What is the atmosphere at Exeter like? Is it so crazily academically competitive that there’s not much time for anything else? I feel I would be able to thrive at a rigorous school, but I want more out of my boarding experience than just sitting in a dorm and studying for four years. To thrive academically at Exeter, would I have to make sacrifices in my sports, arts, and ECs?
Exeter, like any school, is what you make of it. Is it academically challenging? Yes. Can you still find time to do things you enjoy? Yes. You will just need to budget your time wisely. Use some of your free time during the day to do homework if you need to. Try to look ahead and do some on the weekends. The demands of certain activities are also more than others. It’s impossible to be a varsity athlete, the lead in the play, the president of student counsel and be on the math team. However, you can have some things that demand your time, and others that are just for fun.
You will have adequate time to pursue your interests, but you will be expected to perform at a higher level in academics. This does not necessarily mean more time, but probably does, but it definitely that the time spent must be of a higher quality.
Sports are typical prep school level. ECs are largely up to you regarding quality & quantity of time spent.
Some do say at Exeter there are 3 S’s
Studying
Socializing
Sleeping
But you can only choose 2 lol!!
Substitute almost any BS in the above sentence, and the sentence still applies. Indeed, in 4 years time, substitute a top 20 college in the sentence, and it is still a valid sentence. 
I’m willing to bet most choose the first two of the three
There is very little socializing at Exeter: In our observation it is studying and sleep-deprivation. No you wont have time to pursue other interests: it will be prioritization. Other interests come at the expense of school work. Many Exeter students do not play sports. Unlike many other schools it is not required. However gym as a component of your schedule is required. Many students just take gym. Athletics at Exeter are weak and have gotten weaker over the years–there are no D1 football players at Exeter. Agree with @momof3swimmers. You pick what is most important to you and try to make it work.
I guess that it depends upon the student. Certainly there are students who push themselves to be among the best of the best academically–and that can led to debilitating stress. But it is also normal to work harder & to specialize in high school than in middle school.
Boarding school creates time for many since the hours spent commuting during a normal school week in a major city are now freed up for school activities–as is time from preparing meals for those kids who made their own breakfast or dinner while at home.
Again, you will have adequate time if you prioritize & act rationally.
Is it so crazily academically competitive that there’s not much time for anything else?
Personally, I don’t feel like it’s that crazily academically competitive as many people make it out to be. Academics are definitely more demanding than other schools, but it’s not to the point that it eats up your life. There’s actually a lot time to hang out with friends on weekends and after school hours on weekdays.
To thrive academically at Exeter, would I have to make sacrifices in my sports, arts, and ECs?
Nope! Exonians are super involved in all extra curriculars - it’s extremely rare to find someone who isn’t involved in clubs. Sports are also incorporated into daily school life, since they have scheduled blocks of time put aside for them. Exeter doesn’t force sacrifices to be made, it’s more of a place to discover new hobbies and pursue your passions even more. Coming to Exeter, I haven’t sacrificed any of the ECs I used to do, and probably have doubled the amount that I’m involved in.
@jkookie do you play a sport?
@jkookie Really helpful to hear from someone at Exeter, thanks for your input!
@emro12 this is not what you will hear from the majority of students. further sports are not part of the school day. they are after classes and then on wednesdays and weekends. If you dont play a sport, then yes you have more time for other clubs and activities
@Center Yes, I did track the entirety of winter term. Sports practices (which take up the majority of your time with the team) are built into the day, but there are weekend practices and games/meets that you’ll have to make time for. Personally, my schedule is quite tight, but I still have free time to hang out with friends all throughout the week 
@emro12 my 4 kids have all played sports and still have found time for social life and EC’s. It is all about time management.
I thought Exeter was moving to a new schedule where athletics would be at the end of the school day. One of the biggest detractors in my daughter deciding not to attend Exeter was that she would have to go to class after practice. I thought that was changing next year though.
I find it very hard to believe there is no time for anything else. Perhaps there are some kids who really don’t belong there? Just like the kids who studied for a year and the SSAT scores are still not stellar, not all are meant to be scholars. I think putting a kid in with top 5% kids who isn’t academically a super star is wrong. Just my opinion. Like sending your kid to MIT by having them have a math coach for five years to get a top score. Why would you do that to someone?
There are many kids who balance top academics, sports, music and all the rest. They don’t waste time but they are also kids who get things quickl in school. Maybe some are in over their heads but I would imagine many others manage to do it all ( with late nights and hard work). This is the same at the Ivies. Guess it depends on the kid. From what I have heard from parents, kids can do it all but end up going to sleep pretty late.
Haha. I enjoyed reading your responses. I am a current student at Exeter, and I would like to fill you in.
So, the whole thing about “getting no sleep” depends on the person. I usually get 7-9 hours of sleep each night. In fact, one of my dorm mates goes to bed at 10:15 every single night. And, there are those in my dorm who goes to bed at 4 AM or 2 AM. It depends on how well you manage your time.
About socializing, it is really prevalent, its just how you go about it. I suggest that you join clubs, school parties, etc. It is a wonderful service.
And the common myth about the intensity of the students. Look, I only know 2 kids, out of like dozens, who are like that. But, I know students like that in my old school as well. I find that 99% of the students HELP people. Whether it be peer tutoring, in-class help, or hosting study sessions for tests, students will help you. I’ll say most students that I have met are humble and generous. I remember how weird it was when I would pass kids on campus, and they would say hello, and ask about my day. I came from a place where you would keep your head down and ignore everyone.
I do think that Exeter needs to improve on the school spirit. Especially on Exeter/ Andover, I just feel like that is a flaw that needs to be worked on…
I know someone who is the head of 4 major clubs, has excellent GPA, and has a wonderful social life. It can be done. It just depends on you.
Food… it’s a hit or miss. I would say it is significantly better than where I come from, but there are days in which I would pass the meals. Having two dining halls, each having different options is nice.
If you have anymore questions, reach out to me, and I will surely help!
@Happytimes2001 the schools let in lots of kids for reasons besides academics: look at their college matriculations. There are lots of kids at Exeter that cannot do it all. There are some that can. There are also some who have certain priorities: they choose to do nothing but study or to take the time to do other things. Again, a majority of the school, perhaps 60% or more, are there as recruits for sports, they are URM or from the right states and so on. They are not all the top students from their previous school. This is pertinent because PEA and any school can be that much more challenging for you if you are coming in spending 25 hours a week on a sport or you weren’t a 4.0 er to begin with. Further when you enter makes a huge difference: preps have first term pass/fail. Many preps (roughly 30%) are repeats so that has a built in advantage; likewise a significant % of 10th grade is repeat as is 11th. Coming into a school like PEA as a repeat makes it much more manageable.