a great child, very good grades, athletic, friendly, and kind. She has never displayed any odd or abnormal behavior. We were surprised when she called the first day at college and said she had abnormal worries. Since then, she calls in tears every day saying she can’t handle sitting in class and has to get up and leave half way through. My daughter cried very rarely before college, in fact, I only saw her cry 2x in high school. She says the anxiety started when she became embarrassed about loud stomach noises during class. The embarrassment grew and turned into fear and then full blown anxiety. She realizes that its crazy but she says it is now out of control. She says its so bad now that she needs to come home so we can help fix the problem. I asked her if she thought about hurting herself and she said she would never do such a thing.

I feel terrible for her and want to help. She does not smoke, drink, use drugs or caffeine. She does not like to take any medicine. She only took advil after a knee surgery and only for two days. I set up meetings with the school counselor who then suggested seeing the school psych. The problem is the first available appointment is in three weeks. I’ve called many docs and everyone is full for weeks. I’ve set up an appointment with the Gastro doc but again, 4 weeks out.

I’ve asked her to fight it by staying in class. Each fully attended class will help diminish the fear just a little, but each skipped class will let it grow. I told her to eat 3x a day and take a multi-vitamin. Told her to exercise for 90 minutes every day, to meditate and pray. Nothing seems to help and she is getting worse. She said she refuses to take any medications.

Life does not present many great opportunities so its important to take advantage of the few that you get. Getting into this top notch school is the first step toward her plan for a masters degree in nursing. I am afraid that she will regret leaving this school and the issue now will blow up into a larger one once she realizes what she gave up. I want her to work on getting rid of the anxiety while still attending school. She says its too bad now and wants to come home.

Has anyone else had this type of issue with their child? What did you do and what helped?

Thank you in advance for your help.

Thank you for the update. I am glad it is going better.

There are many paths in the this world to take. We all must find our own.

Thanks for the very happy update. While I’m sorry your D had to go through those terrible issues, I’m glad that she finally found the right doctor and that she is back on her chosen path in her life. Kudos to your D and you for handing a tough situation by moving forward with dignity, grace, and positivity. I imagine that you D’s difficult experience will lead her to become an wonderful, empathetic, and caring nurse.

@Bolete Thanks so much for sharing your story! What a journey it was…and I love the happy ending. My daughter was sick with respiratory issues for 2 years before we found the culprit…an allergy to wheat and dairy. Isn’t it amazing how when the right cure is found, how quickly symptoms disappear? Hopefully, your story will help others look outside the box for cures instead of automatically taking medications that have nothing to do with finding the underlying cause and treating it. Doctors had my daughter on antibiotics and an inhaler which did nothing to fix the problem. How wonderful was it that you found a doctor who was willing to look beyond the traditional and had the fortitude to not give up. I found a doctor who was well versed in nutrition and alternative healing. There are more and more practitioners like these, so it pays to keep researching.

I applaud your daughter’s perseverance and great attitude. I’m sure she will make an excellent nurse. :slight_smile:

So glad to hear the positive update! I’m glad your daughter got the answer she needed and was able to reset her life. I Every time I hear a story like this, I’m taken back to a time when my daughter’s pediatrician insisted she was depressed and handed me an Rx for Zoloft that I told her I absolutely wouldn’t fill. I had to fight to get her iron tested, and sure enough, the problem was anemia. Doc went so far as to list depression as the dx in her chart! (We switched peds right after.) I’ll never understand why docs insist everything can be cured with SSRIs, when so many patients actually have an underlying physical issue that needs to be solved.

iSo glad to read this story. Thank you! We have dealt with a similar situation on several medical fronts and I would say that out of 10 docs, there might be one who sticks with you like this and doesn’t go the psych. route. Docs go the psych. route mainly when they cannot find a cause or diagnosis, and instead of saying “I don’t know” they say “You need meds.”

That said, and your daughter knows this, gut issues affect the mind and mood. In fact there is a book about the gut entitled “The Second Brain.” One function of the gut is to produce a lot of the serotonin in the body, so if someone has long term gut issues, replacing the serotonin is not a bad idea. But NOT when docs are missing the cause and just throwing Zoloft out there to do something rather than nothing. And Zoloft can cause a lot of nausea.

Many of us have found that the time “out”, off the conveyor belt so to speak, is in the long run tremendously helpful, and that our kids gain strength. So so glad that was the experience of your daughter- and you.

That is so wonderful to hear. Best of luck to your D!

Thank you for sharing this. Congratulations and best of luck to her!

Congratulations to your daughter, and thank you for sharing. Kudos to her for listening to her body and for being persistent.

My son also dropped out, for different reasons, took time off, and is getting ready to head back to a four year school after completing community college. I can now say I am glad he dropped off the “conveyor belt.”

So happy for your daughter!

This is a great post to reinforce the “something’s wrong and it’s not in my head” scenario.
Sometimes it’s just that ONE thing that hasn’t been pinpointed yet.

In case anyone wants to try it…and it’s fairly simple to do as a family.
D did the Whole 30 diet.(and got her roommates to get on board!)
It’s totally free on the internet but the books and recipe books make it easier to follow.

In this “diet” (not meant for weight loss but for health) you eliminate everything that is a possible allergen or food trigger. And there are many triggers --dairy, gluten, nuts, seafood, caffeine, alcohol etc
. It’s not easy to make it through 30 days because all your favorites are sure to be on a “forbidden list” (pasta, pizza, beer, bread) but it’s only 30 days.
You can’t cheat–then you have to start over. Think “survivor” food-style but nobody is starving–just eating healthy.
(A real win-win)

After 30 days of avoiding all the food triggers (with no cheating) you add them back into your diet one at a time to try and pinpoint what (if any) foods cause a reaction in you.

Worth a try. It works!

Great story! She will probably be an excellent and sympathetic nurse after going through all that.

I am so glad to have stumbled across this thread. It makes me happy to read of a positive outcome.

Well I could just cry :slight_smile: Well done, both you and your daughter!!!

I am happy for you and your D but sad that this type of stuff still goes on. When I was a college freshman 40 years or so ago, I was always so tired and achy. I essentially wound up missing almost a full year of school because I just could not get up in the morning and go to class. The doctor told me I was anxious and depressed and wanted me to take meds. He also tried to convince me that it was all in my head. I refused. Finally, the pain got so unbearable that I told my bf I was going to kill myself. He took me to the ER. I was SO lucky - the attending was a rheumatologist who immediately determined that I was in the throes of an acute attack of rheumatoid arthritis. He got me into a clinic (no health insurance) where I got proper treatment and was able to function again.

I am another one who believes that other causes should be explored and ruled out before going with meds for anxiety, etc. While I firmly believe as well that the psychotropic meds have their place in the pantheon of care and that there are certain conditions for which they are absolutely necessary, I also think that they are prescribed too often as a treatment of first course and not last recourse, particularly to young women.

OP - congrats to your D. It sounds as if she will be a first class empathetic caregiver.

Total believer in the gut thing. Over the years I kept having terrible pain there and the episodes were increasing in frequency. My D18 was getting that way, only much younger. We thought about allergies, anxiety, etc. Finally, around six months ago, we decided to start taking lactose pills whenever we ate dairy products. Problem solved!

DW started having terrible arthritis attacks towards the end of college. It started in the sacroiliac joints, then toes, wrists, fingers, all the way to iritis. Really debilitating. Prednisone became our friend. It ended when DW became PG with our daughter 17 years ago.

@Bolete I feel so much for your daughter-what a rough, rough journey it’s been for her. How does the gastroenterologist think she contracted the parasite? Travel? Sushi? I’m so glad she was able to get a diagnosis and recover.

I’m so glad things turned out well for your daughter.
I’m just adding here for people who may read this. When my son was about 7, he told the doctor he felt like he had string in his throat. The doc suggested I take him to a psychologist. Eventually we figured out he had allergies… which can feel like you have string in your throat, from the perspective of a 7 year old.
A friend’s daughter was having symptoms that I can’t remember right now. her pediatrician suggested a psych dr. Turns out she had Lyme disease. My friend had to pay something like $1500 out of pocket to get her tested, and it was an uphill battle to get it taken care of. She wound up having to do part of her senior year of HS from home, and had a pick line for awhile. She’s now 22 and healthy, and has graduated from college.

Did she have her grades expunged? My daughters story is similar but different, in that she attended 2 semesters and not until near the end of the second one, we realized she never attended classes beyond the first 2-3 weeks. It was too late to withdraw and not until the end of second semester did we get the whole pic- she was outgoing, a cheerleader , above avr grades although she had to work at it . Until we brought her home, then we figured out that she was depressed and anxious and just couldn’t go to class.
She and I filed for expungement of her grades due to the medical issues untreated that lead the failures. I provided medical and psych Evals. Then came the crickets, I have called everyone and no one seems to know the decision and it was to have been made dec 2016?
Anyone k ow of suggestions? I even emailed the president who said he was going to forward it to Another and still no response. HELP!!