A Tale of Ambitions

Prep School Admissions
1

<p>My life's goal has always been to go to Harvard. My family has traversed the world and overcome countless difficulties over the years for their children to be able to have the opportunities they were unable to have. I have been honed and trained and disciplined in all the countries we have lived in, to this end, and somewhere along the way I acquired the true love of learning. And yet, recently, at my frustrations with the educational bureaucracy of the American public school district I am currently in and my single-minded ambition to get out of it, I have lost that joy. I am stressed and unhappy, and I realized that everything I do pertains with getting to Harvard- and doing whatever I have to do to get there.</p>

<p>I am applying to Deerfield, Exeter, Andover, and Choate, and I will go if I get accepted with a full scholarship. Originally, I started applying to them because I wanted to be able to learn- to learn, without restrictions and limits, like I had always dreamed of. But recently, amidst all my planning to get in, I have been pushed to the breaking point and realized something. </p>

<p>What if it doesn't ever stop? What if I do get in, after coercing myself to run for election, win championships, so it can look good on my Exeter app- but my ambition will always force me to keep on going? What will happen if I'm never content?... What if it all just starts with Harvard?</p>

2

<p>I admire your ambition but am concerned that as a teenager you think your life’s success/happiness rests entirely on going to Harvard. </p>

<p>Can you articulate objectively WHY it has to be Harvard, vs. some other good school? If you don’t get into Harvard, then what? </p>

<p>If you always set such narrow definitions for success, you face a high likelihood of being disappointed in life.</p>

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<p>Well, best of luck with that . . . but most schools (Exeter included) are looking for students who actually have a passion for something, and have have pursued that particular activity because they enjoy it, not just because it looks good on an application. And the same is true, probably even more so, when you’re applying to college.</p>

<p>You want to live the life of your dreams? Find the activities you enjoy and have a talent for, and pursue them. A young person who is active and happy with his/her life is a much more attractive applicant than an obsessive workaholic!</p>

4

<p>@Dodgersmom–it’d be nice to think that, but despite advances in technology, admissions officers still can’t read minds. And there’s nothing wrong with that.</p>

<p>I think it’s unfair of adults to require students to collect impressive accomplishments, then turn around and criticize those same students for being ambitious. The prep school and college admissions processes are very similar–we adults should not be looking to salve our consciences about the high-pressure competitiveness of the process by demanding that only the “good, pure, passionate” students deserve admission. If students are doing activities because they look good on an application, that is because they do look good on an application. </p>

<p>I don’t blame the students who play the game, because they have correctly diagnosed the nature of the college rat race. And, ah, it’s all very well and good to claim the schools look for “passion,” but I’ll bet that the students who are obsessed with college admissions have read lots of books and articles on college admissions, and could cite chapter and verse on how to display passion. In addition, a student who has a true passion for Geology, for example, may not have stellar grades in French. That doesn’t increase the odds at Harvard. “True passions” don’t increase the odds of admission. It’s a popular line cited by admissions officers, I know, but there is no test for true passion. </p>

<p>@CherryRose, what are your plans for post-Harvard life? What do you want to do AT Harvard? Why Harvard, not Pomona, CalTech, or the University of Chicago? You don’t have to answer these questions online. Just think about them.</p>

<p>If you have the insight to worry about this before high school, I think you’ll be fine, no matter which high school and college you attend. It could be that you are the type who always sets big goals, and finds a new big goal when needed. It could be that you thrive on pressure. Or, it could be that you’ll be happier if you set yourself a range of acceptable outcomes. Where do you want to be when you’re 30? Teaching? Researching in a lab? Making deals for a large international company in Sao Paulo? Helping others? Inventing? Writing screenplays? Decide what you want to do, and think of several ways to attain your goals. If you’re ~14 right now, you’ll have achieved (or not achieved ) your college goal in 4 years. What then? Really, only you know which answer’s right for you.</p>

5

<p>Ummm- I’m with dodgersmom. Schools really are looking for students passionate about something. So are Adcoms. It’s what helps separate the pile.</p>

<p>I’ve interviewed too many students who “became” figments of what they thought Exeter, or MIT, or any other college wanted, only to be left on the outside looking in when we discovered a student with maybe only a single EC but with depth and enthusiasm. My husband gets really irritated when he’s interviewing students who try to “impress” him and then can’t speak in depth on the subject.</p>

<p>I’ve seen too many students “groomed” based on what the adults around them thought would look good - and often restricted from trying new things - and hence, don’t really have anything to offer.</p>

<p>Students keep framing this argument in terms of what they can get from the school. But these days - with so many applicants - the Adcoms are thinking about what those students will bring with them to the school and add to the student body.</p>

<p>Harvard will be the same way. If “Harvard” is the goal - that is admirable, but likely as hard as getting into a prep school.</p>

<p>The OP should find things that interest him or her, stop thinking about how they “traversed the world” and figure out who they are as a person - warts and all. That person will be memorable when the Adcoms are weeding out. A laundry list of “things” will not.</p>

6

<p>I was hoping you’d join the discussion, Exie! I agree the OP should do some soul searching. There are many kids being groomed by parents. They won’t all reach the brass ring. </p>

<p>On the other hand, the “Tiger Mother” book comes to mind. Should the daughter have won admission to Harvard and Yale? Should she have been turned down by those schools, because her mother was so…Tiger-motherly? Or is it possible for a child to be a passionate, interesting, person, even if her mother’s trying to run her life?</p>

<p>By the way–I think the Hernandez book has done a huge amount of damage to American childhoods. I don’t think it’s healthy to be worrying about college admissions when a kid’s in elementary school.</p>

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<p>I don’t get it. Why would any kid hitch his future to one and only one school, especially one with a 6% acceptance rate? Such a plan is a recipe for failure. And even if that kid got into Harvard, what then? Heck, I graduated from Harvard, as did two of my brothers. Nice. Sounds good. Such info may impress some folks for about one second or so. But attending Harvard sure didn’t exempt any of us from struggling to stay afloat and sweating about the future just about every day of our lives. Attending Haravrd doesn’t exempt anyone from the trials and toils of the human condition. In fact, it may make them worse because you will always fear that you never lived up to everything a Harvard man/woman should supposedly be.</p>

<p>Work hard. Do your best. And then love your fate, whatever it may be.</p>

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<p>Recently I’ve just felt like everything was going out of control… I’ve tried to think about what really matters. The problem is that this mindset to succeed- this pursuit of what is perceived as excellence- goes so deep. If the focus of my life, what I’ve lived for, is meaningless, then I don’t know what I have left.</p>

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<p>Not gonna lie, I thought this was a fake post at first.</p>

<p>+1 on what Toombs61 said. Except for Harvard alum part. Go Quakers!</p>

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<p>@cherryrose, perhaps you should share these thoughts with a professional and not on a public board with strangers.</p>

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<p>@muf123: Maybe I don’t have access to a professional. Maybe I’m only sharing these thoughts to a public board of strangers because I wanted them to be as objective as they can get. I don’t know.
I do know, however, that because the agenda of my pursuit of happiness will never quite align with that of my pursuit of excellence, I will continue to work towards what I perceive as excellence. Maybe then the other will finally prevail. For now, that is the only way I know out.</p>

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<p>Cherryrose, I think the pursuit of excellence is not a bad thing. After all, “passion” would never show through if one were pursuing mediocrity. I always tell my children, you can spend 60 minutes of a day trying to do the best at whatever you decide to do or spend the same 60 minutes going through the motions. Either way, it’s 60 minutes from your day so why not try your best? I think the distinction is, figure out what you have been doing that you are genuinely interested in doing more of. If none of your activities to date have interested you enough to pursue in greater depth then think of what you have always wanted to do and try that. What makes you smile or feel happy when you are doing it? Those are the things you should pursue. Then apply your pursuit of excellence to the endeavor and I think you will find a great deal of satisfaction and sense of personal achievement. In short, the pursuit of excellence and happiness are not mutually exclusive.</p>