<p>Hi, I have a question maybe some of you people w. experience may be able to answer. In high school, I was really nice and actually pretty ignored. Then, in college, I started to be an ****<strong><em>, and people started paying attention to me. But now, lots of people get *</em></strong>ed off or annoyed by me. I was wondering if any of you had tips of how to balance being </p>
<p>a) boring and very nice
b) interesting but kind of an *******</p>
<p>to tell the truth i want to be nice with everyone, but it seems this will get me ignored or make me seem weak all the time...</p>
<p>there may be elements to your *<strong><em>-ish behavior that people find interesting/entertaining/fun (such as confidence) that you could separate from the annoying/insulting/arrogant behavior that the rest of *</em></strong> entails....</p>
<p>the most likable people are BOTH interesting AND friendly...</p>
<p>we could probably start a list of likable attributes people have, although I doubt it'd help you much... they're pretty predictable--things like humor and confidence</p>
<p>Try to find a friend who knows you pretty well and with whom you'd be comfortable having a serious discussion...preferably someone who's known you for a little while (who's known the "boring" you and the ***-y you, as it were). Try to figure out which elements of your personality are turning people off, and try to keep the good while doing away with some of the bad. Do people like that you're funny but dislike the nature of your jokes? Do they like your confidence but dislike your big ego? Do they like your outgoing nature but dislike feeling overshadowed? </p>
<p>I have a cousin who just has the world's greatest sense of humor, and it draws everyone straight to him. Magnetic personality. At one point, though, his humor started getting a little more personal, a little more biting, and it turned kind of counter-productive. People still thought he was hilarious, in general, but he hurt a lot of people with his jokes and comments. Finally, one of his close friends just told him flat-out that he'd become pretty mean and that his comments were really bothering some people. My cousin simply hadn't realized that he'd overstepped his bounds. He took the advice to heart and cleaned up his act. Still the same funny guy, much more fun to be around.</p>
<p>I personally think that being ignored seems a lot nicer than being disliked, but if you're naturally a nice person and you want to continue being one, I'm sure you'll be able to find a balance. There's obviously something about you that people like and want to be around, but also something that's bothering them. You should be able to make sense of this.</p>