<p>So I'm going to be a high school in a few weeks, and I felt the need to ask:
How can I be more modest?</p>
<p>I haven't even done anything that worthy of attention or anything, but I always notice myself being extremely arrogant. I always think back to middle school when I used to brag about how much I studied, how great I was at stuff, etc. and it's making me regret saying that stuff. Besides, there was a lot of things that my friends did better than me, and I was really embarrassed. I tried apologizing to anyone who probably felt annoyed at me. I think this is a big reason why I don't have as many friends.</p>
<p>I'm probably going to regret this now, but it doesn't matter anymore. I just want to be less arrogant.</p>
<p>Well first off, it’s a good thing that you’re aware of it. That’s a major step. To be modest, limit your adjectives when you’re talking about yourself. Try to steer the conversation to the other person, good luck!</p>
<p>Indeed, as Purpledino said (great name btw), the fact that you admitted it already makes you awesome in my book.</p>
<p>I’d say definitely limit how you talk about yourself, or even better, don’t talk about yourself at all. Only talk about yourself when someone asks you directly. If you want to offer advice to someone based off of your past experience (for example, studying), instead of saying “well, what <em>I</em> do is the XYZ way, which is the best way” (or even worse, “I DON’T NEED TO STUDY”) say something like, “perhaps you could try XYZ? i’ve tried it and it seems to be working well.” But again, only if it’s asked for. </p>
<p>In general, the best way to be modest is take the words you’re saying and make them sound much politer.</p>
<p>@Purpledino: Thank you! Great advice, I will definitely follow it!</p>
<p>@Elleya: Haha thank you! I really just don’t want to show a bad impression. Even though avoiding to talk about myself will be hard, I will definitely work on that. Once again, thank you so much! Your advice was just as great as Purpledino’s.</p>
<p>You remind me of how I was in middle school. I wasn’t the type to brag, per se, but instead I would belittle people and I was pretty insecure about myself.</p>
<p>2 factors contributed to my change. One was my spanish teacher in 8th grade. She heard me express my disgust with the spanish language and managed to forgive me. She even gave me a present at graduation. The other was the fact that like you, I realized that I wasn’t even that good.</p>
<p>Anyways high school is an eye opening time. You realize that whatever sucsesses you may have had, there is always somebody better than you. </p>
<p>It seems like you have taken the right steps and the only thing I would add is for you to constantly monitor what you say. If you don’t have a habit to contribute nice uplifting things to the conversation (like I did), it is hard to speak your mind without sounding negative. </p>
<p>In short, work on changing your mindset. Life will become exponentially better.</p>
<p>Are you religious? The Bible says “God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble” - James 4:6. Remember that phrase whenever you find yourself feeling arrogant again.</p>
<p>MathGuy, I have the same problem and I’m still working on it, even though I’m much older than you! What I am trying to do is concentrate on the other person - ask him or her lots of questions. When I thought about it, I realized that the people I enjoy talking to are the ones who really listen to what I’m saying and ask me questions about it. So I figure that’s what I should strive for. Now I just need to practice and see how it goes.</p>
<p>I had this problem when I was much, much younger(4th grade) and my friends told me I bragged too much! Haha I am glad they did, it helped a lot. I find that I stopped talking as much. You have to listen more to others, learn from them and offer complements to them when they achieve or do something(Words of Affermation). Be nicer, do things for people and your friends, help them out. And instead of when a person comments like, “I got a 95 on the exam,” don’t automatically reply with something like, “WELL I made a 99!” don’t try to prove yourself, everybody knows your smart, so why repeat over and over to everybody else. That definitely makes you friends. (Sarcasm)</p>
<p>@MutaRiSC: Thank you so much! I also had a spanish teacher in 8th grade, but he wasn’t that great of a teacher in general haha. I’m glad to hear I wasn’t alone, though! </p>
<p>@ptontiger: I am religious (Catholic to be specific)! That’s a very inspirational phrase, thanks for sharing it with me!</p>
<p>@MaineLonghorn: I think that your approach will be so, so helpful in the future! Thanks for that information and I’ll see if it works out for me too!</p>
<p>@Kaeroze: Haha, I especially enjoyed the last part of your post! But thank you so mcuh! I do think that I should be nicer and helpful. Thanks for the great advice!</p>
<p>@WabtyWabty: Yeah, I would basically be the girl you dislike! (with the exception that I’m a guy, haha) I didn’t make the greatest grades at my school (definitely my fault) and I guess I shouldn’t brag about them so much :/</p>
<p>I feel this way all the time! When I’m trying to talk about a certain subject, I really dont know how not to sound arrogant! Like, a family friend (shes my sister’s friend but shes over the house a lot and we sometimes hang out) asked me a question about something to which I responded how I really wanted to raise my SAT score so I could get into a really good school, (I dont remember exactly what she asked…) and I finished by adding I wasnt gonna get too stressed over it since I figured if I tried hard enough I would be able to achieve it. We finished the conversation on, from what I understood, a good note, but later I found out she thought I was being extremely cocky. When things like maintaining a high GPA, getting in the top of my class, and scoring high on the SATs are always in the back of my head, it sometimes makes me want to talk about these topics more often. But, I really dont know how to without sounding over confident. … Even with friends who provoke the conversation and start asking me about SAT stuff or anything like that, I feel like I might sound like a jerk</p>
<p>Do as your momma always said: “If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say it.” Just don’t speak of your SAT scores/GPA/grades because nobody is interested except you. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Would you be interested in what somebody else got on a test? That’s their business. I worry more about my own stuff. When my friends asked me about my SATs, I just told them it wasn’t that high and got off the subject. That’s usually the best way to handle it.</p>
<p>I was thinking more about that maybe Teaspoons spent WAY too much time talking about improving what would probably be a pretty good score to the girl. Ptontiger16 is right, redirect the question after saying something like, “Not as high as I would hope, so I’m working on improving it.” Then ask the person about themselves. Even though the SAT’s are really important to you(and most high schoolers), it’s not to obsessed about. (This is the wrong site to tell people not to obsess over a test:) Plus you were thinking only of yourself, the main point and the ending point, consisted of YOURSELF! A red flag was that you didn’t even remember any other part of the conversation. That’s off putting, so just think of others, be more considerate…I guess. (Rant for the day)</p>
<p>Here’s a good way of thinking about life that will make you modest most of the time: You are going to die like everyone else and no matter how special you are, you will still die, making all your hard sought accomplishments completely pointless. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.</p>
<p>Just be nice to everyone. Even though I hated some people’s guts and a majority of the people that angered me the most were idiots, I put on a smile and entertained them with a joke or two. The important thing is to be humble and not brag about anything. </p>
<p>I know one of my best friends from high school got a 2330 on his SAT, but he never bragged. Even when there were people proud of their lower scores showing off to others, he simply just shrugged it off.</p>
<p>Wow, so much great advice! It’s also nice to hear about some of your experiences! Thank you so much for all the help and feel free to add anything to this thread! :D</p>
… Even with friends who provoke the conversation and start asking me about SAT stuff or anything like that, I feel like I might sound like a jerk</p>