<p>Hey all. I'm looking for some advice on how to deal with a somewhat unhelpful guidance counselor. I'm a rising junior at an IB school and am looking to apply to some of the top colleges in the U.S., including the Ivy Leagues. Over the course of the past two years, I've decided to take some "academic risks" in order to increase my chance of getting into the top colleges as well as to broaden my educational horizon. For example, I've self-studied for AP tests, taken extra courses online, and plan to take 6 IB courses this year instead of the standard 4 or 5. Now, my guidance counselor has been completely against most of these ideas, and I've been completely fine with that - I understand that it's her job to give me a reality check. However, I'm worried that she's beginning to think of me as just another cookie cutter kid whose only goal in sight is to get into a great college. For example, when I told her that I wanted to take IB Physics this year, she very politely told me that taking that course probably wouldn't help me get into college and instead I should consider taking a lower level class. How can I convince her that I'm not just another one of those kids who only apply to top colleges because of their name? I want to show her that I'm actually very passionate about learning and have hobbies outside of the classroom, but I think it would be a little weird to walk into her office and start telling her about how passionate of a person I am when we've hardly even talked over the past two years. And what's even worse is that she always seems to try to avoid me. I have emailed her at least five times before and she doesn't email back, and whenever I ask her questions in person, she never gives me a straightforward answer. Any advice on how to make a good impression?</p>
<p>Does she sponsor a club that interests you? Maybe letting her get to know you as a person and not as a “schedule” will help her see how passionate you are about learning? </p>
<p>Does she hold final authority over your schedule? Do you NEED her to write recommendations, etc? Did you succeed when you took those risks?</p>
<p>literally PUNCH her
make her feel sorry for her sins!</p>
<p>I had a similar issue with my guidance counselor in the beginning of freshman year. I was trying to switch into another class and she said and I quote “I’m not sure if you have the mental capability to handle the rigor of this class”. I ended up yelling at her and my mom called and got me into the class I wanted. I ended up with an 98 in the class. I’m not sure if my counselor realized that I was smart enough to handle the classes I wanted or if she knew I would do whatever I want despite her advice, but she hasn’t questioned a decision of mine since then!</p>
<p>Closertothestars, try to imagine it from her perspective. She has way more students to deal with than just you and many of them have much more pressing issues facing them than what class to take to help their chances at top 20 scools. You say you’re annoyed that she doesn’t repond to your emails, but she sees some kid who keeps sending her frickin emails and won’t leave her alone even though she’s already talked to you about these things. You say you don’t like that she thinks you’re just trying to get into good schools for the name, but to her that’s a logical conclusion, seeing as you’re “looking to apply to some of the top colleges in the US, including the Ivy Leagues.” I think it’s safe for her to assume that you don’t understand that you can get a good education anywhere, because that’s what you’ve shown her. You go to her for advice about classes, but then disregard what she tells you, which is probably extremely frustrating for her. Also, you say she doesn’t give straight answers, but there’s a good chance she thinks she is; it’s your responsibility to ask her to clarify if you don’t know what she’s saying.</p>
<p>All in all, it seems you really need to put yourself in her shoes and see that she’s not the bad guy who’s trying to crush your college dreams… She’s just a guidance counselor who sounds to me like she’s doing her job adequately.</p>
<p>…
oh
snap</p>
<p>^^^ I’ll take that as a compliment. I’m new to this section of CC and it seems you are the resident snarky person, so I consider an “oh snap” from you to be high praise!</p>
<p>ameliab12-</p>
<p>You make it sound as though it is the students job to make the guidance counselor’s life easier. That is ridiculous. The job of a guidance counselor is to help students with their problems in high school and to try to set students up well in life. If a student, such as the OP, is actively trying to pursue a more challenging education, the guidance counselor should encourage that, not make it more difficult. It would be one thing if the person was trying to go the opposite direction and get out of hard classes, but that is not the case. I have an odd feeling that you are a guidance counselor or related to one, at least. I understand trying to see things from another perspective, but I agree with the OP.</p>
<p>OP himself (herself?) says he understands that “it’s her job to give me a reality check,” so I don’t see what the problem is. He goes to her and says he wants to take harder classes, she recommends that he doesn’t, and he does it anyway… What did she do wrong? It’s her job to make sure students do well in school and she obviously thinks it’s more reasonable for OP to take a decently tough courseload and do well in it than take the hardest classes possible and potentially crash and burn.</p>
<p>I am not a guidance counselor (I’m 18…), nor do I know any guidance counselors besides the ones at my school, whom I found completely and utterly useless.</p>
<p>I’m with Amelia on this one. If you have emailed her twice and she doesn’t respond take a hint. And yes, ask her to clarify if something isn’t straightforward to you.</p>
<p>@Hopes43: I have not heard of any clubs that she sponsors, but I will definitely try to find out (I’ll probably ask her myself! That’d be a great conversation starter). She does hold final authority over my schedule, but she hasn’t completely said no to any one of my requests to take a higher level class. But yes, she is responsible for writing me a recommendation. I did succeed when I took those risks, and I’m sure she noticed. Any advice on other conversation starters? Thanks! </p>
<p>@Tennischick97: That’s awesome! I’ve also succeeded in the classes and on the exams that she told me not to take, but I’m not sure if she’s noticed. And even if she has, she’s still questioning my decisions. </p>
<p>@ameliab12: Thank you for your advice, which was much more helpful than some replies I see on here where the responder only bashes the OP. I have considered her perspective before, but even so, it was refreshing to see your post and remember that sometimes I (like most people) can get so frustrated with my own situation and forget to look at it from the other person’s POV. Anyways, my school is very small and we have several counselors, so I can’t imagine she has a whole lot to do. At the same time though, I understand completely that other students have bigger problems. Heck, she might even have something going on in her own personal life, but this has been going on for two years now and I’ve become frustrated. You said this:</p>
<p>“He goes to her and says he wants to take harder classes, she recommends that he doesn’t, and he does it anyway… What did she do wrong? It’s her job to make sure students do well in school and she obviously thinks it’s more reasonable for OP to take a decently tough courseload and do well in it than take the hardest classes possible and potentially crash and burn.”</p>
<p>Yes, after speaking with my teachers, I did go against her suggestion and I did take the higher level course. The thing is though, I ended up doing extremely well in that class as well as the exam associated with it (I received a 98% and a 5 on the test) and she still insists that I don’t take the higher level course that I want to take this year. </p>
<p>Look - I know that I can’t change her opinion and the MAIN isn’t that she suggested that I not take the course. I understand that most guidance counselors will do that because it’s their job (although I do think they should explain why they think I shouldn’t take the course instead of just telling me not to take it and then assuming that I only want to take it to get into a top college). My problem is that she seems to think of me as a cookie cutter student when I believe that I am not. I have a lot of interests outside of school and I want her to know this, I just don’t know how to bring it up! If you have any advice on how I can do so, please let me know. Thanks for your post. </p>
<p>@valleyjoe: I sent her one email asking if she could please sign me up for an AP test at another school (my impression at the time was that only guidance counselors could sign kids up for AP tests). Two weeks later, she still hadn’t replied and the deadline to register was coming closer. I sent her another email after those two weeks, she still didn’t reply, and so I had to email testing administrators at schools myself and ask if they could take me in late. I had to pay a $100 late fee for each test (I took two, so that was $200 in total) which wouldn’t have happened if she had just seen my email and signed me up for the test. Can you see my frustration now? I don’t know why I should “take a hint” when it’s her job to help me, especially seeing that that AP test was REQUIRED so I could get credit for that online class.</p>
<p>Number one, I know how you feel. I’ve had problems with my guidance counselor, too. The biggest lifesaver for me is my school’s IB coordinator. I hope you have one. Mine is known to override counselor’s schedule changes in order to accomodate the specific needs of top-college-bound IB kiddos. Perhaps another member of the administration that has control over scheduling, etc. is more familiar with the needs of overachieving students. Ask another counselor, your principal, an assistant principal, the IB coordinator, anyone else to help you with these issues. Ask one of your teachers to advocate for you in moving to a higher level course, since they will know your work ethic and genuinity!</p>