<p>Ok, so I'm a weird guy. On one side, not to sound pretentious and arrogant, but I'm smart. I pick up on things very quickly, and most things I do with ease. I also tend to over exert myself and become a perfectionist of things, saying that not reaching perfection is failure.</p>
<p>People at my school saw this side frequently. My entire 9th grade year, they saw this arrogant side, and they HATED it. Quite honestly, I can't blame them, because I was out of control. That summer, I did a lot of self-reflection, and realized that I had a problem. I worked on it consistently, saying I had to improve.</p>
<p>This year was better, I was a lot nicer. I was a lot more humble as well. I still remained quiet and nervous of social interaction, but I slowly proceeded out of my shell. Eventually, I became more of a people person, and could actually hold discussion.</p>
<p>Now comes the problem. I'm an extremely shy person, and an extremely sensitive one. I hate errors, and I hate mistakes. Most people tell me that if I just relaxed and chilled more often, people would see that I'm actually a nice guy(These are people whose minds I have changed). I'm afraid of coming out of my shell, and being more social. I'm also afraid of whether my academics and my skills in my work will diminish, and how I'll be able to keep up with challenging summer work. There are 2 sides of me. One is a smart, yet arrogant perfectionist, who shirks social interaction for work and education. The other side is a laid-back, chill person, who is nice.</p>
<p>tl;dr: I have a dilemma between continuing with my strong academic pursuit, or being a laid back person who can enjoy life.</p>
<p>Join the two positive attributes from each side.</p>
<p>Just because you take academics seriously doesn’t mean you can’t be the laid-back nice person.</p>
<p>Also, you mentioned being extremely shy. That may also be where you’re having troubles socially. A lot of people will misread shy as aloof and then aloof as jerk.</p>
<p>I used to be a perfectionist as well …along with anxiety issues :/</p>
<p>Just try to be nicer and friendly…it always works Being arrogant is not cool…at all. Try to become more humble…even though I know you’re trying really hard :)</p>
<p>Also, don’t take notice/care what other people think of you.</p>
<p>If you do end up being too nice…make sure that you don’t take **** from anyone.</p>
<p>Try breaking out of your shell…start talking to more people…</p>
<p>Just try being laidback. If you’re gonna be uptight you’re not going to be any fun to hang around. I don’t see why you can still be very academically motivated…and humble? It should be easy :)</p>
<p>I used to be somewhat like that, and I can understand where you’re coming from</p>
<p>To overcome my shyness, I just started talking a lot in class - both in answering questions and in general. I don’t know if this is possible in most high schools, but I fouund it pretty easy, especially if there are inside jokes at your disposal. This also means being slightly less perfectionist (or anal about it). For example, my accent in Spanish is really awful if I’m not reading from a script so I can think about my accent, so that became kind of a joke.</p>
<p>Also, being funny totally helps. I know this one kid who is really really shy, but is totally hilarious, and he’s fairly popular as a result.</p>
<p>I am the same way MIThopeful16…lol I am also A class of 2016 MIT hopeful. I totally get what you mean about people thinking you are arrogant, when really you’re just smart. People get very intimidated I think, and when you mix that with being a hardworker (perfectionist) I think a lot of people can’t stand this. It is very unfortunate because social success is important, I could see depression coming on for people who have this problem. I am shy too, and at least for me, it makes it hard to make/interact with friends. I find that a lot of times, people “put up” with me (for lack of a better term) so that I will help them with school. Which really sucks for social development. Hopefully things will look up for you. Maybe it will take a few years when you are in college and where you can find people who will understand you and not be intimidated by your ablilities.</p>
<p>I’ve had a similar problem, so I can relate. My best advice is this:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Still try hard in academics and work. After all, you’re only in high school. You’ve got two years left, so you might as well continue your academic excellence. Once you’re in college you’ll find more people like you and you won’t have to worry about choosing between your two sides. I know that might seem hard to believe, but trust me, it’s true. My brother was a somewhat jerky smart guy who, once he entered college, found the perfect group of friends (which is hard to find in highschool when most students are superficial).</p></li>
<li><p>Surround yourself with other smart people. This one is self explanatory: you’ll be able to relate to people better if they’re on the same intellectual level as you.</p></li>
<li><p>Try talking to a few new people. It doesn’t have to be a long conversation, it can just be a small comment. But PLEASE keep it light (nothing super serious) and MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A SMILE ON YOUR FACE. A smile helps a lot!</p></li>
<li><p>Don’t talk about school and work!!! This one is important. When you’re talking casually to a group of people that you aren’t super good friends with, try to avoid the topic of school. This is where your arrogance will be most likely to show. Don’t mention how well you did on the SAT or how high your precalc grade is. That just will make the conversation awkward and the people you are conversing with might feel inferior (and you don’t want to make people feel inferior… that’s a quick way to lose friends). If the other people mention schoolwork, don’t respond with things like:</p></li>
<li><p>“I thought the literature test was ridiculously easy. Anyone who got below a A- on that has no common sense!”</p></li>
<li><p>“I got a 105% on the last physics test. How’d you do?”</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Instead respond with things like:
“I didn’t think the literature test was bad. I think I might have done well on it.”
“I’m happy with my physics test grade.” [and if they ask you what you got just say you did really well on it, no need to give exact number unless they really push you to answer. No one likes a person who brags about grades]</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Don’t always correct people. It’s okay if you occasionally correct something that someone said, especially if it needs to be corrected for the sake of other (like someone giving the wrong time). Please don’t constantly correct people, that will drive people crazy.</p></li>
<li><p>Ask questions or make jokes! You can’t expect the other people to ask all the questions, you need to ask some questions yourself to keep the conversation going. Also, jokes always make people more friendly. If they see that you have a sense of humor, they’re more likely to talk to you. Please don’t make a joke that only a couple of people will understand. Try to make sure the joke fits the people you’re talking to (don’t tell a computer science joke to a group of goths).</p></li>
</ol>
<p>I think that’s all! I don’t know if any of this helps you or not, but I hope it does. Just try to be more humble. Best of luck!</p>
<p>I also worry if I become more “social”, if my school work will diminish…this comes down to time managment. Over some self reflection, I have discovered that my academics have stayed relativly the same even with increased social interaction, but it does take some work and getting used to. Also this relates to the work hard play hard MIT mentality. Academics alone with not get you into MIT or any top notch school. Go out and make a sincere effort to make some good friends and join some clubs or something. Having good social skill is as important as good grades/test scores/etc. How else would one successfully go though life, becasue it most definatly is not all in the classroom.</p>
<p>lol, I thought I was the only one who does that. But hey if you don’t buy them, you have to get them at the library, and the librarians get mad when you write on them. lol.</p>
<p>well my advice to you is to do what makes you happy, whether that be hanging out with people, studying, or just chilling in your room</p>
<p>if you like people, be social. if you like computers, do that. if you like to study - and by that i mean you REALLY like it, you’re not just doing it out of guilt or obligation - then by all means, do that all day. (but make sure you’ve seen what the rest of the world has to offer before committing to one path.)</p>
<p>i know i’m at my best academically when i’m happy. i also tend to procrastinate less when i have time to relax. when i was in high school i was an academic masochist and by the time i got to my college of choice i was worn out and had to take a year on medical leave. don’t be like me.</p>
<p>Yeah, but they’re not hating. I was legitimately a jerk to a lot of people. I flaunted around my intelligence like I was the ****, when truly I wasn’t. I feel horrible for that, and I’ve tried to change it. But now I feel conflicted as two completely opposite sides of me want to be dominant.</p>
Being arrogant is not cool…at all. Try to become more humble…even though I know you’re trying really hard :)</p>