A rant

Parents Forum
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<p>Tako.</p>

<p>Unless you get great $ from scholarships, it doesn't make sense to go to a small LAC and pay the cost, if your ultimate goal is to teach English. The cost/benefit doesn't make sense when there are great public colleges and universities in California that have excellent programs for Education/English majors. If you really truley want to teach, you may need to rethink going out of state and paying the out of state or private costs. It just doesn't make sense.</p>

<p>By the way, the UC's are big enough that you may not run into people you know very often. Same is true for most of the CSU's</p>

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<p>Absolutely true! That was my experience at a large college. I rarely came upon a high school classmate, especially if we had different majors.</p>

<p>Also, blucroo makes a great point about the $$ aspect of college/future career plans. A large amount of undergrad debt could really hamper your life choices once you graduate.</p>

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<p>We don't know that a LAC would necessarily entail debt for Tako, whose parents apparently are well off financially and are not threatening to withhold payment. For my kids, the UC's were a financial safety as well -- but perhaps Tako's parents will easily be able to pay the cost for attendance at colleges where Tako is likely to be admitted, once they get over the prestige hurdle. </p>

<p>To Tako: as a writer, you might seriously look at Chicago, where my daughter was accepted despite crummy test scores. The strong reputation of the Chicago econ department might keep your parents happy.</p>

<p>And to bluecroo: please keep in mind that just because Tako currently might want to teach high school English does not mean that the education should be limited by that goal -- part of the college experience involves expanding horizons. The kid who is thinking of teaching high school English may eventually end up as a professor teaching college English... or (far more likely), end up with a career that has nothing whatsoever to do with teaching English. I agree with you that the doors are as wide open at UC's as any private colleges, but I don't agree that the private college education is wasted on those who start out with moderate career aspirations. Keep in mind that, in life, it is often good to have a fairly easily, attainable, fall-back career qualification -- but that doesn't mean one has to stop there.</p>

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<p>Well obviously I am hoping to get some merit scholarships. If worst comes to worst, though, I will attend a state university (not that it's a bad thing!)</p>

<p>I am, actually, highly interested in UChicago :)</p>

<p>And yes, I'm very open to other career possibilities right now. Journalism is another field that I may explore, and honestly, while I do not have a particularly penchant towards science/math right now, who knows? I think I will simply have to wait and see, and keep my options open.</p>

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<p>I am convinced that a post with "rant" in the title is merely a euphanism for an overly long and whiney post.</p>

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<p>But of course! What else would it be?</p>

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<p>I guess you are the first child going to college in your family, aren't you? As an Asian mother as well, I can understand your parents, but hope they can understand and support you as you are. I think you are a very thoughtful and smart young man, and know where you are.</p>

<p>My son just finished this process and is going to California in the fall. My son appreciates us for not being "typical Asian parents", but I confess that I had to refrain myself from wanting to direct him and to "learn" to give him freedom to choose his activities. There is one thing I didn't give up in his activities, but that was mainly because I thought he really has a talent and didn't want him to quit it. You know what? He actually appreciates it now for me to persuade him to continue. Other than that, he chose most of his activities and summer programs on his own. At times, I thought that those wouldn't help his college applications since they are not "typical" summer stuffs for those who are aiming for top schools, but I let him do those since I knew he would enjoy, and now I really think it worked out both for himself and also for his college applications. I should say that he made things that way including some of those experiences in college application essays. (I am sharing this in case you like to share some other Asian parents' examples with your parents and also to let you know that parents sometimes know their children better than themselves.)</p>

<p>When my son applied for colleges, we agreed that he would be happy at any of those schools he selected, but sure there are schools that I wouldn't be that happy to pay for. Later he said, if he had final two choices between a LAC in CA and one Ivy school in NJ (:-)), then he would have chosen the LAC in CA, and I felt relieved for us not to go through that situation. I knew that I wouldn't be happy with his choice for the LAC in CA! It is not because of Ivy vs. non-Ivy case, but it would have been hard to accept my son's position that he would fit better in that LAC turning down a wonderful education opportunity at the other Ivy school that "we" liked a lot. </p>

<p>One thing you should remember is that your parents love you more than any one else, but you would need to communicate with them what would make you happy and would be a best path for you. To have it accomplished, show them that you are "thinking" about your future, "working" hard, and "appreciate" their support. Am I asking too much if I suggest you to have a little more open mind to understand your parents? My son used to say "I know everything" (although it could be just his expression), but we could see that he is still in the process of maturing and in need of advice and guidance. The senior year has been the period when my son grew most and also I learn a lot about my son, although it has been very stressful at times.</p>

<p>For those attitudes or comments of your parents that you don't agree with, try to let them go. It will be hard to change them (until they go through for themselves), and so it would be easier for you to learn how to deal with them. Well, parents grow as well, although you may feel unfortunate that you children are paying for their growth. Also remember that it is not just Asian parents’ thing although there might be more in Asian parents groups. According to my son, one of his friends has white parents who are "more Asian" than us :-)</p>

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<p>Hi Tako,
You seem like the U of Chicago type. My son applied there LY, was accepted but decided to go to USC for various reasons, including the $00 in financial aid offered by Chicago. You should know that Chicago has a reputation for being very stingy with financial aid $$, compared to many other colleges, so don't get your heart set on Chicago unless your parent are willing to pay.</p>

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<p>calmom: I totally agree about not limiting oneself. However, I hope Tako will stick to his guns and not let his parents dictate his future. My parents were much like Tako's and I would not let them dictate my choice of majors/colleges, etc. Thankfully the UC system was there for me.</p>