<p>zoosermom, Good for you and your family! Some parents make the mistake and spend everything and go far into debt for their oldest child, and then there is nothing left for their second child. This is truly sad. I have seen it happen to a family. The oldest child went to a 40,000+ school paying full freight (no grants/merit award). They also bought a used car for this child in hs. They have 2 more children. The second child was ready for college last fall, and there was no way to pay for it. They sold their modest home, and bought a less expensive one in another community in attempt to get out of debt. The second child is still living at home and working. He has not started school yet, b/c the parents simply do not have the money to pay for it. This child also does not have a car that the first child was given. I don't know why he does not begin in a community college, but perhaps he will begin soon.</p>
<p>Our first kid did not have the ambition or drive. She started in community college and finished at the State U. Her education cost us almost nothing. For our younger D, the first semester of college cost more than the total of 4 years for the older D. Sometimes we feel a little guilty about this. The older D did get a nice NY-style wedding. We have told the younger one, when the time comes she can plan on a reception in the backyard.</p>
<p>edad, It all worked out, and different kids have different needs. It is just sad when parents do not think it through, and everything goes to the oldest child, and then nothing is left for the other children. Education is important, and kid #1 got the first class ticket to one, in the case I described, but kid #2 is not even in at the gate yet.</p>
<p>^That's a shame. Our income plummeted around when kid two started school, but we feel it's our obligation (and privilege) to give him the same opportunities as his sister, so we planned for that ahead of time.</p>
<p>Garland I agree with you about obligation and privilege. These parents did not plan poorly with their assets, but they planned poorly on how much they should spend on their oldest child, and subsequent children. In their case, knowing the abilities of ch #1, I would have had her on a full or half tuition at a 3rd tier, or offered her Rutgers (she would have been able to really do well there). Then ch #2 would have been able to go to a 4 college last fall. A car would have been out of the question for both of them.</p>
<p>Amen to the last. Neither of my kids (21 and 24 now) have ever owned a car.</p>
<p>The first child syndrome happens a lot. See it all of the time. Part of it is that the cost of college is a relentless beat of huge bills, and some people just don't know how tough it is paying it term after term until they do it. We were a'rarin' to go with our first. Now with the third, we're worried.</p>
<p>Somehow folks always assume things will "work out." Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. My dad says he wouldn't have been able to figure out how he was going to come up with grad school tuition & expenses for all of us kids (we were a very large family) would have thrown up his hands if he had thought too much about it. Nonetheless, we all got college degrees & then all went to grad/pro school out-of-state. We were not rich & much of the time, dad was the sole breadwinner. Mom was thrilled when the last kid finished grad school & she could quit being a special ed teacher because it was just too physically gruelling (had severely multiple handicapped kids).</p>
<p>It is sometimes tough to estimate how much it will all cost & where the assets will come from. Sometimes scaling back dreams is very useful.</p>
<p>I really have to commend people who have more than one child, and manage to support them all through college equally. Figuring out how to leverage available cash and balance it against the needs of all of the children, let alone generating it in the first place, is just mindboggling to me...</p>
<p>Garland,
We told our kids a few years ago that a car was not in their financial aid package. I don't care if they're willing to pay for a car, insurance, gas, etc. themselves -- that $$$ needs to go towards their share of college expenses. </p>
<p>The only exception would be if one of them decided to live at home and commute to the state U. Knowing them, they would much prefer dorm life to a car!</p>
<p>countingdown, We did the same thing.</p>
<p>Same here. Oldest son now out of college, a car owns him. At what he is making, he really can't afford one, but can't work without one. I think now he understands the cost implications of a car since he HAS to pay for it on his own. All the talk in the world would not have gotten it through his thick head, had we bought a third car, and just charged him expenses for it while he was in school. The fact that he is responsible for ALL of his expenses out of a meagre pay check brings home the cost of each item. When they are still pretty much in your pocket, there is too much going back and forth on money for it to hit home.</p>
<p>My S only got his driver's license because I insisted it would be a good & useful form of ID. He has not much interest in driving and none in owning a car. Perhaps this discussion may be revived at some future date, but I rather doubt it, unless he gets a job/internship that REQUIRES he have a vehicle. He has caught buses & walks, which works fine for me & him.</p>
<p>My 16-year-old has a car that she uses to commute between the Community College and her gym. She is a safer driver than I am. It is a Honda born the same year she was. She calls it, "Mercedes".</p>
<p>DS had a couple ancient cars given to him in hs and college, then bought his own used car. Now that he is working he found a lowcost yuppie car on swaplease. 12 month lease to see how he feels about buy vs lease.
Now dd1 begged for a car, threw in what little she had (musician with zero free work time) and we spent 2500 on an old toyota. What a car! She lives in NYC and it is now split between myself and DD2, who gets to drive to school when I don't need it.
I need a different type car, this one's truck is not designed in a way that lets me put my scooter in easily. Any car geeks out there for a thread?</p>
<p>When we began the college fund for our children 20 years ago we set a goal of $100,000 for each child. We knew that would only pay for state school or for half of private school. So I guess we had good instincts or advice in our estimate of $50K per year because that is what it has turned out to be.</p>