A True Story of College Acceptance and Waitlist

Parents Forum
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<p>Move this post to the Cafe if it doesn't belong here, Moderators, please.</p>

<p>Thought I'd share a true story from last year. Am switching the college names to like schools for privacy reasons.</p>

<p>Friend of mine was very proud to have the first generation to go to college as her son. It's been a rough ride for the young man, as it was for her. Her father is a well to do business man who owns a good abount of property and building around here. Self made and lives very modestly despite his holdings. He has traditonally given his graduating grandchildren a brand new car, something that has not always had the best outcomes. My friend told her father they would prefer that he paid the money towards her son's college expenses. In a fit of generosity, maybe a few drinks too many, and certainly an ingnorance in how much a private college education costs these days, he proclaimed (on video tape, no less) that he would pay for any of his grandchildren's college educations as long as they pass their courses each term. </p>

<p>Son was accepted to St J's among other schools, so Grandpa, mom, dad and student all went to check it out one last time before Granddad paid the deposit with great flourish. Though he was somewhat shellshocked at the price of a private college he was still game. They stayed overnight at a nice hotel, enjoyed a nice dinner and bought out the campus bookstore. </p>

<p>And then, he cleared the waitlist for P College. One of his first choices which he had pretty much forgotten once waitlisted, and mom had mailed the waitlist postcard without really much hope given the number of kids on it. It was also a reach school, so even being waitlisted was an honor as far as the young man was concerned. So of course, he HAD to go there. Mom was not thrilled. They had visited the school early in the process and the young man seemed to have no firm reason to go there and was mixing things up about it with another school. So, she took two days off from work, and she and Grandpop who was footing the bill joined son for the road trip.</p>

<p>Of course, he was adamant that this was where he preferred to go. Another deposit check, another night at a hotel, this time not so much enthusiastic spending at the gift shop. That was over a thousand bucks in deposits within a week and nearly that amount in making the trips, not to mention lost work time. The old man was livid, grousing that "those running this racket are the biggest thieves, he's ever run into. That even the crooks in his business gauge you less," He went out and got drunk that night proclaiming that the higher education racket is where the big thieves are these day. They blackmail you with your kids and grandkids as their hostages. </p>

<p>My friend pitched the waitlist acceptance to the first choice school in the trash that she got the following day.</p>

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<p>Some schools will refund your deposit if you withdraw your acceptance on a timely basis. We put down a deposit to Choice #2 while waiting to hear about waitlist status from Choice #1. As soon as yes came in from Choice #1, we withdrew acceptance from Choice #2. All of this happened one week prior to May 1. Surprisingly Choice #2 refunded our deposit because we notified them so quickly and prior to May 1.</p>

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<p>And since this was last year, can you share how the student fared during his freshman year at the chosen school?</p>

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<p>Of course, the letter was addressed to mom, right? </p>

<p>If junior knew and tossed it, fine. If he didn’t, mom is very, very wrong.</p>

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<p>Im confused… he paid both deposits and then mom thru the acceptance away? And because Grandpa got drunk and went into a rant, the mom capitulated without tel? not sure I get it. :)</p>

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<ol>
<li><p>The kid got accepted to Third Choice U, paid the deposit, then got accepted to Second Choice U, paid another deposit, then got accepted to First Choice U, but Mom intercepted the letter and didn’t tell him about it. (Sounds a little urban-legendy, since most waitlist stuff, especially at selective schools, happens via phone calls and e-mails before anything goes in the mail. But maybe Mom answered the phone call and said no thanks.)</p></li>
<li><p>I think almost everyone will refund your deposit if you tell them you have changed your mind before May 1. Some colleges may even refund it after May 1, but not so many.</p></li>
</ol>

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<p>Personally, I don’t see the “story”.</p>

<p>Grandpop is wealthy enough to pay full freight to a private school. If it were me, I’d make darn sure that kiddo REALLY wanted to attend before forking over a quarter of a mill $. The extra night in a hotel and lost deposit is spare change in the big picture.</p>

<p>and btw, tossing #1 in the trash eliminated the ability to even see thier financial aid offer.</p>

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<p>If grandpa was paying full freight… had they even applied for financial aid? And if not, and they as a family would have qualified, they probably cost grandpa even more money. I know lots of families where Grandparents help with the gap etc. Not MY inlaws or parents, mind you, but I know of others… :)</p>

<p>And truly… based on how the month of April is shaking out, I am thinking it might be less expensive to put down deposits at two schools just so we can make a final decision in JUNE at the rate we’re going!! I can probably make up the lost deposit just by what I save on planning airfare more than two weeks out!</p>

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<p>I had to read it 3 times before I realized there was a 3rd school in the mix.</p>

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<p>That might be one of the lessons here, if you can stand the uncertainty hold off making a deposit until April 30 (most schools are happy to take your dough via the website). Yes, go visit the schools your kid is accepted into, get excited, maybe even buy the sweatshirt, but sit tight 'til April 30th and see what happens. </p>

<p>Also, please encourage your kids to send in those “No, thanks” cards to the schools to which they’ve been accepted but have no intention now of attending. There are other kids out there waitlisted at that school, who would love to attend!</p>

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<p>Here’s another true tale of wacky families. Susie goes to expensive prep school in 9th, loves it, has parents pay deposit for 10th, then hates it and insists on transfering to the pubic hs. In mid-10th, decides she wants to go back to the prep. They won’t take her back, so she applies to another prep for 11th, less selective, more costly. Loves it, parents deposit for 12th. Then she hates it, has to transfer to an even more expensive prep. (Why they all kept admitting her is a mystery to me.)</p>

<p>Guess what? Susie starts at college 1, hates it, transfers to college 2. We’re waiting to see if she sticks that one out. Btw, middle-class family.</p>

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<p><a href=“Why%20they%20all%20kept%20admitting%20her%20is%20a%20mystery%20to%20me.”>quote=lookingforward</a>

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<p>Your answer was right there all along:)

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